Ch. 252 - As Class President, A Gift for Everyone

"You're goddamn insane!"

The two of them stared wide-eyed, utterly dumbfounded.

The next second, the two exchanged a glance and turned straight around to leave.

"I think we'd be better off just picking some random person to team up with."

"Agreed!"

Everyone else taking the College Entrance Exam hunted fierce beasts the proper way — showing off their strength to earn a good score.

And you, you fucking psycho, wanted to blow up the alternate dimension right from the start?! What the hell would even be left to do?!

Chen Shu immediately chased after them, saying, "Hey, no — I was just joking around."

The two stopped walking. Xie Sunan heaved a sigh and said:

"Chen Pi, we really can't blow it up this time. There's probably five thousand candidates from five cities, and the chief examiner is Gold-rank. The moment you set off an explosion, you can basically start thinking about reincarnation."

Xu Xingxing smacked his own forehead as realization struck him, saying:

"Are you trying to die early so you can reincarnate with a Capital City household registration, so we couldn't outcompete you for three lifetimes?"

"..."

Chen Shu said, speechless: "Oh come on, I was just messing around."

He definitely couldn't go around using the Explosion Potion recklessly — not unless there were special circumstances...

Besides, before the College Entrance Exam he'd reach Black Iron rank, which would be more than enough to steamroll the fierce beasts inside Lieyang Hills.

For the next ten-some days, the three practiced combat separately, recovering their old teamwork.

Time flew by.

June 6th arrived in a flash.

The annual College Entrance Exam day was just around the corner!

Not just all the major high schools — even the entire city had quieted down.

As one of the year's biggest events, people from every level of society nationwide paid extremely close attention.

Nanjiang Second High, Special Training Class classroom.

"Students — tomorrow, the College Entrance Exam's Academic Written Track officially begins!"

Shen Wushuang stepped up to the podium and said gravely: "In the blink of an eye, I've been teaching you for nearly a year now."

The whole class fell silent, and a faint air of parting sorrow settled over them.

"No banquet lasts forever. Your teacher can only walk this stretch of the road with you..."

Everyone's eyes began to redden. Sure, Shen Wushuang was a bit strict, but he was deeply responsible toward every single student — he could genuinely be called a great teacher.

"Teacher..."

Even though they were genius beast tamers, at the end of the day they were still just a bunch of high schoolers — they couldn't control their emotions all that well.

Just as everyone was immersed in the sentimentality, a discordant voice rang out.

"Reporting!"

Chen Shu was standing outside the classroom, a meat baozi hanging from his mouth...

The emotional scene gradually crumbled apart...

"Classmates! Classmates!"

Chen Shu strode right into the classroom, took a bite of his baozi, and said:

"Now that we're about to part ways, as your class president I've never really taken good care of you all. Today, I'm giving everyone a gift!"

Clap clap!

Chen Shu clapped his hands, and Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing walked in, the two of them together hauling a full five steamer trays of steaming baozi...

"Uh... this is..."

The entire class went dead silent. Was this a little too goddamn absurd...

You were seriously handing out meat baozi?!

Chen Shu grinned and declared: "Don't be shy, don't be shy — two big meat baozi per person!"

Seeing no one budge, Chen Shu's face darkened. "You won't give me, Chen Shu, face?"

The moment those words left his mouth, everyone's hearts jolted in alarm. They immediately stood up and started collecting baozi.

Shen Wushuang rubbed his forehead, feeling like his skull was about to split from the headache.

Sure, it was a hundred-million tiny bit absurd, but at least Chen Shu meant well, so Shen Wushuang didn't stop him.

It wasn't like the guy would poison the baozi... wait... was it impossible?

Right now, the twenty-some students in the class lined up and collected two big meat baozi each, one after another.

The first in line, Du Long, even started eating his right on the spot.

"Forget it. Worst case, everyone becomes a Spray Warrior."[1]

Shen Wushuang shook his head and stopped trying to intervene.

Soon, the big meat baozi had all been handed out.

Chen Shu, looking deeply pleased, stepped up to the front of the class and said:

"As the saying goes, courtesy demands reciprocity..."[2]

The second those words came out of his mouth, the entire class's eyes swiveled toward him in unison, a bad feeling welling up inside them.

Some who'd already taken bites froze mid-chew, their expressions locking up...

No way...

But as always, the Nanjiang Bandit was still the Nanjiang Bandit — he did not disappoint!

He cleared his throat and said:

"Since I've already given everyone gifts, wouldn't it be only right for you all to return the favor a little?"

Fuck — they'd been had!

"Don't worry, I'm not picky. Beast Taming Pearls, Lord Materials, high-grade potions — I won't turn any of it down..."

The entire class went dumbstruck. That whole "as class president I never took care of everyone" speech — it was all bullshit!

You were just trying to harvest one last batch of leeks before graduation, weren't you...[3]

"Get off the stage!"

Shen Wushuang shot to his feet. This was just too fucking absurd...

He was literally extorting the entire class right in front of him. Was there no law anymore?! Was there no justice?!

"Wait, Teacher—"

"How much are two meat baozi even worth, and you want to trade them for beast taming materials?! Get down!"

Seeing how stern Shen Wushuang looked, Chen Shu could only return to his seat helplessly.

Xu Xingxing and Xie Sunan exchanged a look and had no choice but to return to their seats as well.

The truth was, Chen Shu hadn't even paid for the baozi...

Because the school was on College Entrance Exam break, the cafeteria had steamed way too many baozi.

Chen Shu, riding his champion status, shamelessly wheedled his way into getting them all for free...

This divine-tier operation had the two of them utterly awestruck.

Such a shame — if not for Shen Wushuang's interference, they would have pulled it off.

Shen Wushuang watched the three leave and breathed a sigh of relief. The College Entrance Exam was tomorrow — they absolutely could not afford any more shenanigans.

He cleared his throat and said:

"Over this past year, I've watched every one of you grow..."

Shen Wushuang was about to deliver the speech he had prepared.

But then he looked down and saw the entire class chomping away on their meat baozi, the earlier atmosphere completely obliterated.

"Forget it, I'm not giving the speech. Just prepare yourselves..."

He'd wanted to rally their morale, but Chen Shu's five steamer trays of baozi had blown his entire plan to pieces.

...

June 7th.

Today was the first day of the College Entrance Exam.

Outside the gates of Nanjiang First High, candidates hurried past.

The area around the school was exceptionally quiet — even the passing cars moved in silence.

At the front of the school stood seven or eight personnel in Spirit Suppression Bureau uniforms, maintaining order at the exam site.

A sunny-looking male student stood at the school gate, a confident smile on his face that couldn't help but inspire trust.

Students passing by all wore expressions of admiration and greeted him one after another.

And right in front of the male student stood a wooden signboard. Written on it:

"Beast Taming Competition Champion, Nanjiang Bandit — Chen Shu!"[4]

The personnel in charge of keeping order at the gate were collectively speechless.

Sure, you were strong, but could you maybe not be so goddamn flashy about it...

"Student Chen Shu, the exam is about to begin..."

Chen Shu looked utterly astonished. "How did you know I'm the Beast Taming Competition champion?"

"???"

The security guard at the gate just turned around and walked off. Oh, forget it — the guy was already completely off the deep end...

[1] 喷射战士 (pēnshè zhànshì): "Spray Warrior" — internet slang for explosive diarrhea (also the Chinese title of Nintendo's Splatoon). Shen Wushuang's callback to Chen Shu's earlier laxative incidents: if the baozi are poisoned, the whole class faces a gastrointestinal apocalypse.

[2] 礼尚往来 (lǐ shàng wǎng lái): A Confucian principle of reciprocity from the Book of Rites — courtesy demands giving and receiving in return. Chen Shu weaponizes this noble concept by handing out free cafeteria baozi (that he didn't even pay for) and immediately demanding expensive beast-taming materials as "reciprocation." The gap between philosophical framing and shameless extortion is the entire joke.

[3] 韭菜 (jiǔcài): Chinese chives. In internet slang, "leeks" (韭菜) are naive victims who get repeatedly "harvested" — chives regrow quickly after cutting, just like fresh marks keep showing up. The classmates realize Chen Shu's parting "gift" is just a pretext to harvest them one last time before graduation. "Cutting leeks" (割韭菜) is ubiquitous Chinese internet slang for exploitation.

[4] XXX是也 (XXX shì yě): The classical Chinese warrior self-introduction format, most famously "I am Zhao Zilong of Changshan!" from Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Chen Shu parodies this by having a wooden signboard at the College Entrance Exam gate announcing himself as "Nanjiang Bandit" — a self-proclaimed criminal title — in the same portentous format. The clash between the classical heroic frame and the absurd modern context is peak Chen Shu.