Chapter 578 - 564: Big Data Divination, Illya’s Unlucky Walk to School—An Iconic Scene!

Chapter 578: Chapter 564: Big Data Divination, Illya’s Unlucky Walk to School—An Iconic Scene!

[ The scene shifts. It has been a day since Illya underwent mitosis to produce Kuro, and Kuro has long since vanished to parts unknown.

Although Illya moonlights as a Magical Girl, even Magical Girls must attend school...

Early in the morning, having been roasted by a televised horoscope claiming she had the absolute worst luck of the day, Illya trudged along the path to school, her face long and her mouth muttering incessantly.

"There’s no need to believe in such fortune-telling. Let a superior Divine Realm impart its wisdom to Illya!"

"Secret Device Number 18: Predicting future events is a piece of cake!"

As she spoke, Magical Ruby suddenly transformed. Two ’antennae’ sprouted from the top of its head, and a Shinto purification wand—the kind specific to shrine maidens—dangled from its side. It was the very picture of professionalism!

Subsequently, Magical Ruby began to mutter to itself on the side: "Modeling the irregularities of phenomena to predict near-future trends based on statistical intelligence."

"Its accuracy is not something a mere television horoscope can compare to, oh no."

"Hey... are you really a magic wand?" Illya’s brain was on the verge of crashing at the sight. ]

[ ..... ]

?Projection of All Worlds?

"We would also like to know the answer to that question. Just how many bizarre functions do you have tucked away, you damn wand!?"

Looking at the ridicule-worthy ’magnetic storm’ antenna apparatus on Magical Ruby’s head, everyone was left dumbfounded.

So, what exactly is this wand?

.....

?A Certain Magical Index World, Academy City?

"Modeling the irregularities of phenomena, and then running statistics..."

Kamijou Touma subconsciously repeated the principles falling from Magical Ruby’s lips. Then, he suddenly froze, his expression solidifying in an instant.

A few seconds later, the corners of his mouth began to twitch, and he retorted with a hint of madness:

"Wait, isn’t that just the principle behind Big Data statistics—?!"

What a combination of science and magic for fortune-telling! Indeed, it cannot be compared to TV horoscopes; it sounds not only mystical but also incredibly scientific!

However... if I ever trust your nonsense again, I’m an idiot!

Listening to Magical Ruby solemnly explaining ’magical principles,’ Kamijou’s face darkened completely.

This was clearly scientific theory!

?Type-Moon World, ██████ Worldline, Chaldea?

"Big Data fortune-telling..."

As the former King of Mage, Solomon, the current Dr. Roman couldn’t help but twitch his lips at the scene.

Da Vinci wore a bitter smile.

"I know now why the Mystery side is gradually dying out. In this day and age, even magic wands are starting to talk science!"

This Magical Ruby is no simple artifact. It actually applies probability theory and scientific statistical principles profoundly. Even a professional scientist would have to admit it’s flawless!

But... you are a product of the Mystery side! Do you really need to be this scientific?

?Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline?

"JUST WHAT ON EARTH DID LORD ZELRETCH CREATE?!!"

Tohsaka Rin tore at her hair, screaming her retort at the sky in frustration.

How is this a magic wand? It’s clearly a highly scientific technological product with a tiny pinch of magecraft added in! Its essence is technology, isn’t it?!

She felt her filter regarding the legendary Wizard Marshal, Lord Zelretch, shatter instantly... He was clearly just a dirty old man with terrible taste!

"I don’t know. All I know is that she may not be a magic wand, but she is certainly a mental-retardation-inducing wand."

Red A, possessing only a high school education, felt he hadn’t read enough books and was falling behind the times.

.....

[ "Zzzzt... It’s here, it’s here! The first forecast has arrived!" The antennae atop Magical Ruby’s head suddenly began to flash with laser light.

Accompanied by the sound of a printer, a sheet of paper was spat out directly from below. Illya reached out and read it: Watch your head!

The very next second, a flowerpot crashed down less than thirty centimeters in front of her.

BANG—!

Illya stared blankly at the ceramic corpse before her eyes.

Then, panic seized her as she looked around frantically. "W-what is with this bonsai?? Where did it fall from?" ]

[ ..... ]

『 Viewers of Countless World 』

"Okay, Magical Ruby, you win. I admit I underestimated you. I didn’t expect you to be a ruthless printing machine as well!"

The audience outside the video was now thoroughly convinced...

Big Data fortune-telling is impressive.

Isn’t this a bit too accurate? She was just a hair’s breadth away from the end credits rolling.

.....

?Type-Moon World, Carnival Phantasm Worldline?

"Speaking of which, in this place where there’s no village ahead and no shop behind, and nothing but blue sky overhead, where did the flowerpot come from?!"

Cu Chulainn, dressed in casual beach shorts and leisurely fishing, retorted speechlessly.

Then, a chill surged through his heart. Bro Cu immediately looked around vigilantly. In a world so full of malice toward him, he couldn’t afford the slightest negligence.

Seeing that nothing happened, he finally relaxed, scratching his head in confusion.

"Strange, why do I have such a big reaction when I see a flowerpot?"

Honestly, he wanted to ask if Illya was selling that wand. It looked like it might be quite useful, at least...

.....

[ "I feel like this is terrifying. Is this really not your prank, Ruby?" Illya’s pace began to quicken. After all, today really did seem a bit unlucky!

"No, no, how could it be?" As it spoke, Magical Ruby’s next forecast emerged: Watch out for speeding cars!

BANG—!!

An unmanned dump truck, speeding at least seventy or eighty kilometers per hour, slammed directly into a lamppost half a meter in front of Illya, emitting a tremendous crash!

"What is it! What is it! What is it!" After two unlucky incidents, Illya began to sprint toward the school.

"The next forecast is: Beware of vicious dogs!"

As soon as the voice fell, four vicious dogs of different breeds burst out from some unknown alleyway and began chasing Illya.

"Don’t you think this is a little strange?!" Even while fleeing in panic, Illya sensed something was wrong. Wasn’t today just a little too unlucky?! ]

[ ..... ]

?Projection of All Worlds?

"A large truck appearing in a residential area? That is clearly the Reincarnation Express to another world!"

"An unmanned truck... if it were Cu-chan, he would have been hit and killed... This invisible attack, it’s a Stand! This is absolutely a Stand attack!"

Watching Illya’s unfortunate encounters, the crowd inexplicably thought of Cu-chan from Carnival Phantasm. This level of bad luck was comparable!

.....

?Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline?

"From a certain perspective, Illya-chan is actually quite lucky. At least she’s tougher than Lancer,"

Tohsaka Rin muttered to herself, watching the scene.

It was clearly the same treatment as Carnival Lancer, but the difference was that Illya managed to brush past the Grim Reaper every time. Her Luck stat was at least not low.

Cu Chulainn, inexplicably mentioned, twitched the corner of his mouth, then pointed at Magical Ruby on the screen.

"There’s a dump truck in an alley like that? Are you sure it’s not that thing’s jinxed mouth?"

"It really seems like it..."

Emiya Shirou, hearing this, suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for Illya on the screen. Should they try making Magical Ruby shut up?

.....

[ However, Illya’s route to school was even more ’elaborate’ than she imagined, because Magical Ruby’s fortune-telling never stopped along the way...

"Um, the next one is—Beware of fire!"

Immediately, a massive explosion erupted on the road.

"Uwah—"

"Beware of water leaks!"

A massive geyser of water shot up from the ground, accompanied by Illya’s scream.

"Ergh—"

"Beware of electric shock!"

Golden lightning appeared on the other side of the road, and unsurprisingly, Illya was hit again.

"YAAAAAAH!!"

Meanwhile, Miyu arrived smoothly at school in the Edelfelt family’s luxury sedan. As soon as she got out, she heard Illya’s call.

"Mi... Miyu..."

She saw a wretched-looking Illya, leaning on a crutch, crawling with difficulty to the school gate. "G... Good morning, and goodbye!"

Seeing that she had finally reached the school, the exhausted Illya’s vision went dark, and she collapsed directly. ]

[ ..... ]

『 Viewers of Countless World 』

"You call that explosion and water column ’fire’ and ’water leaks’?? She’s being targeted! She is absolutely being targeted!"

"No, sister... with such a disastrous road to school, is it really necessary to go?!"

Watching Illya forcefully endure it all, the people in other worlds were stunned. In a short ten-minute walk to school, Illya had experienced more unlucky events than in the first half of her life!

If not for the fact that they were in different worlds, everyone would suspect that the Stand Wonder of U was at work. The current Illya was simply possessed by calamity...

.....

?Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline?

"My poor daughter... Such misfortune!"

Irisviel watched with heart-pounding fear, directly shouting the catchphrase of a certain spiky-haired boy.

The scene before her eyes was simply Final Destination 2.1! Was Final Destination 6 finally being filmed? And the heroine was her own daughter, Illya!

"Tsk, tsk... how should I put it? Is this good luck or bad luck?"

Iskandar watched, clicking his tongue in wonder. To have survived all the way here, it wasn’t easy for this little girl!

To say she was lucky—she was indeed lucky to have survived so many dangerous events...

To say she was unlucky—she was indeed unlucky. Who experiences so many unlucky events in a single day?

It was simply as if she were possessed by a certain Lancer, experiencing every variety of death.

?Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline?

"Is this... the Illya version of the Twelve Labors?"

Cu Chulainn looked at the Illya beside him with utter astonishment.

Are Masters these days so hardcore? They actually have to experience the suffering of a Heroic Spirit!

She had forcefully endured a natural gas explosion, a runaway dump truck, vicious dogs, and inexplicable electric leaks back-to-back... She truly arrived at school amidst sparks and lightning!

"Kamijou Touma’s curse..."

Emiya Shirou suddenly thought of that good-natured person who would choke even when drinking water.

This was simply Kamijou’s daily life.

What a disaster-prone Fuyuki City. Today is another peaceful day. It truly wasn’t easy for Illya to walk to school alive!

.....

( Translator-kun: Again, in this Chapter there’s no child got hurt... )