Chapter 176: Confession and Bad Memories

POV Eliza

The next few days were very uncomfortable for me. Betty was silent the whole time, and I couldn’t tell if she was offended or angry. Because of the tense atmosphere, Duke and Bishop were also tight-lipped and went out of their way to avoid both of us. That wasn’t very easy, since—except when we were out riding—we were together in a confined space. We could only escape that closeness during our breaks by moving away from the others. Betty took her food, sat down at the edge of the circle of light, and ate in silence. The whole time, she kept watching me. Afterward, she went straight to our tent and lay down to sleep. She didn’t say a word there either.

After three days, Duke spoke to me. Betty was sitting at the edge again, watching us.

“Listen, Leo. Don’t you think it’s about time you talked to her? Neither of us can stand watching this anymore.” Duke

“I’d do it right away, but what am I supposed to say? I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Eliza

“Seriously, Leo? You can’t really be that blind and oblivious. Or have you really not noticed what’s going on with Betty yet?” Duke

“What do you mean, Duke?” Eliza

“Sigh, she’s jealous, Leo. You were talking about your past love, and it was obvious that you’re far from having forgotten that person. She doesn’t like that at all. Plus, she’s really scared.” Duke

“Of course I’ve noticed her feelings for me, I'm not that oblivious, but I’m very inexperienced when it comes to romance and have a hard time telling whether it’s just friendship or something more. After all, I’ve hidden my own feelings for years and kept things strictly platonic. But you mentioned fear. Why is that?” Eliza

“Don’t you really get it? She’s afraid that you’ll disappear just as suddenly as you appeared. We don’t know anything about your past, so we don’t know who might be looking for you. Betty’s been through a lot of heartbreak, and I can tell you that even though she doesn’t talk about it much. You can tell just by looking at her. And then you show up out of nowhere, and Betty was fascinated by you from the very beginning. She immediately felt a connection with you and trusted you right away. It’s understandable that she’d be afraid if you left and left her behind.” Duke

“I can totally understand all that, but I’m really unsure about what to do. I’m still stuck in my past, and I feel it’s unfair to Betty if I don’t take her feelings seriously. That’s why I’m torn and undecided.” Eliza

“You’re just a coward, Leo. You said before that it’s almost impossible for your past to catch up with you. So why are you hesitating? If you keep this up, you’ll never experience love. And that would be a real shame. I can assure you, you’re missing out on a lot. Even if it’s just for a year and you break up afterward, it’s still better than never experiencing it at all. Even though breakups are hard and painful, they turn out to be valuable experiences later on. Trust me, I’ve been through something like that myself, and I’m still happy about it. Because that’s how I met Bishop, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been before. Think carefully about what you’re doing, but at least keep Betty’s feelings in mind. She’s a dear friend, and I want her to find happiness, too. In any case, the current situation isn’t good—it’s unbearable. And here’s another tip—or rather, a hunch. Betty is someone who values harmony, and I think she’s not talking to you right now because she doesn’t know how to handle the situation with you. It’s quite possible that she regrets her behavior but is afraid you’re mad at her. Cheer up, Leo—it’ll all work out.” Duke

Duke patted me on the shoulder and walked over to Bishop. Betty was nowhere to be seen, so I guess I’d just have to wait until tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the next morning didn’t present an opportunity to talk to her either. But that was actually a good thing, because I needed to gather my courage first, and that way I was able to come up with a strategy as the day went on. The chance came around noon during our break. There was a small stream nearby where we could get water for the horses. It was Betty’s turn, and she grabbed two water hoses.

“I’ll help you get the water.” Eliza

Betty seemed surprised, but didn’t say anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the two men smiling, and Duke gave a thumbs-up. I grabbed two water hoses as well and followed her.

A short time later, we reached the stream and began filling the leather bags. We spent the first minute in silence, but then both started talking at the same time.

“Listen, Leo.” Betty

“You must know, Betty.” Eliza

We fell silent and looked at each other. Then I spoke first.

“Are you mad at me, Betty?” Eliza

“What makes you think that? Why would I be mad at you?” Betty

“Because you just stare at me intently and don’t say a word. Plus, you’re avoiding me. Of course I’m going to think you’re mad at me.” Eliza

“Sigh, no, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. As much as I was personally happy for you that part of your memory had returned, the story about your former love really scared me. You know, Leo, you’ve stirred up feelings in me that I’d buried deep inside for a long time. Will you listen to a story from me?” Betty

I immediately realized how serious this was to her and moved closer. Betty sat down on a rock and waited until I sat down next to her. Then she began to speak softly. About her past. How, as a teenager, she fell in love with an older, handsome man who showered her with compliments and small gifts. How, at 14, she ran away with him and followed him to a big city in the north of the Free City-States. How his behavior changed abruptly once they got there. How he told her about financial problems and asked her to help him. That help consisted of providing special services to other men. Just thinking about it turned my stomach, and I almost threw up. As a “thank you” for Betty’s efforts, he took another girlfriend. When Betty confronted him about it, he simply replied that she should be glad she could bring joy to men with her beauty. She was too young for him anyway, and he’d been planning to get rid of her all along. As a final “thank you,” he’d sold her to a brothel.

So she resigned herself to her fate. For several years, she patiently endured the humiliations she faced in the cheap brothel, devoid of any joy in life. But one day, she mustered her courage and approached a man on the street who looked like a priest. There were few members of the church in the city, and she hoped that this man might be able to help her. The fact that he was walking down the street holding hands with another man, seemingly very intimately, gave her particular hope.

“And that’s how I met Bishop and Duke. They took me in right away and hid me. Since I didn’t own anything of value anyway except my clothes, I had nothing to lose. That very same night, we left the city and traveled south. Along the way, the two of them had a hard time breaking me out of my shell, but they succeeded—at least partially. Still, I had left the whole issue of love and sexuality behind me. Or so I thought, I must say now, because right from our very first encounter, I felt drawn to you. But it wasn’t until our conversation about your past love that it became clear to me that it was more than that.

I completely overreacted and behaved outrageously. I’m sorry. Afterward, I didn’t know how to apologize because I was consumed by shame. But it’s not your fault at all. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please forgive me.” Betty

Betty bowed her head to me and kept her eyes down. I, on the other hand, was visibly shocked—not so much by the confession of love Betty had just made to me, but rather by how someone could treat and exploit a 14-year-old’s feelings so callously. The young girl was just looking for love and affection, and all she got was violence and humiliation. I estimated Betty to be about 20, so she must have endured it for at least five years. If Duke and Bishop hadn’t happened to be passing through town and hadn’t happened to look like a couple, Betty wouldn’t have found the courage and would still be trapped in that brothel. I didn’t know right away how to handle the situation, but I knew I had to do or say something right then. I owed that to Betty, after she’d opened her heart to me and revealed her terrible past of her own accord. I had no words, so I did the only thing that came to mind and took her in my arms. I held her close to me.

Betty let out a startled squeak, but then she hugged me too and started crying. She cried for several minutes until her tears slowly dried up. Even so, she didn’t let go of me afterward. She seemed very happy about my physical closeness. You could clearly tell by her tail. Over the past few days, it had either hung limply or been permanently stiff. Now it was moving vigorously back and forth. Betty then looked at me and noticed my gaze, which was directed past her. She turned her head and noticed her tail. She was startled, pushed me away from her, and covered her face with her hands. Then she turned around and headed back to the camp.

I watched her go, feeling a bit at a loss. My mind was in complete chaos right then. I was very glad that she obviously didn’t hate me. But I hadn’t expected to receive a confession of affection. Lost in thought, I gathered up all the water hoses, including the ones Betty had left behind when she ran off. On the way back to camp, I had plenty of time to think, and when I arrived at camp, I saw Duke and Bishop grinning widely. They pointed at our tent but didn’t say a word.