Ch. 336 - This Little Box Is Your Eternal Home

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"Teacher, that really was profit-sharing just now!"

Just as Liu Feng stood there dumbfounded, A'Liang and Wang Jue spoke up in unison.

"You already killed a king-rank beast, giving us a cut isn't too much, right?"

"Hold on, let me process this!"

Liu Feng rubbed his forehead, his brain struggling to keep up for a moment.

"You bastards didn't do a damn thing, and you want three hundred credits in profit-sharing?"

His gaze shifted to Chen Shu, as if seeking confirmation.

Chen Shu nodded.

"And you two haven't even heard of Living Wood Swamp, and you still want a cut?"

Liu Feng turned his gaze to A'Liang and Wang Jue.

He'd expected them to look embarrassed, but instead, they nodded with the utmost seriousness.

The three of them had already gone completely off the rails!

"Now I get it!"

Liu Feng nodded. Far from getting angry, a smile actually crept onto his lips.

"I'll ask you one more time. Are you absolutely sure?"

Wang Jue and A'Liang looked toward Chen Shu, waiting for his opinion.

Seeing Chen Shu nod, the two chimed in their agreement as well.

"Fine! You're young, and you've got guts, I'll give you that!"

Liu Feng couldn't help but give a thumbs up. They'd actually tried to extort him.

This was practically making Huaxia Academy history!

Half an hour later.

Liu Feng stood atop a giant black spider, barreling straight toward the school's back mountain.

Dangling from one of the spider's legs were three people, bound by spider silk, their mouths even sealed shut.

Students passing by were all chilled to the bone, not daring to get close, silently offering their condolences in their hearts.

Which unlucky bastard had pissed off Butcher Liu this time?

The school back mountain.

The three were lowered to the ground by the spider, the silk finally removed from their mouths.

"Help!"

Chen Shu immediately screamed at the top of his lungs. The moment he saw the back mountain, old memories surfaced in his mind.

Don't tell me we're getting buried again?!

"Go ahead, scream all you want. Even if you screamed your throats raw, no one's coming to save you!"

Liu Feng's lips curved upward, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Pick a box!"

He pointed at the ground, where dozens of exquisite little boxes had been laid out.

"Wh-what boxes?"

Chen Shu's expression froze. He didn't get it.

"No matter how fancy your house is, it's just a temporary dwelling. This little box is your eternal home!"[1]

"If you won't choose, I'll choose for you!"

Seeing the three unmoving, Liu Feng casually pointed at three boxes at random.

The moment those words landed, Chen Shu and the other two exchanged glances, an ominous premonition rising in their hearts...

At the same time, Liu Feng walked over to a massive pit nearby. The space beside him ruptured once more.

A stream of flames gushed forth, filling the entire pit with fire.

The scorching heat spread outward, but the hearts of Chen Shu's trio turned ice-cold.

"T-teacher! We..."

"It's fine, it'll be quick!"

Liu Feng's expression remained dead calm as the spider slowly pushed the three toward the fire pit!

"Wrong! Really wrong! Help!"

"We were momentarily blinded by greed, we were fools! We really got it wrong now!"

"We'll be good students from now on!"

The three immediately howled at the top of their lungs, panic written all over their faces.

No wonder it was an "eternal home" — those little boxes from earlier were goddamn cremation urns!

Could you at least give us a little buildup?! How do you just jump straight to cremation?!

"And that profit-sharing from earlier?"

Liu Feng crossed his arms, his expression utterly unruffled.

"What profit-sharing? We never heard of such a thing!"

The three spoke in perfect unison, outright denying their earlier words.

Liu Feng said, "So now you're willing to be my students?"

"Willing! A thousand times willing!"

"That's more like it..."

Liu Feng nodded. The black spider beside him opened its massive jaws and reeled the silk back in.

The three successfully freed themselves, their hearts letting out a huge sigh of relief.

Jumping straight to the goddamn crematorium — who the hell could handle that?!

Chen Shu glanced at the fire pit beside him, swallowing hard.

"Professor Liu, just... is there maybe a possibility..."

Chen Shu, still clinging to a sliver of hope, asked, "That we could switch to a different advisor..."

Pfft! Pfft!

In an instant, the flames in the pit spread wildly, the fire surge doubling in intensity!

"Uh... just kidding..."

Chen Shu immediately shut his mouth. If he kept talking, he really feared his new dorm would end up being a little box...

Liu Feng nodded and said, "If any of you dare entertain any more nonsense, I'll cremate you straight away."

"Professor Liu, do you happen to know someone named Shen Wushuang?"

Chen Shu seemed to think of something and asked.

"I've looked into it. She was your Special Training Class teacher. Why?"

"Nothing... nothing at all..."

Chen Shu shook his head, unable to stop himself from sighing up at the sky. [2]

One specializes in earth burial, one specializes in fire burial. Why the hell am I this unlucky?!

"Alright, back to your dorm!"

Liu Feng said, "I won't be bothering you for now. You two need to reach Black Iron rank as soon as possible — you're way too weak otherwise."

The three then scrambled away, finally making it back to the Honors Dorm.

"Damn, that was way too close."

Wang Jue let out a breath, collapsing onto the sofa.

A'Liang downed some ice water and said, "I think we might have just made the first wrong choice of our lives."

"Chen Shu, how are you so calm?"

"Because this is the second wrong choice of my goddamn life!"

Other teachers were ferrymen, sending generation after generation of students off on their way.

But that was just the fake kind of "sending off." For the real deal, you had to look at Shen Wushuang and Liu Feng...

The three ultimately accepted their fate. At least they'd gotten their credits — risk and reward went hand in hand, after all.

That evening, while the three were gaming in their dorm, a message arrived on their phones.

"Student Chen Shu, you have been assigned to Beast Taming Class 3. Please proactively join the class group chat. For any issues, you may contact your homeroom teacher. Contact information..."

Although they were all in the Beast Taming Department, the five hundred students were still divided into classes for administrative convenience.

"Bandit Bro, A'Liang, our class assignments are out!"

Wang Jue held up his phone and announced.

All three had been assigned to Beast Taming Class 3. University class assignments weren't based on strength — they were randomly allocated.

Just like in his past life, once you were in university, your gaokao scores stopped mattering. Everything was a fresh start.

Although Chen Shu was currently the strongest, with the four SS-rank geniuses like Yu Yi right behind him...

Once the others reached Black Iron rank, the power rankings would reshuffle all over again.

Chen Shu simply joined the class group and paid no further attention, instead pulling out his phone.

"Hey, Sis Fang Si?"

"Chen Pi, what's up?"

"That True Treasure..."

Chen Shu was pretty much out of money at this point.

Between the Tianhua Group, his black market shop, and the Beast Tamer Association website —

He'd been using all three channels to buy up Black Iron-grade medicinal materials.

If the proceeds from last time didn't come through soon, he was about to go into debt.

"I found a buyer, but the sum is too large. It'll take two or three days to process the transfer."

Fang Si said, "What's wrong? Out of money?"

"I'm managing, I can hold out!"

Chen Shu asked, "By the way, Sis Fang Si, can you recommend a pair of pants under a hundred thousand yuan — around ten kuai or so?"

"..."

Fang Si instantly fell into silence.

After a long pause, she spoke: "How about I hurry the buyer along, alright?"

"Thanks, Sis Fang Si."

The two hung up. Fang Si was now a fourth-year student, and things had gotten busy again.

She had to prepare for her breakthrough to Silver rank, prepare to join the Dragon Guard, and also complete the school's graduation assessment.

"Chen Shu, someone actually dares to owe us money?"

A'Liang had caught bits and pieces of the conversation and immediately sidled over.

"Since when did it become 'our' money?"

"Ahem... close enough..."

A'Liang coughed and said, "If there's trouble, come to me. As long as the money's right, I can take anyone down!"

"Really?"

Chen Shu raised an eyebrow. "I think that Liu Feng from the academy's been a little too cocky lately..."

Before he could even finish, A'Liang immediately collapsed to the floor, convulsing uncontrollably...

"The hell!"

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. Did you have to be this dramatic...

After a long while, A'Liang slowly got up, patted his head, and said:

"My memory's been a bit fuzzy lately. I wasn't talking nonsense just now, was I?"

"..."

Right at that moment, A'Liang rubbed his hands together and said, "So, about what you promised me... the potion..."

Before he could finish, Chen Shu immediately collapsed to the floor, convulsing just as dramatically.

The two were basically taking turns having episodes!

Wang Jue watched from the side, utterly stupefied. Compared to these two, he seemed like the only normal one...

[1] 这个小盒才是你们永远的家 (zhège xiǎo hé cái shì nǐmen yǒngyuǎn de jiā): A viral dark-humor meme from Douyin/Kuaishou (~2020-2021). "This little box is your eternal home" — the "little box" being a cremation urn. Originated from funeral-themed skit content. Liu Feng deploys it with perfect deadpan timing.

[2] 土葬与火葬 (tǔzàng yǔ huǒzàng): Shen Wushuang literally buried Chen Shu alive (earth burial) back in the Special Training Class days. Now Liu Feng threatens cremation (fire burial). The two traditional Chinese funeral methods have become a running gag across Chen Shu's academic career.