Chapter 233.

He lifted his gaze to hers.

"I gave it up because I couldn’t keep living a life that wasn’t mine. You made me realise that. But the decision was mine, Kylie. Mine."

He swallowed hard.

"If you never speak to me again, I will still have to live with the man I choose to become. I will still have to build a life I can look at without wondering when I stopped being myself."

His eyes shone.

"You didn’t make that decision for me. You didn’t ask me to make it. And you don’t have to carry it."

Kylie stared at him, unable to speak.

He looked at her for another long moment. Then, slowly, he lowered himself to his knees.

"Christian?"

He didn’t answer.

He moved closer on his knees until he was directly in front of her, and then wrapped his arms around her waist.

His forehead came to rest against her lower abdomen, and he broke softly with his arms trembling around her waist as he struggled to draw a steady breath.

"I’m sorry, Kylie."

Her hands fell to her sides.

She couldn’t move. She couldn’t understand what she was seeing.

Christian Sinclair was kneeling on the floor of her little apartment with his face pressed against her stomach.

Crying.

For a moment, she forgot how to breathe.

"Christian..."

His arms tightened around her, not enough to hold her in place, but enough to tell her how desperately he wanted to.

"I know I don’t get to ask you to stay," he whispered against her. "I know I don’t get to ask you to forgive me."

His voice broke again. "But I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry."

Kylie looked down at him. A tear slipped from her chin and landed in his hair.

He didn’t lift his head.

"I wish I could take it back," he whispered. "Not the decision about my family. Not choosing my own life. I needed to do that."

His breath shuddered.

"But I wish I could take back every moment I made you feel like you weren’t allowed to choose yours."

Kylie’s hands began to tremble.

She had imagined Christian apologising. She had imagined him explaining himself, perhaps even arguing with her until they both grew too exhausted to continue.

She had never imagined this.

Never imagined the man who had once seemed so certain of everything would kneel before her without asking for anything in return.

She bent slowly, bringing herself closer to his eye level.

"Christian."

He lifted his head.

His cheeks were wet. His eyes were red, and the sight of him looking up at her with so much hurt and love made something inside her ache.

She searched his gaze.

He looked as though he was trying to memorise her face while accepting that he might not get to hold it in his hands again.

"Please don’t do this," she whispered.

His mouth trembled. "I’m not trying to make you stay."

"Then why are you crying?"

He let out a broken breath. "I love you."

Her eyes squeezed shut.

"And because I hurt you," he continued. "And because I can’t fix that by buying you something or making a speech or telling the whole world how much you mean to me."

He looked at her. "I know that now."

Kylie opened her eyes.

He lifted one hand, hesitated, then let it fall back to his side rather than touch her face without permission.

"I don’t know how to make this right," he admitted. "I’m trying to learn. I swear to you, I’m trying."

His voice was almost gone.

"But I don’t want you to have to teach me at the expense of yourself."

Kylie stared at him.

Her fingers twitched.

She wanted to touch his face. She wanted to brush the tears from his cheeks and tell him to stop looking at her like that. She wanted to pull him up and hold him until neither of them could remember what they had been fighting about.

And she also wanted to run at the same time. Loving him had become terrifying.

Because she had begun to imagine a future with him, and now that future seemed to be standing in front of her on its knees, looking at her as though she held the power to destroy him.

She didn’t want that power. She didn’t want to be responsible for his happiness. She didn’t want him to look back one day and resent everything he had lost.

And she didn’t want to lose him.

God, she didn’t want to lose him.

"I’m not a good choice," she whispered.

Christian’s face crumpled. "Kylie—"

"I don’t know how to do this." Her voice shook. "I don’t know how to love someone without waiting for the moment they decide I’m too much trouble. I don’t know how to believe you when you tell me I’m enough, because I’ve spent so much of my life being told that I’m not."

She swallowed, trying to steady her breathing.

"And I don’t know what happens when you wake up one day and realise that you gave up your whole life for a woman who can’t even tell you she loves you without being terrified."

Christian’s tears fell faster.

He bowed his head for a moment, pressing his lips together as though he were trying to keep himself from breaking further.

Then he looked up at her.

"Then we don’t have to figure it all out today."

Kylie stared at him.

"We don’t have to decide what our future looks like. We don’t have to talk about marriage. We don’t have to make promises to each other that you’re not ready to make."

His voice shook.

"You don’t have to be ready just because I am."

He took a breath.

"And you don’t have to become a different woman to be loved by me."

Her lower lip trembled.

"I am not asking you to be less frightened. I’m not asking you to trust me because I cried on your floor or because I gave up my inheritance."

A tear slipped down his cheek.

"I’m asking you to let me become someone you can trust. And if you can’t do that right now, I’ll have to accept it."

He looked at her for a long moment.

"But please don’t tell yourself you’re not the woman I want just because you’re afraid."

His voice fell to a whisper.

"You are the woman I want, Kylie. The loud one. The stubborn one. The one who laughs when she’s nervous and argues when she’s scared and pretends she doesn’t care when she cares so much it frightens her."

A faint, broken smile crossed his face. He swallowed. "The one who deserves to be listened to herself."

Kylie absentmindedly dug her fingers into his hair.

"And I am so sorry that I forgot that when it mattered most."

For several seconds, neither of them spoke.

Christian remained on his knees, his arms resting loosely around her waist, giving her every opportunity to step away.

She didn’t.

Instead, she reached for his face.

Her hands shook as she cupped his cheeks, with her thumbs brushing the tears beneath his eyes.

Christian closed his eyes.

The moment her palms touched his skin, his breath caught. He leaned into her hands before he could stop himself, as though even that small kindness was more than he had allowed himself to hope for.