Chapter 294: Filming the Dreamville Academy anniversary promo

Chapter 294: Chapter 294: Filming the Dreamville Academy anniversary promo

『 [ Doctor Primitive, Member # 64 of the Genius Society. No one knows his real name, but his crimes are known throughout the cosmos. Among them, the most horrific is his Atavism Experiment. ]

[ Before his arrival, the dozens of worlds swept up in his experiments were mostly prosperous interstellar civilizations. After his departure, those planets were left with nothing but devolved intellect. ]

[ Intellitrons deteriorated into mere machines, Zatzkas regressed into birds, and even the most ubiquitous human civilizations were subjected to the same fate: millions of apes and monkeys now wander amidst the ruins that they once called home. ]

[ If Dr. Primitive is indeed behind this, we must alert the Astral Express and The Family at once. We won’t be able to avert this crisis on our own. Facing such an amoral Emanator of Erudition... even the slightest of negligence could bring unimaginable consequences. ]

Dan Heng’s tone was heavy.

If the mastermind behind all this really was Doctor Primitive, then this was a crisis beyond imagination! 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

Venti: "Atavism Experiment?!"

Venti: "Doctor Primitive did all of this just for an experiment?"

Dr. Veritas Ratio: "Naturally! As a genius who caught the gaze of Nous, whatever his motivations may be, they are surely to validate some scientific hypothesis of his."

Zhongli: "But this is utterly devoid of humanity!"

Welt Yang: "A lawless individual like him obviously wouldn’t care about humanity."

Xilonen: "Hundreds of millions of apes wandering in ruins... Just thinking about that image gives me goosebumps!"

Lumine: "That is truly terrifying!"

Lumine: "If that’s the case, the number of lives destroyed by Doctor Primitive must be beyond calculation, right?"

Boothill: "The worlds that fudgehead has Huohuo’d are ruined even more thoroughly than the places where those precious Stellaron of his landed!"

Boothill: "And I don’t need to tell you how many living beings are on a single world, do I?"

Paimon: "That’s terrifying..."

Paimon: "A villain of this caliber has never appeared on Teyvat!"

Nahida: "Paimon, that’s not quite accurate."

Nahida: "Because I believe the term ’villain’ is far from enough to describe Doctor Primitive."

....

『 [ A perfectly correct analysis. ]

[ But in this one’s humble opinion, now is not the time to seek aid from the Harmony’s administration. ]

[ As the "Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions" say: ’Cast a net to catch fish, but the fish may break the net.’ ]

[ The Evil Ninja Osaru has yet to reveal himself. Both enemy and ally remain in the shadows; it is unwise to beat the tree and startle the monkey. ]

[ This one has already commissioned His Highness the Silvergun Shura to venture deep into the forbidden zone to scout the situation. ]

[ Rest assured, His Highness the Silvergun Shura is a peerless grand ninja hero. He will surely complete the mission. ]

[ As for us... what is more important right now is the lives of the ninja disciples in Paperfold University. ]

[ They do not have the strength to bind a monkey. As ninja heroes, if we do not save those right before our eyes, how can we save the world? ]

Rappa proposed that they must first find a way to save the people!

[ Yes, indeed, we cannot ignore the safety of the students. ]

Dan Heng nodded, agreeing with Rappa’s reasoning.

[ Oh, I’ve finally found you, my dear actors! ]

Just then, a voice came from not far away.

[ Could it be... the Ninja Gama? ]

Rappa looked toward the voice and found that the newcomer was actually Reca.

[ Oh! This actor’s lines are truly interesting. ] 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

Stelle: "Are we really not going to reconsider asking the Family for help?"

Stelle: "With just the few of us, if Doctor Primitive is really here, the chances of us wiping out are huge!"

Stelle: "Uwah, I don’t want to be turned into a monkey!"

March 7th: "You, of all people, aren’t you supposed to be fearless?"

March 7th: "You weren’t even afraid of fighting the Dominicus, so why are you afraid of Doctor Primitive?"

Stelle: "The Dominicus only made me daydream, but Doctor Primitive is different."

Stelle: "He wants to turn me into a monkey!"

Stelle: "And this guy sounds like a total schemer. Who knows if he’s plotting against us right now."

Qingque: "True. The most troublesome enemies are the ones lurking in the shadows, stirring up trouble."

Qingque: "Like a venomous snake, you never know when it’ll jump out and bite you. It keeps you on edge and is impossible to guard against."

Himeko Murata: "Don’t worry. From all the current clues, there is a very high probability that Doctor Primitive is indeed not here."

Boothill: "What’s there to fear about him, for Wubbaboo’s sake?"

Boothill: "Even if he’s an Emanator, if we all jump him together, we can bite off a few chunks of his flesh even if we die!"

Stelle: "I’m not afraid of dying. I’m just afraid of turning into a monkey."

Stelle: "And even more afraid of being sold after turning into a monkey."

Silver Wolf: "No worries. If you really get turned into a monkey, I’ll buy you back."

Silver Wolf: "Don’t worry, Hotaru will take good care of you. (smug.png)"

Hotaru: "Ah... but I don’t have any experience raising baby monkeys?"

Stelle: "Damn it, thank you so much, Silver Wolf! (angry.png)"

Furina de Fontaine: "I can well understand Miss Stelle’s worries. Turning into a monkey is indeed hard to accept."

Furina de Fontaine: "By the way, why did Mr. Reca suddenly show up?"

Paimon: "And why did Miss Rappa call him a ’Gama’ something ninja??"

Rappa: "It is the Ninja Gama."

Hu Tao: "That’s a weird name, it’s a bit hard to understand."

Dan Heng: "What she meant to say was probably the Ninja Gama?"

Dan Heng: "Probably because of the assistant director next to Mr. Reca..."

Lumine: "Uh... but isn’t that a frog?"

Reca: "Ha, what a novel form of address."

....

『 [ Mr. Reca? ]

[ Is there something we can help you with? ]

Dan Heng looked at Mr. Reca and asked in confusion.

[ Ah, yes. Charmony Academy is filming a promotional video for their anniversary, but the BananAdvisor hasn’t found anyone who makes the cut. That’s why I’m here: to recruit students with greater acting potential— ]

[ Like you, a spectacular talent with a brilliant past! ]

[ And you, a superstar in the spotlight! ]

[ And this one... an actor with immense personality! ]

[ Please, you must grace us with your performance! ]

[ After all, the Charmony BananAdvisor is one of the creators of the Slumbernana Monkey. Only young talents like yourselves can satisfy her discerning eye. ]

Mr. Reca looked at everyone warmly, inviting them to participate in the filming.

[ ... ]

[ Understood. ]

[ Thank you for the recommendation, Mr. Reca. We will go take a look. ]

Dan Heng remained silent for a moment before nodding in agreement to Reca.

[ That’s the spirit! ]

[ The class is in the photography classroom. See you in a bit. ]

Reca turned and left. 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

March 7th: "Things are already so urgent, and Mr. Reca is still thinking about filming?"

Reca: "Haha, Miss March 7th, that’s not quite right."

Reca: "I am a director by trade. Filming is my primary job."

Furina de Fontaine: "Mr. Reca is also a mysterious Memokeeper. Could it be that you really haven’t noticed that there’s something wrong with the Charmony BananAdvisor?"

Reca: "Well... frankly speaking, I am highly likely aware of it."

Stelle: "And you’re still working for the Charmony BananAdvisor??"

Reca: "It might not be working for them. Perhaps it’s just a temporary mutual benefit?"

Lumine: "Just now, Mr. Reca said that the Charmony BananAdvisor is one of the creators of the Slumbernana Monkey!"

Lumine: "Was that a deliberate hint to Mr. Dan Heng and the others?"

Dan Heng: "It seems so."

Dan Heng: "It looks like Mr. Reca in the video knows quite a lot."

Hu Tao: "Mr. Reca is starting to feel more and more like Miss Black Swan was before."

Hu Tao: "It seems like he’s deliberately guiding them..."

Black Swan: "(bitter_smile.jpg)"

....

『 [ Presumably, this Charmony BananAdvisor is also an accomplice of the mastermind. ]

[ Furthermore, I have a feeling that Mr. Reca is not as simple as he seems. ]

Watching Reca’s departing figure, Dan Heng’s expression was grave.

[ This one shares the same feeling. ]

[ The Ninja Hiryu is indeed meticulous in thought. ]

Rappa deeply agreed with Dan Heng’s words.

Afterward, the three of them discussed it and decided to head to the photography classroom to investigate.

[ Nana, Bananana! ]

Upon arriving at the photography classroom, the three saw that filming was underway.

The Nanabloom-chan they had met earlier was performing as a Slumbernana Monkey in front of the backdrop.

[ Fail, fail-nana. ]

[ You haven’t captured even fifty percent of the Slumbernana Monkey’s laziness, thirty percent of its cuteness, and twenty percent of its playfulness-nana. ]

Charmony BananAdvisor watched Nanabloom-chan’s performance intently and couldn’t help but scold loudly in anger! 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

March 7th: "Isn’t that student Nanabloom-chan?"

March 7th: "So she’s from the Charmony Academy?"

Mualani: "She’s performing as a Slumbernana Monkey??"

Mualani: "But it doesn’t really look like it..."

Li Sushang: "How is a human supposed to perform as a monkey?"

Guinaifen: "That’s easy! Just imitate a monkey’s expressions, movements, and behavior!"

Guinaifen: "Sushang, haven’t you ever seen a monkey show?"

Guinaifen: "I’ll perform one for you another day!"

Stelle: "This Charmony BananAdvisor looks a bit familiar. Isn’t that the dinosaur-styled Sweet Dreams Troupe?"

Stelle: "But why is its head a television set?"

Silver Wolf: "Penacony’s unique abstract collage art."

Silver Wolf: "It’s seriously ugly!"

Hotaru: "This Charmony BananAdvisor has such high standards..."

Hotaru: "To actually demand someone to perform fifty percent laziness, thirty percent cuteness, and twenty percent playfulness of a Slumbernana Monkey..."

Hotaru: "This is even harsher than the previous SoulGlad Scorchsand Audition Venue!"

Qingque: "Lmao, to reach the level of performance it’s talking about, I’m afraid one would literally have to turn into a Slumbernana Monkey."

Fu Xuan: "You hit the nail on the head. That is probably exactly what it is thinking."

....

『 [ Charmony BananAdvisor, I’ve already done my best—but playing a monkey is just too hard! ]

Nanabloom-chan scratched her head, feeling a bit discouraged.

[ Sigh, what a disappointment to monkeys. Perhaps we should change actors. Without a burning love for little monkeys, no amount of acting skills will do-nana. ]

Charmony BananAdvisor couldn’t watch any longer and prepared to recast.

[ Charmony BananAdvisor, we have a few candidate actors here. I wonder if they can meet your requirements? ]

Reca pointed at Stelle and the other two, calling out to Charmony BananAdvisor.

[ Pick me! I absolutely love little monkeys! ]

Stelle volunteered herself, claiming to be a fanatical lover of Slumbernana Monkeys!

[ Oh, they look like they have decent potential. ]

[ Nana-nana-nana, I hope you won’t disappoint this BananAdvisor. ]

Charmony BananAdvisor sized up the three of them and found them to be quite suitable.

[ Hmm... is this evil entity before us a dragon or a monkey? ]

Rappa looked at the Charmony BananAdvisor’s strange body and asked bluntly.

[ Monkey—no, I mean, I’m Charmony BananAdvisor! ] 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

Paimon: "Miss Rappa really speaks so bluntly."

Paimon: "Fortunately, these Charmony BananAdvisors aren’t quite normal themselves, so they didn’t mind."

Qingque: "Stelle has suddenly become a fanatical lover of Slumbernana Monkeys now?"

Qingque: "Aren’t you a Clockie loyalist?"

Stelle: "Flexibly changing one’s identity depending on the occasion is an essential skill for a Nameless!"

Asta: "That sounds more like an essential skill for a secret agent."

March 7th: "So next, you guys are going to act as monkeys?"

March 7th: "I’m not worried about Stelle, but Miss Rappa and Dan Heng, can you two really pull it off?"

Dan Heng: "Forget acting as a Slumbernana Monkey, I can’t even act as a normal character."

Dan Heng: "But there’s no choice. In this situation, we can only take it one step at a time."

Rappa: "This one is also not well-versed in the performance ninja arts!"

Rappa: "But I shall do my best!"

Stelle: "Don’t worry, with a superstar of the festival like me leading you, we’re guaranteed to make this Charmony BananAdvisor’s jaw drop!"

....

『 [ It’s so nice to be chosen by Mr. Reca... ]

Standing to the side, Nanabloom-chan looked at Stelle and the other two with an expression full of envy.

[ Please trust the eye of a professional director. ]

[ Actors, take your scripts, and let the Bananacher see your talents. ]

Reca handed the scripts to the three of them.

Then, the three began to read carefully. 』

『 ....』

—?Omniscient Viewer’s Chat Lodge?—

March 7th: "Dreamlight Anniversary Promotional Video: The Legend of Slumbernana Monkey?"

March 7th: "What a simple name."

Paimon: "The story in the script takes place during Paperfold University’s campus festival..."

Paimon: "A Memory Zone Meme named ’Stress’ appears on campus, obstructing the festival and leaving all the students frowning in despair."

Paimon: "Then, a brave Slumbernana Monkey steps forward, wielding its Banana Sacred Sword, and embarks on a journey to defeat the Stress Demon King?"

Lumine: "What a cliché story. It feels no different from a fairy tale."

Furina de Fontaine: "The script was written by Charmony BananAdvisor."

Furina de Fontaine: "I mean... is this really its level of writing?"

Reca: "Naturally, you can’t expect a so-called Charmony BananAdvisor who doesn’t understand art to write a masterpiece comparable to Clockie!"

Reca: "Being able to write a somewhat normal fairy tale is already considered decent in my eyes."

Dan Heng: "Well, the good news is that the lines are quite simple. It shouldn’t be hard to perform."

March 7th: "Simple indeed... the lines for that hero monkey are literally just ’nana-nana-nana’ the whole way!"

March 7th: "Isn’t this a bit too lazy?"

Qingque: "Isn’t the Stress Demon King the most tragic one?"

Qingque: "The Charmony BananAdvisor didn’t even bother to write lines for it!"

Stelle: "Unbelievable, I’ve never seen such a lazy, terrible script!"

Stelle: "Making a grand superstar of Penacony like me act in this?"

Stelle: "Isn’t this ruining my reputation?!"

Stelle: "Tsk, looks like I’ll have to improvise!"

....

『 [ Wait, this script is so lazy. Why is it just the little monkey making noises? ]

[ And why aren’t there any lines written for the antagonist? ]

After reading the script, Stelle couldn’t help but complain.

[ Because except for the Slumbernana Monkey, no other characters are important-nana. ]

Charmony BananAdvisor answered Stelle’s question, leaving the latter speechless.

[ Alright, let’s assign the roles. ]

[ First, the main character, the Brave Monkey... ]

Reca pondered the choice of actor for the Brave Monkey.

[ Mr. Reca, I... I want to try one more time! ]

Nanabloom-chan suddenly spoke up.

[ Nana-nana-nana, student, your performance just now was quite disappointing. ]

Charmony BananAdvisor was very unsatisfied with Nanabloom-chan.

[ It’s fine. Let’s give this proactive actor one last chance. Coincidentally, the Brave Monkey is also a proactive character. ] 』

『 ....』