Chapter 195.

Music Recommendation: Lover by Taylor Swift

.......

Much closer.

She could barely make out his features in the darkness. But she knew he was attentively looking at her.

She could feel it.

She smiled. "You really don’t know how to behave around me."

"Neither do you."

She thinned her lips.

Christian shifted slightly. His hand rested on the mattress between them.

Kylie’s eyes fell to it.

His fingers were only inches from hers. She stared at them. Then she slowly moved her hand across the mattress.

Her little finger touched his.

Christian smiled softly.

Kylie didn’t move away. Their fingers slowly intertwined. Something warm moved through her chest as she looked at their hands, then at him.

She had come here because she wanted to sleep beside him.

That was all.

At least, that was what she’d told herself.

But lying here with his fingers wrapped around hers, she realized the truth. She hadn’t come because she was afraid to sleep alone.

She hadn’t come because she needed protection. She hadn’t even come because she was still recovering from what happened.

She had come because she wanted him.

Kylie swallowed. "Christian."

"Hmm?"

"I think..." She stopped.

He waited. "What?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

He smiled faintly. "You do that a lot."

"Do what?"

"Start saying something and then run away from it."

She frowned. "I don’t run away."

"You do."

"I walk away."

"Same thing."

"No, it isn’t."

"What’s the difference?"

"Running is dramatic." She rolled her eyes at him.

Christian laughed softly.

She smiled.

Then the smile slowly faded because he was still holding her hand, and she was still looking at him.

Kylie’s heart began beating faster.

She looked at his mouth.

Christian noticed. His eyes dropped to her lips, and then returned to her eyes.

The air between them suddenly felt different. Thicker, and warmer.

Kylie could hear her own breathing.

Christian’s thumb brushed slowly over the back of her hand.

She shivered. Her lips parted.

"Kylie." His voice was low.

"What?"

"You should sleep."

She stared at him. "Why?"

"I don’t want to assume anything."

Her heart squeezed. He was giving her an out again. He always did. Even when he wanted something.

Kylie moved slightly closer.

Christian’s eyes followed her.

"I came here because I wanted to be near you."

His expression softened. "I know."

"No." She shook her head. "I don’t think you do." She released his hand, then lifted it to his face.

Her fingertips touched his cheek.

Christian stopped breathing for a second.

Kylie smiled faintly. "I wanted to kiss you tonight."

His eyes darkened.

"Why didn’t you kiss me?"

He gave her a small smile. "You didn’t ask me to." He covered her palm on his face. "I don’t want to be too forward with you, Blue. If asking your permission would keep us this close, then I’d always ask."

Kylie stared at him. She moved closer. Her knee brushed his. Her voice dropped to a whisper.

"What if I’m asking now?"

Christian didn’t answer. He simply held her gaze.

Kylie’s heart pounded.

She leaned closer slowly. Giving him every opportunity to stop her.

He didn’t.

Their foreheads nearly touched.

She could feel his breath against her face.

She whispered his name. "Christian."

"Yeah?"

"I’ve wanted to do this all night." She whispered.

Kylie swallowed, and then, she kissed him.

It wasn’t rushed, or desperate.

It was the kiss she’d been thinking about since he’d walked into her bedroom earlier that night.

Christian remained still for the first second, as though making absolutely certain this was what she wanted.

His hand came gently to her waist.

Kylie moved closer.

The kiss deepened. Her fingers curled into his hair as she pulled him closer, and Christian’s arm tightened around her waist, drawing her against him.

This time, the kiss lingered.

Her chest loosen. She had not expected fireworks, but what she felt was quieter. Deeper.

She felt the strange feeling of finally allowing herself to want something without immediately talking herself out of it.

She pulled away just enough to breathe.

Christian looked at her. His forehead rested against hers. He blinked twice, and smiled at her.

Kylie smiled back at him. "There."

His lips curved. "There?"

"The kiss."

He chuckled softly. "You came all the way to my room for that?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Don’t ruin it."

"I’m not."

"You are."

He smiled. "I’m just surprised."

"Why?"

"You spent the entire night reminding me you’re not my girlfriend."

Kylie groaned.

"And now you’re in my bed."

"Don’t say it that way."

"You kissed me."

She covered his mouth with her hand. "Stop talking." She eyed him.

His eyes smiled.

Kylie shook her head.

He gently caught her wrist and lowered her hand. Christian’s thumb brushed her cheek.

"I... I think..." he stammarded. Christain shut his eyes briefly, and parted them again. His eyes softened, as he pushed the words back.

Instead, he entirely changed the conversation. "How is your apartment hunt going?"

"Okay." She smiled.

"That’s all you’re going to say?" Christain asked her softly. "Talk to me. I got you one already."

Kylie blinked. "What?"

"I got you an apartment." He repeated. "Nothing much, but I need to be certain you don’t remain here against your will."

Her heart tightened. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I love your thoughtfullness, but I might have to...."

"You won’t pay rent." Christain gently cut her off. "Everything has been fully arranged. All you need is to just say yes."

Kylie pulled back a bit. She bit her lower lip. "Can I think about this? Also, I need to see it first to make sure I’ll like it."

He smiled. "I knew you’d say this. Yes, you can think about it." He moved strands of her bangs off her forehead. "Whenever you are ready, I can take you to see it."

She nodded softly. Having no words to say, she moved closer and rested her head against his chest instead.

Christian immediately wrapped an arm around her.

The movement was so natural that neither of them questioned it.

Kylie listened to his heartbeat.

His arm tightened gently around her.

Kylie smiled against his chest, and wrapped a hand around him.

Christian’s fingers moved gently through her damp hair. Kylie stayed quiet with a realization that frightened her far more than she wanted to admit.

She wasn’t just falling asleep beside him.

She was falling for him. Slowly, and quietly. Without permission. Drawing in a shaking breath, she realised she needed to stop this madness.