Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 434: Madam Wu

Translator: Pika

“What the hell?” Ji Dengtu had just been talking to King Liang and reminiscing about his past glories. It felt as if he’d regained his youth! However, when he turned around and glanced in his daughter’s direction, he was met with this outrageous scene!

He had been over the moon just a second ago, yet just a second later, it was as if his entire clan had been robbed. He was about to explode on the spot!

You have successfully trolled Ji Dengtu for 1024 Rage points!

He immediately went mad and charged towards them, but he was stopped by the imperial guards. They might have allowed a delicate and harmless young lady to get close to the criminal, but there was no way they would let such a powerful man do the same.

These soldiers of the Imperial Guard were all respectable warriors, and the Embroidered Envoy was present as well. Not even someone with Ji Dengtu’s cultivation could get past them.

This only made him even more angry.

You have successfully trolled Ji Dengtu for 999... 999... 999...

The pearl that he’d carefully cultivated all these years had been ravaged by a pig! He felt as though he could write ten books about what he was currently feeling.

King Liang quickly stopped him as well. He said with an embarrassed smile, “My friend Ji, please do not let yourself be too bothered about matters between youngsters.

“Of course, as an old friend, I must respectfully offer my advice. If you don’t want your esteemed daughter to live as a widow, you should find her a son-in-law as quickly as possible. I fear that this one won’t survive much longer.”

Ji Dengtu’s eyes burned with righteous fire.

What do you mean, son-in-law? Why the hell would I accept someone not even that bastard Chu Zhongtian wants as a son-in-law?

Hold on, my daughter is so cute and adorable. I don’t even want her to be defiled by a son-in-law. I hate that term!

Ji Xiaoxi finally separated from Zu An. She hid her face in her hands and ran.

Ji Dengtu gave Zu An a hateful glare. “Brat, how dare you bully my Xiaoxi?! If you don’t bring me ten novels the next time I see you, I will kill you even if the emperor doesn’t!”

With that, he immediately took off after his daughter, crying out ‘Xiaoxi’ in a loving manner the entire time.

Something had truly been wrong with him earlier when he agreed to bring his daughter to meet with Zu An. If he knew things would turn out like this, he would never have read this kid’s books.

But I really want to know what happens next... damn it...

King Liang was momentarily speechless. Just how had this Zu An managed to gain the favor of so many girls?

No wonder Sang Qian got so mad when he saw Zu An placed in the same carriage as his wife. They were both from Brightmoon City, so he probably already knew just how much of a lady-killer Zu An was. That explained why he was so worried.

If Sang Qian were able to read his mind, he might just faint from anger. King Liang could already visualize the man screaming away.

Why would I be scared of Zu An’s charm?!

Who would be happy seeing their wife alone with another young man?!

“Stop standing around already. We’re moving out immediately!” King Liang and Liu Yao waved their hands, and their group continued on.

Zu An licked his lips. He looked as though he still hadn’t snapped back to reality.

Zheng Dan said in a slightly sour voice, “I know Miss Ji’s lips are sweet, but do you have to savor the taste of them like that?”

Zu An chuckled but didn’t say anything. There were too many people watching, so he had to choose his words carefully.

The secret message that Ji Xiaoxi had passed on to him appeared in his mind. “If you find yourself in a situation where death seems inevitable, break this pill. This is a Play Dead Pill that I made. Once you ingest it, your body will be just like a corpse for twelve hours, and no one will be able to tell the difference. Whether or not this can help you get away will depend on your own luck.”

Ji Xiaoxi had used the pretense of kissing him to press this pill against the side of his teeth. It suddenly felt as though he had an extra tooth. He felt around it, but it felt just like any other tooth to him. He had no idea how she’d managed to place the pill there so quickly.

This girl’s tongue is so nimble and agile, if this skill was used somewhere else...

Zu An’s face heated up. He immediately began to repent for having these thoughts.

Even the usually timid Xiaoxi gathered the courage to see me. Where the heck are big Manman and big sis Shang? Given their friendship, he’d expected that the two of them would at least send him off.

Hmph, women are heartless after all. I’m going to give you all a good spanking once I'm back!

Wait. If it's big Manman, I’ll have to hit her somewhere else...

To alleviate the boredom, Zu An let his imagination run wild. Just like that, their group proceeded along the government road.

He suddenly noticed that Zheng Dan seemed rather uncomfortable. Only then did he realize that there wasn’t anything blocking the sunlight from shining down into the prison carriage.

Girls always took great care of their looks. A distinguished daughter like Zheng Dan would have made sure that she was protected from the sun whenever she went out. When did she ever have to go through something like this?

As such, he began to kick up a fuss. King Liang and Liu Yao rushed over when they heard the news. They gave him an impatient look. “What is it now?”

Zu An said, “I want to change carriages.”

“Why?” The two of them looked at Zheng Dan. It can’t be that you’re unhappy being together with a beauty like this, can it?

Zu An said, “This carriage is completely open, and there are always people looking at us. I feel like a monkey in a zoo! Not to mention, I was sexually harassed by a girl earlier because this carriage wasn’t covered up!”

Those around him cursed him immediately when they heard this.

You call that shit ‘sexual harassment’?

You clearly reached your tongue out happily!

We’ll gladly accept this sort of sexual harassment!

You have successfully trolled the Imperial Guard for 666... 666... 666...

King Liang also gritted his teeth in anger. If you give this kid an inch, he takes a mile! However, his previous threat was still fresh in his mind, so he said with a snort, “Send someone to fetch a cover! Cover up this carriage.”

Zu An immediately shook his head. “I won’t sit in a prison carriage, I want to sit in a carriage like yours!” He pointed at the spacious and luxurious carriages that the two imperial leaders occupied.

“An actual carriage?” Liu Yao burst out laughing. “Who do you think you are? You want to sit in such a carriage even though you’re a criminal?”

In the other prison carriage, Sang Qian cursed Zu An for being an idiot. He’d actually brought up this sort of impossible request!

However, Zu An’s face remained completely straight. “I know that I’m a criminal, but I’m not an ordinary criminal. The emperor surely wants my Phoenix Nirvana Sutra, and it’s stored in my head. If you guys treat me well on the way there, who knows, I might just happily recite the sutra for him! But if you guys treat me poorly, I will tell the emperor that I don’t want to recite it anymore because of you guys.”

“Whether you recite it or not is not up to you,” Liu Yao sneered. “Besides, the emperor is a mighty and heroic figure. Do you think he will be deceived by these small tricks of yours?”

Zu An smiled. “Feel free to give it a try! I don’t think it’s that hard for you guys to transfer me into a different carriage. You guys have barely anything to lose. However, if you offend me, you may be taking a huge risk yourselves. For example, I might tell the emperor in private that you guys tried to force the Phoenix Nirvana Sutra out of me.”

“Absolute nonsense!” King Liang and Liu Yao’s expressions flickered. They did not think that the emperor would care much if Zu An brought up his poor treatment on the way to the capital, but it would definitely be a huge issue if Zu An falsely accused them of forcing the Phoenix Nirvana Sutra out of him.

This was a technique that granted eternal life! This was something the emperor desired most of all! How could mere subjects like them even think of acquiring it for themselves?

Even though they could defend themselves, the risk was just too high.

Zu An continued, “Oh yeah, there’s something else I need to remind you guys about. News of the Phoenix Nirvana Sutra has probably already spread, and people along our route will surely find out about it soon enough. Since this carriage isn’t covered, anyone can tell that it’s me from a distance, and might start crafting up all sort of plans. Who knows, maybe an arrow will come whistling over, and I’ll breathe my last. How will you explain that to the emperor?”

The commander of the Embroidered Envoy, Huang Huihong, became upset. “With us present, no arrows will reach you.”

“You might be able to stop the arrow of an ordinary archer, but what about a high level cultivator? For example, a ninth rank, master rank, or even a grandmaster rank?” Zu An asked.

King Liang and Liu Yao’s expressions grew more uncertain. This possibility really did exist.

After all, there were too many people who did not wish to see the emperor gain eternal life. It wasn’t impossible for a grandmaster to get involved in this matter.

Even though they didn’t fear a grandmaster in a straight fight, they really couldn't do anything about an arrow fired from far away.

King Liang issued his orders. “Make some room in General Liu’s carriage and move him there! General Liu will stay in my carriage.”

Liu Yao’s face darkened immediately, but it quickly eased a little when he heard the latter half of his order.

Zu An pointed at Zheng Dan. “She’s coming with me, because...”

Before he had even finished, King Liang waved his hand tiredly. “Enough already. Put Miss Zheng with him.”

He’d already had his fair share of this kid’s mouth. If he allowed him to keep speaking, he might just blurt out another pile of hot garbage. For the sake of his own mental health it was better to stop listening to him altogether.

Sang Qian immediately began to grunt again. He wasn’t expecting them to really permit Zu An to sit in a carriage, let alone having Zheng Dan accompany him!

You have successfully trolled Sang Qian for 1024 Rage points!

He had still been able to see everything that was going on before, since the prison carriages were only made out of some bars. However, they were now being moved into a different carriage, and these carriages that were prepared for important figures were all tightly covered! He wouldn’t be able to see what was happening inside at all!

King Liang snorted. “With so many people standing guard, we’ll know about everything that happens inside. You don’t need to worry about those trivial things.”

He couldn’t be bothered with Sang Qian any further. Explaining this to him was already showing him quite a bit of respect.

Both he and Liu Yao returned to their carriage. The two of them didn’t really get along to begin with, so it felt rather odd for them to share a carriage.

They were both pissed when they thought about how all of this was because of Zu An.

You have successfully trolled King Liang for 233 Rage points!

You have successfully trolled Liu Yao for 846 Rage points!

Liu Yao was much more upset, because he had to give up his personal carriage.

The two of them sat in silence within the carriage. The mood was terribly awkward. In the end, it was Liu Yao who broke the silence. “We’ll be passing King Wu’s territory once we leave Linchuan Commandery. Do you think that he will...”

King Liang shook his head. “I don’t think so. King Wu is a prince born from his majesty’s concubine, and he usually maintains a low profile. I don’t think he will entertain any thoughts that he knows he shouldn’t.”

“That’s good then.” Liu Yao sighed. Then, he smiled and said, “This King Wu is also a little too low-profile. Others in his situation would marry into a large clan, yet he ended up taking the girl of a third-rate clan as his wife.”

King Liang said with a laugh, “Even though Madam Wu’s doesn’t have the most illustrious background, I’ve heard that she is quite the beauty. Everyone claims that King Wu cherishes beauties over worldly glory.”

Liu Yao snorted. “Worldly glory wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him even if he’d married a woman from a great clan.”