Joy of Life

In this world, many marvelous sounds could make a listener shiver from their ears to their hearts, like touching electricity and instantly experiencing an incomparably complicated feeling. These unrestrained sounds could make one think of many associated things, further creating complicated feelings.

Sounds like those of field mice gnawing on the stems from below the quiet paddy fields could turn into raindrops gently falling onto a beach. If a love-sick country girl sitting on the field heard this slight sound, it could turn her thoughts toward boundless romance or in the opposite direction.

A rustling sound could be a water bird tidying its feathers, the untying of clothing, or a rubbing sound. Countless swords in the burial mound outside the window, stuck upside in the ground and enveloped by the dusk of Dongyi, knocked into the sea wind and made gentle metallic sounds filled with a murderous aura. If Fan Xian closed his eyes and listened, perhaps he could hear the gentle sound of wind chimes.

The sound of tearing was one with which humankind was most familiar. It often followed the breaking of some kind of weak object, such as Qing Wen tearing a fan, Fan Sizhe tearing books back in the day, or Fan Xian tearing Yan Bingyun’s white robe in a Shangjing hall to help him carefully bandage an injury.

The magic of this sound was exhibited vividly and thoroughly in the quiet room of the Sword Hut. The two people, who had previously been angry and coldly denouncing each other, both stopped their words and actions following this sound.

A large tear had been made in the little Emperor’s plain robes, straight down from the neck until the abdomen, revealing the white inner clothing. It was like an egg that had been carefully removed of its shell to reveal the tender contents within. It was also like a well-wrapped gift someone had torn the ribbon from to peep at the treasure within.

It was already deep in spring, so people were not wearing much clothing. The little Emperor was not an exception. A broken piece of clothing hung from the bright yellow sash. It appeared somewhat funny. However, the underclothing inside and chest was all white and blinding.

Fan Xian sank into silence. He had to admit this act had been unintentional. It had just been an action formed through anger after arguing endlessly. Perhaps he unconsciously also had some sadistic urges toward this Emperor. When he actually tore the Emperor’s clothing and saw the smooth throat and tender skin that could not belong to a man, he froze. He was unsure what he should do next.

There was a slight bump at the little Emperor’s throat. It was clear that someone had done something. After losing the cover of his clothing, it could not escape Fan Xian’s eyes.

Although her, not his, chest was still tightly wrapped under white bandages, the edges of the bandages revealed her stubborn feminine attributes. Overflowing and plump fat under the skin nakedly betrayed her true sex.

Fan Xian’s eyes stared at her chest. He was very admiring of the abilities of the Northern Qi royal family. He didn’t know what materials the white bandages were made off to be able to hide a pair of jade rabbits so well so that no one discovered the secret within.

“Ahem… If you want to hide after developing, it is very difficult. Furthermore, it is not good for your body.” His lips were slightly dry as he stared. Irresistibly, he began to think about how the two balls of tender flesh had been forced to change shape under the white bandages. No one knew how excited they would be after they were let out to breath.

After confirming the little Emperor’s sex, he had to use a harsh method to shatter the hard shell around their hearts. After actually confirming, he was slightly dazed. Staring at her chest, he felt as if his outer shell had been shattered.

Long hair gently slid by her ear to her shoulders. This instant of gentleness perplexed the Northern Qi Emperor slightly. It was as if the darkness in the deepest reaches of her heart had been completely dispersed by Fan Xian’s action of undoing her hair. It would never press down on her heart and be a heaven burden that made it difficult for her to breathe. In that instant, she had already given up and accepted her fate.

She even faintly liked that her hair could gently float down because across from her was Fan Xian. The Fan Xian she had once liked and hated. She had once fearlessly demonstrated her soft side to Fan Xian when he had been hazy with drink. There was no time for the little Emperor to think. Unconsciously, perhaps she had long thought about this before. If someone in the world knew of her female body, Fan Xian would be the best choice because she had already revealed everything to him. However, he had been in an unknowing stupor.

The little Emperor’s faint beauty and sorrow, a rare thread of feminine aura, was all because of Fan Xian. She accepted her fate. She even gritted her teeth and forced herself to suppress the helpless joy in her heart. However, with a tearing sound, the front of the little Emperor’s robe was torn with unusual directness by Fan Xian’s coffin-breaking hand, revealing a body that had never been shown to others.

She was dumbfounded. A brilliant light began to glow in her eyes. Shocked into speechlessness by this powerful impact and danger, she could only stare dazedly into Fan Xian’s eyes. Her entire body froze as her hands clenched angrily. Shaking helplessly, the wooden bed beneath her squeaked.

The little Emperor did not cover her chest. She allowed the spring light to gradually seep out of the white cloth, filling the room. She stared at Fan Xian with anger and hatred.

She realized that Fan Xian’s gaze was fixed on her chest. There was an aura she despised showing in them. Then, she heard Fan Xian’s advice about the development of her chest. An awkward and angry red flush extended out from the corners of her eyes and gradually spread out. It filled her two cheeks and ears and continued down. In the end, even the snow-white skin of her chest above the white bandages began to color with a faint and alluring redness.

The dusky light outside the window was nowhere near as eye-piercing as the bright red on the little Emperor’s body. Fan Xian narrowed his eyes. His right hand, seemingly moving without his permission, stretched below the little Emperor’s chin. His fingertip flicked away the disguise at the little Emperor’s neck. With the fake Adam’s apple gone, although her chest was still hidden under the white cloth, she felt softer and gradually developed in the direction of a girl.

Fan Xian scrutinized her brows and her eyes. He leaned closer as if admiring a unique treasure. He remained silent. He was indeed astonished. How could a woman fool everyone under heaven for 20 years? She had been Emperor in Northern Qi for 20 years, yet no one had found a single flaw.

Her brows had been touched up since childhood and gradually had grown thicker. There seemed to be some drug used on the corner of her eyes so that the emotions in the eyes appeared more stable. As for gaze and behavior, presumably, it was the training the Northern Qi empress dowager had given the little Emperor since her childhood.

In the spirit of research, Fan Xian was astonished by one of the greatest mysteries in the world, which was why he was leaning closer and closer. He didn’t notice that although the little Emperor was frozen with anger by the side of the bed, the anger in her eyes was gradually fading to hatred and then indifference.

The little Northern Qi Emperor was a woman. Although this was something Fan Xian had guessed three years ago, if the two of them never had the chance to be alone in a quiet room, he would never have been able to confirm this, or use this, in his life. Putting aside how he could use the Northern Qi empress dowager and Emperor’s greatest weakness, just proving this astonishing secret already made Fan Xian very happy.

Suddenly, a fist definitely, not as big as an earthenware bowl, suddenly appeared in front of Fan Xian’s eyes. The skin on the fist was smooth and tender. One could even see the faint blue veins. This also proved that this punch was very powerful, had been held back for a long time, and moved very fast.

With a crunch, two streams of blood flowed out of Fan Xian’s nose. He angrily covered his nose, glaring at the little Emperor, whose fist was extended straight out. He thought that at least he had not been brought to a nosebleed by this flat-chested woman, so it wasn’t too embarrassing.

Given his superior ninth-level skills, to be hit on the nose by a jack-of-all-trades female Emperor, who had trained under Lang Tiao, was already embarrassing enough. If he had not been so lost in thought and deeply examining the little Emperor’s face and chest, he would not have been struck by the fist.

The little Emperor slightly took back her fist and smiled coldly. “I have never been slighted in my entire life. Any who dares to be contemptuous must pay the price.”

These words were spoken with great righteousness and matched with the little Emperor’s natural born monarchical face. The light mockery at the corner of her lips, and her calm might, made her appear slightly imposing. However, the front of her robe was ripped. The strips of cloth hung weakly on her yellow sash. She looked wretched but just happened to make such a face. It was very funny.

Fan Xian did not smile. Wiping the blood from his nose, he calmly said, “I won’t quibble about this punch, but I hope there will be no more in the future. Don’t forget, you are a woman.”

You are a woman.

These words smashed ruthlessly into the little Emperor’s heart. It sent her monarchical heart into chaos. It cut her up and made her tremble in fear. A darkness, anger, and hopelessness filled her heart. Even her messy black hair by her lips felt her emotion and pressed against her mouth, allowing her to bite it viciously.

Fan Xian was shocked by this hopeless expression. He was not a soft-hearted person, but he had never thought that the Northern Qi Emperor would have such a day and reveal such a pitiful appearance. These few years, the Northern Qi court and various important matters already proved this female Emperor’s ability. Under great pressure from the Qing Kingdom, she was still able to keep Northern Qi stable. Based on this one point, Fan Xian had no choice but to give her a high score for her ability to rule a country.

Without question, years of disguise had had twisted the little Emperor’s mental psychology slightly. However, this kind of twist was still within a controllable boundary. Since she had to be on guard at all times from revealing the secret, she had become extra cautious and careful. It gave her a composure and maturity other people her age did not have.

Even though she was under Fan Xian’s control, she still did not show a trace of panic. When Fan Xian once again mercilessly reminded her that her secret could become common knowledge to everyone under heaven tomorrow, she finally could not endure it anymore. Her hard outer shell shattered into countless pieces like a sea snail crushed by a large rock.

The little Emperor’s gaze was filled with rancor and rage. There was also a strange glimmer of calm inside, a deathlike calm. After the calm, a sliver of craziness gradually gathered in her look.

Fan Xian had seen this look before in the moment before the Eldest Princess Li Yunrui died. His heart clenched. He slowly lowered both his hands, ready to move at any moment.

The little Emperor’s expression was a bit wooden. Opening her lips, she allowed her black hair to slide down and said in an icy voice, “I am not one to be threatened.”

She thought she could guess what Fan Xian would do after learning her secret. With such a large secret in his hand, given the Overwatch Council’s power, he could easily shake the foundation of the Northern Qi royal family’s governance. The entire North would fall into chaos because of this message.

“You cannot use me. If you expose this matter, I won’t be of any use. If you keep hiding this matter, how could I be used by you?” The little Emperor watched Fan Xian with rancor.

Fan Xian was silent for a long time. He then slowly lowered his head. “I do not have many demands. I just want you to be more obedient.” The corners of his lips raised in self-mockery. “You are a woman, after all. No matter how incredible, in some important junctures, you are not as tough as us stupid men. If I want to do great things, it is impossible to rely on you.”

The little Emperor’s eyes narrowed. “It looks like you’ve long considered what happens next, but why should I listen to you?”

After saying this, determination and hatred flashed brilliantly through the little Emperor’s eyes. Pulling out a small dagger from somewhere, she plunged it ruthlessly toward her own chest.

Entering the Sword Hut, Fan Xian had felt safe. He didn’t think much about the little Emperor, so didn’t search her body. After all, she was a woman. Plus, he didn’t want to offend her too much. Thus, he had no idea that the Emperor still had a last dagger left to commit suicide.

Had this dagger been given to her at a young age by the Northern Qi empress dowager? For some reason, a faint sympathy suddenly rose in Fan Xian’s heart, sympathy for this female Emperor in front of him. She was frightened at all times, terrified that someone would discover her sex and unable to live like other girls. How could such a life have even a modicum of joy to speak of?

He swept in and flicked his finger against the little Emperor’s meridian.

With a clang, the small dagger fell beneath the bed. A glimmer of hatred flashed through the little Emperor’s eyes. Her left hand quietly triggered the crossbow in her sleeve, making three thuds.

The room rang out with Fan Xian’s strange cry. He forcefully twisted his body by the side of the bed. His body rolled like a grey dragon and dodged the three crossbow bolts. His clothing had already been slightly torn by the three poisoned bolts. Fortunately, he still bore the Overwatch Council clothing underneath. Otherwise, one strike would have been enough to injure him.

Fan Xian grunted and pushed the little Emperor onto the bed. Holding down her shoulders with his hands, he struck down with an angry fist right into her face.

His anger was because he had just felt some sympathy for this female Emperor but had almost been secretly injured by her. Only now did he understand that she was, after all, an Emperor, a third kind of creature removed from male or female. When faced with the greatest predicament in her life, she would stop at nothing, not even sacrificing her own life, to kill him.

Blood flowed from the corners of the little Emperor’s lips, but she did not faint. Lying proudly and resentfully on the bed, she looked at Fan Xian straddling her body and said, “If you have the guts, kill me!”

Fan Xian would not kill her. After grasping her secret, as long as he could truly conquer her heart, this ruler of a country would become his third treasure in the world after the chest and Uncle Wu Zhu.

But, how could he conquer the heart of a stubborn and intelligent Emperor who had been a man for 20 years and did things with great masculine determination?

The shortest way to a woman’s heart was a dark path, Fan Xian understood what this meant. Straddling the little Emperor’s body, he knew that it was impossible to fake what was below his body, the elasticity particular to females. He knew how ambiguous his posture was and how abundantly it was filled with eroticism. But, he was not, after all, a rapist. Furthermore, he didn’t think that after raping the Northern Qi Emperor he would truly be able to achieve his goal.

Given his understanding of the little Emperor, if he let the Emperor go, perhaps she would only use hot water to wash below and pretend to have been bitten by a dog. This could mean never seeing him again in this lifetime, severing all of his later plans.

The little Emperor struggled under Fan Xian’s body. Raised as a boy since childhood, her strength was far superior to her martial prowess. Fan Xian, lost in thought for a moment, was almost flipped off.

Fan Xian looked at the blood at the corners of her mouth and resentful gaze. A wave of irritation and anger washed over his heart. Growling in a low voice, he said, “You, woman, are so bothersome. I only brought you down because you wanted to kill me!”

“Bring me down?” The little Emperor suddenly stopped struggling. She launched a fist toward Fan Xian’s face that was so beautiful it made one loathe it. Angrily, she said, “Are you going to rape me as well?”

Fan Xian dodged this shady punch. Finally, his anger boiled over. He roared with grievance, “It was you who drugged and raped me! Yet, you say I am going to rape you?”

The little Emperor’s expression changed. Perhaps she had remembered what happened in the broken down temple outside Shangjing that summer. Her entire body weakened slightly, but she was not just anybody. Used to being the Emperor, she knew she could not lower her head to Fan Xian now. Otherwise, she would spend her entire life under him. She lowered her head and struggled to crash into Fan Xian’s chin, trying and flip them so she could be on top.

After the little Emperor heard the words “that summer,” it was as if she had gone crazy. Wildly, she began to attack Fan Xian, biting, twisting, pinching, and hammering. No one knew how that tiny body had such a wild manner and boundless energy. Fan Xian did not want to kill her. For a time, he was tormented wretchedly. Red bite marks appeared on his arm through the sleeves. The biting had also brought out his anger. He slapped toward her body with an open palm, just like how he used to smack Fan Sizhe’s bottom.

Perhaps those peeking in on the clamor in the Sword Hut would ask, why didn’t Sir Fan junior just knock out the little Emperor?

The reason was actually simple. Those who fainted always wanted to wake. Without making the little Emperor submit, Fan Xian would have taken all this risk for nothing.

There was also another reason that could not be said aloud, which was that fighting a female Emperor was like fighting a child. Heads rubbed together. Clothing twisted together. Limbs wrapped around each other. It felt like the water in West Lake. Wave after wave, gradually entering the boat, or the bed, as well as the hearts of the people on it.

The two people on the bed carried out a competition with their bodies stuck against one another. It was exactly like the so-called judo. Those who had seen judo knew that one of the requisite moves was to pull on clothing. No matter how sturdy the clothing, there would always be a day it was pulled open.

In the end, the little Emperor’s white bandages of unknown materials were finally broken. It made the second tearing sound that rang out in the quiet room.

At this time, Fan Xian was being sat on by her. His eyes were filled with boundless snowy mounds. His expression became obscured. He thought that not only was she a woman, she was also a great woman.

The man and woman romping around were both tired. The little Emperor sat on Fan Xian’s body with her clothes in disarray, holding down his hands. She did not notice that her chest was half exposed and had been completely seen by Fan Xian. However, the situation seemed like it was the little Emperor who was raping Fan Xian.

The little Emperor’s black hair at her temples was already wet with sweat and stuck together. Paired with her straight brows, it had a particular sense of beauty. Everyone in the world respected her as an Emperor and would never look at her fully. Even if they looked, they would not feel anything different. Now, she was a proper woman in Fan Xian’s heart. Looking at this scene, he felt a sense of stimulation he had never felt before. A strong woman with gentleness within, the status of an Emperor, and who would never be satisfied with being on the bottom laid tightly against him, carrying out the most intimate connection.

The little Emperor sat on Fan Xian and didn’t notice that Fan Xian had suddenly fallen silent. She was almost out of strength. She didn’t know about her future or the future of Northern Qi. Hopelessness filled her heart. Many things had happened in 20 years. It made her incomparably exhausted. She wished she could lie down right here. However, her status as the Northern Qi Emperor made it impossible for her to lie down and rest.

She suddenly felt that she was very lamentable and blinked helplessly. Following this blink, a few drops of sweat slid down her long black hair and landed on Fan Xian’s chin. Just like a drop of oil falling into a fire pit, it lit the fire in Fan Xian’s heart.

“Was it this posture in the temple?” Fan Xian’s voice was raspy. He looked at the face and slightly moving snowy mound close to his face.

The little Emperor held his hands and lowered her head weakly. Her heart was filled with boundless sorrow, dissatisfaction, and anger. Suddenly, she raised her head and stared ruthlessly into Fan Xian’s eyes. He didn’t know if she had remembered that scene in the temple or if she had come some kind of decision. She decided in the midst of her life as an Emperor to allow herself to decide one thing, even if it was a crazy and absurd thing.

She lowered her head and used her thin lips to block Fan Xian’s lips. She then she bit down hard. Fresh blood bloomed like a flower between them. The little Emperor suddenly remembered that when she had her first occurrence of menstruation, she felt as she did now, filled with irresolution, anticipation, fear, excitement, and hopelessness.