Chapter 1735: Freaky Affixed - Hurricroak

[So...we’re basically done confirming that these tinker toys are only able to use Chaos in a hyper-specific way, right?] I asked my fellow kaijin as a dude with a weird buzzsaw arm tried to overpower my vice grip.

[I think so,] Nepherage answered as she threw an attacker towards Zhen Shi, who then proceeded to swing down a heavy [Astra] chain down on the fucker’s head. [So I think we can just fight for real now.]

[Perfect!]

Now that I had the go-ahead, I proceeded to twist the guy I had in my claw towards me while transforming my off-hand into a bear paw and infusing it with thunder aether.

Once my paw palm was fully charged, I thrust it forward and slammed it right into the chest of the Affixed warrior.

I didn’t tear the man’s arm off in the process, but I did definitely hear something snap, something pop, and definitely several somethings crackling like pop rocks in a bottle of water.

[Awww. He passed out,] I declared as soon as I felt the guy in my claw go limp. [Time to find someone else to fight!]

With an unceremonious toss of my claw, I got rid of my defeated foe and tried to find someone else to fight in the airspace.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone else available.

All of the Affixed who wised up to the idea of attacking us in the sky were now occupied fighting either Zhen Clan regulars, Storm Singers, or my fellow kaijin.

[Hmmm.]

Turning my gaze downwards, I saw that the zakos were having a grand old time down below, especially since some of the Affixed had yet to wise up and realize that these grunts of ours were immune to everyone except them specifically.

[I feel like I should check on Rhythm and Blues...but that seems too much like helicopter parenting. I guess I’ll just drop in to see where the music takes me. Oh! Now that’s an idea!]

Wanting to make an entrance, I proceeded to circulate [Chaos] and aether throughout my entire body, causing it to become wreathed in thunder and lightning. While I was charging, I proceeded to cost myself in crab shell armor.

[Bass drop!]

And once I was fully charged, I launched myself downward, shoulder first.

...

•What the fuck is—•

BAM!

[Hah! First kill when I arrive, I am on a roll!] I declared.

I had assumed that the moment I launched myself downward like a bolt of lightning, that I would be hitting nothing but dirt or a very unfortunate tent set up in the worst possible location.

Instead, I ended up slamming into some poor schmuck who reeked of onions and stale cheese.

[And up!]

Rolling off the poor fucker, I stood myself up and took in the chaos that was happening all around me.

The Collectrix’s army of lackeys was too used to being the attacker rather than the attacked, and it fucking showed.

There were no defensible positions, no wards, not even a trap.

There were a lot of foolhardy warriors who tried to attack the zakos with brute force tactics, but that panned out about as well as one would think.

Namely, some dumb motherfucker, an Aether Master or Acolyte, would sense the lack of aether coming off of one of the zakos.

"Hey! That guy isn’t realeasing any aura!"

"Get him!"

Ergo, they would assume that a quick and dirty application of aether would work in bringing them down.

[Iron Splitter!]

[Golden Claw!]

Only to become stunlocked once they realized that their attack didn’t just prove ineffective, but the damn thing had somehow disappeared like sugar poured into a glass of water.

"Wait, what?"

Only to then realize that they had an incredibly painful mistake, as the zakos took a cue from the Maestro’s school of dirty fighting.

THWACK

*High-pitched squealing that can only be caused by the sound of eggs cracking in ways they were meant to be cracked.*

"Ah...my ancestral treasures..."

[Haha.]

Surprisingly, this happened more often than I thought possible. Then again, all of this ambient [Chaos] had probably fucked with these warriors’ ability to think to the point of reckless stupidity.

[Come on! Come on! I thought you were supposed to be tough! Hit me! Hit me!] a familiar voice called out from behind me.

Turning my head, I saw that it was my apprentice Rhythm, dancing and dodging the attacks from a quartet of aether warriors armed with clubs and axes.

[I guess that name was more apt than I thought,] I mused as Rhythm proceeded to dance two of her attackers into each other before performing a breakdance maneuver that simultaneously knocked the attackers off their feet and landed a pair of powerful flippers to their faces.

[And done!]

Once she had swept up her opponents, she spun her feet around and put herself in a kneeling position before me. Honestly, it was a touch more impressive than if she decided to stand up straight and then kneel.

[Rhythm greets Master Hurricroak.] Rhythm said in a tone that was a mild mocking of the dubbed kung-fu movies I sometimes watched in the Library. [That title doesn’t seem to fit right...]

[Ain’t no thang, my little dancing chick,] I said as I helped Rhythm to her feet. [I see you’re having fun fighting amongst the masses.]

[Oh yeah!] Rhythm agreed with a nod while placing her flippers on her hips. [It’s fun making other people move to my moves.]

[Agreed,] I nodded before realizing Blues wasn’t near by.

My apprentices had a tendency to fight solo but also in the general vicinity of one another, kind of like planets in orbit.

[Hey, where is Blues? That stubborn old stomper should be crashing through or kicking somebody into the ground by now,] I noticed.

[Oh, he should be over-]

BAM!

Before Rhythm could finish answering me, the aforementioned donkey zako suddenly sailed right between the two of us before crashing into a tent and smashing it into smithereens. I didn’t even need to feel or see that my donkey-like apprentice had somehow gotten smack by an attack that was way more powerful than he had anticipated.

Especially since there were cracks across the donke zako’s boney body.

[Blues!] Rhythm cried as she ran up to look over her injured counterpart. As for me, I directed my attention towards the big balooka who laid my zako low.

"Where the hell did that fucking donkey go?!" A voice as shrill as an alto saxophone rang out. "You’re going to pay for kicking in my child’s skull!"

[I...feel like I should be more surprised that someone boned you, but I think you look shocked enough for the both of us.]

Appearing in my vision like a fucked-up phantom, a weird, spindly motherfucker with bulbous eyes like a fucked-up lizard and nails as long as daggers came snarling towards me, Rhythm and Blues.

Staring the motherfucker up and down, I could see that he was one of the Affixed, but on the stronger side of the spectrum. In other words, he was probably an Aether Lord or Grandmaster but was now more or less elevated to the level of an Aether King due to being fused with at least Silver-grade Aether Treasure.

The aforementioned treasure was what appeared to be a fucked-up birdcage chestplate replacing their actual ribcage.

The moment this bird wraith motherfucker locked eyes on me, I could feel the penetrating gaze of someone who thought they finally found someone fun worth fighting.

"Well, well, well! What have we here? A strange frog woman who appears to be the teacher to these two bony bastards?" the gangly freak-of-nature crowed and croned. As he didi, I could feel him using his senses to look me over. "Looks like Pechi-Pechi is going to have more offerings to present to her lady...wait...this feeling...ah! You must be one of those Kaijin that she was searching for! How lucky! How fortuitous!"

[Oh, that’s not good...]

Implications as to why the Collectrix knew about me and the others aside, the fact that this rank-and-file chud knew what I was was a bigger question. One, thankfully, he answered via fucking monologue.

"When her ladyship blessed me and the others, she said that there were others here with powers like ours, powers that were greater than ours."

[Well, thank you for the compliment.] I said while transforming my limbs into their tiger forms.

"But! She said that if we manage to capture or defeat any one of you monstrosities, then she would make it so that we Blessed warriors would not only get stronger but also take whatever it is you have and make us into something like her!"

As he continued to spout such nonsense from his mouth, I noticed the bird cage in jaj chest beginning to glow and stir.

"So please be a darling, and surrender willingly."

[And if I don’t?] I asked while taking on a fighting stance.

"Then I’ll just tear you down to the bone!"

Once he made this declaration, he opened the cage in his chest.

[Magpie Storm!]