Ch. 319 - The Bandit's Twilight

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Just then, someone silently typed out:

"Student Chen, I get it, but why are your two usernames 'Thousand-Year Chen Pi' and 'Ten-Thousand-Year Chen Pi'..."

"???"

Chen Shu's eyes went wide. He stared at the names of his main and burner accounts and froze on the spot...

In an instant, both of his accounts turned to grayed-out profile pictures!

Half an hour later.

Chen Shu's main account came online and typed:

"Classmates, always remember to stay vigilant about online security. Don't visit dangerous websites. My account was just hacked — you guys didn't get scammed, right?"

"..."

The group fell completely silent once again.

Although Chen Shu's flex had failed, there was no denying that the students would definitely remember him now.

"Whatever. Flexing online just doesn't hit the same. Gotta do it in person once I'm at Huaxia Academy!"

Chen Shu shook his head, a wicked grin curling at the corner of his mouth:

He was going to cast a shadow over all of Huaxia Academy!

"But before I leave Nanjiang City, I've gotta stir up some trouble. Otherwise everyone's gonna miss me!"

Chen Shu got up, stretched his limbs, and headed out of the house.

Bang bang bang!

"Dali, open up! It's your captain, Uncle Shu!"

"Chen Pi, what are you doing in the middle of the afternoon?"

Zhang Dali looked bleary-eyed, clearly having just been woken up.

Chen Shu clapped him on the shoulder. "Taking a nap? Where's your youthful energy?!"

"Nap? What nap?"

Zhang Dali let out a yawn. "I haven't even had breakfast yet."

"..."

Chen Shu's eyes went wide. "It's almost three in the afternoon! You're something else."

"Get cleaned up and get dressed. I'll treat you to a meal!"

The moment Zhang Dali heard the word "treat," his expression immediately sharpened and he perked up considerably.

Ten minutes later.

The two of them wandered the streets, Zhang Dali munching on various snacks with visible delight.

Chen Shu spoke up. "Dali, any good spots for causing trouble?"

"The Spirit Suppression Bureau works!"

"??"

Chen Shu shot him a look. "So the plan is: cause trouble, straight to prison, no delays en route. That it?"

Zhang Dali said coolly, "A true bandit dares to face the cold iron bars!"

"Dali, when did you get this bold?"

Chen Shu looked him up and down with a hint of suspicion in his eyes — had he been possessed or something?

"Nah, you cause the trouble, and I'll report you. Satisfies your craving and I get the reward money. Two birds with one stone!"

Zhang Dali's eyes sparkled. Man, I'm a little genius!

"Get lost!"

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. So that was your angle, huh?

Zhang Dali's eyes darted around. "How about visiting the school?"

"School hasn't even started yet. Why would I go there?"

"It has. The Special Training Class started a week ago!"

Chen Shu blinked. "But it's only August. What kind of school starts now?"

"Can't be helped. Our school made way too big a splash this year. All the other high schools want to wipe away their shame, so they formed their Special Training Classes early."

"And now they're rat-racing already, huh?"

Chen Shu shook his head. But no matter how hard they raced, there was still only one Nanjiang Bandit!

"Let's go. I'm gonna mentor the juniors!"

Chen Shu grinned, the light of the bandit gleaming in his eyes.

"..."

Zhang Dali silently offered a prayer, then immediately followed Chen Shu with a face full of excitement.

"We'll hit Nanjiang First High first!"

Half an hour later.

Chen Shu and Dali arrived at the gates of First High.

He was about to speak when he noticed a sign hanging at the entrance.

On it, in bold letters: "Forbidding criminals and Chen Shu from entering the school — this is the meaning of our Security Department's existence!"

"???"

Chen Shu's gaze went blank. What the hell kind of statement was that?!

Just then, the drowsy security guard at the gate caught sight of the two of them.

He immediately snapped to attention and whipped out his walkie-talkie:

"Major hostile situation! Requesting backup! Requesting backup!"

"Wait... sir..."

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. "I'm Nanjiang City's Top Scholar!"

Obviously!

The security guard curled his lip. If it had been anyone else, would the school have gone to such lengths?

"You'd best not force your way in, or I'll call the police immediately!"

"..."

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. He exchanged a glance with Zhang Dali and had no choice but to dejectedly leave First High.

Next, the two of them headed to the other high schools.

Without exception, every single one had blacklisted him. The commotion had even drawn the attention of the Spirit Suppression Bureau.

"Forget it. Let's go back to my alma mater."

Chen Shu shook his head and sighed at the sky: Me, the grand Top Scholar of the college entrance exam — reduced to this!

...

At the gates of Nanjiang Second High.

"Student Chen Shu, our apologies. We need to check with the principal!"

"???"

Chen Shu's mouth fell open. Even my alma mater won't have me?!

Moments later, the principal came hurrying to the gate in a panic.

"Ah, Student Chen Shu!"

The principal smiled, fine beads of cold sweat forming on his forehead.

Back when Chen Shu was just a Beast Tamer Intern, he'd already turned the school upside down. Who knew what kind of strength he commanded now?

"Principal, this is a bit 'stab the bandit in the back once the grinding's done,' don't you think?"[2]

Chen Shu stroked his chin. "I'm an honored alumnus of Second High, yet this is the treatment I get?"

He beat his chest and wailed in grief: "Ah, the bandit's twilight!"[1]

"..."

The principal's mouth twitched. "I merely wished to personally welcome the pride of Second High, that's all."

"Really?"

Chen Shu said, a strange smile curling at the corner of his lips. "So you're saying I can come in?"

"Er..."

The principal hesitated, but when he thought about the menace before him, he could only nod in the end.

"Then I've misjudged you, Principal!"

Chen Shu spoke. "By the way, did the school's education funding come through yet?"

"..."

The principal swallowed. This felt like dealing with a debt collector.

"The funds are all allocated by Teacher Shen Wushuang. As principal, it's not really my place to interfere."

In the end, his eyes darted around, and he deftly passed the buck to Shen Wushuang.

"In that case, I'll pay Teacher Shen a visit."

The principal wiped his sweat as Chen Shu and Dali navigated the campus with practiced ease.

At the Beast Taming Arena.

Twenty students stood in neat formation inside.

Shen Wushuang's expression was stern. "You are genuinely the worst class I've ever taught!"

"If you don't work harder, I'm afraid the glory brought by your senior Chen Shu will be utterly ruined at your hands!"

He berated them relentlessly. This year's students really were far too lazy.

At this rate, next year's college entrance exam would be another loss.

"This year, your resources total over a hundred million — the highest in the school's history. If even that doesn't produce results, the school will be thoroughly disappointed!"

Shen Wushuang shook his head as he lectured.

Just then, his gaze dropped to the ground, and his expression suddenly froze.

On the ground, a shadow showed someone creeping up behind him on tiptoe.

The moment he saw that familiar movement, Shen Wushuang's eyes contracted. He understood immediately.

"What the hell!"

He suddenly sidestepped, perfectly evading the sneak attack from behind.

Chen Shu stood there holding an empty urea bag, having caught nothing but air.

"Pity..."

He shook his head. Shen Wushuang had actually dodged it!

As expected of his teacher — no ordinary figure!

"Are you out of your damn mind?!"

Shen Wushuang's mouth twitched, a trace of lingering fear in his heart.

"Er..."

Chen Shu quietly put away the urea bag. "I merely wished to test the teacher's reaction speed, that's all."

The new Special Training Class remained dead silent, but their eyes were filled with admiration.

As expected of the Nanjiang Bandit! Truly a paragon of respecting one's teacher!

[1] The Bandit's Twilight (悍匪迟暮, hànfěi chímù): 迟暮 means "twilight years/declining age," most famously from Qu Yuan's Li Sao (c. 300 BCE): "I fear the beautiful one's twilight years." Chen Shu wailing "The Bandit's twilight!" at eighteen — because schools won't let him in — is absurdist irony at full volume.

[2] Kill the bandit once the grinding's done (卸磨杀悍匪): A parody of the chengyu 卸磨杀驴 — "kill the donkey the moment it leaves the millstone" (discard someone once they've served their purpose). Chen Shu accuses his alma mater of ingratitude.