Chapter 87

Linoleum transitioned to stone, and then to snow as Sophia propelled herself out of the cabin.  Fresh mountain air displaced stale, noxious air in her lungs. Scents of the forest and mountains became dominant, while those of human habitation faded. The clicking of her claws and scraping of her pads were replaced by the relative silence of the night. Cold air rippled through the thick pelt covering her back and shoulders. 

Any other time, she would have gladly lost herself in the simple pleasure of being alive.

I hope Candice is able to get some sleep; she certainly deserves it.

She ran until she was sure she couldn’t be seen from the cabin.

Focus, Sophia, you don’t have much time. She slowed to a trot and then padded behind some brush. How am I going to find Shadow? Where even am I?

She stopped and folded her legs under her, taking in the moonlit landscape. Her relatively unfurred lower limbs started to chill immediately in the icy snow, but much like the full moon a month prior, it didn’t particularly bother her. However, the stiffening of eight points along her front and the caress of the cold across her nethers provided a pointed reminder of her feral condition.

Heh, Dad would probably have an aneurysm if he knew I was like this. Her tail wagged as naughty excitement ran through her. Knowing I want to spend the rest of my life this way certainly would… Dang it, I’m letting myself get distracted again.

She raised her small snout and sniffed the air intently. Scents flooded in, and so did the temptation to explore the more interesting ones. However, she pushed those desires aside and searched for anything she recognized.

I probably should have asked Candice where we were. Please let there be something that can help…

Unfortunately, there was no sign of Shadow, town, or anything else that might have oriented her. The scents of the trees, animals, and landscape were completely unfamiliar.

No! Damn it!

All she could find was the remnants of Candice’s scent from when Patty had dropped her off.

Wait, the car! She sniffed again, easily discerning the mix of odors left by Patty’s car. I can use that to follow the road towards town!

Elated, she jumped back onto all four and trotted towards the driveway, making sure to keep out of the cabin’s line of sight. Lowering her nose, she sniffed at the tire tracks, memorizing the distinct aromatic signature of the rubber that had left them. To her mild surprise, she found she could distinguish the distinct trips Patty had made over the last few days by how much they had faded.  

That should be easy enough to follow, but I need to leave a scent trail of my own to get back here. Hopefully, I’m not too dehydrated. Padding a few steps away from the driveway, she selected a tree, lifted a leg, and managed to produce a small trickle. That’ll have to do. She bent down to check her mark. It’s strong enough, but I’m going to need to leave more than one, and I’m parched as it is. I don’t smell any water nearby…

Thankfully, instinct supplied a potential solution. Finding some snow that didn’t have too many strange smells in it, she stuck her face in it and ate as much as she could handle.

Hopefully that’ll be enough… Definitely not something I’m making a habit of.

She trotted back to the driveway, double-checked her mark was easily detectable, and then took off.

Shadow, I’m coming!

The driveway joined a road after a dozen or so yards, and Sophia took up a steady trot parallel to it as it snaked through the hilly forest. Periodically, other driveways branched off into the trees, but most showed no sign of recent use. In fact, the smells left by the scant few other vehicles appeared to have been days old. Still, she kept close to the treeline, ready to dash off into the cover of the forest at the first sign of an approaching car.

None appeared, and some time later, the road joined with a more heavily traveled road. Fortunately, she had no trouble picking out the unique scents that identified Patty’s car from the other vehicles. So, she quickly deposited a mark, and then continued along the new road at a pace that was belied by her awkward physiology, although it was starting to dawn on her just how much she had bitten off.

How long have I been going? Her tongue lolled from her mouth as her heart pounded furiously. I don’t even know how long it took to get to the cabin; I could still be hours away!

The dread that had begun as a low simmer when she had started her search had risen to a low boil. Increasing fatigue and hunger were taking their toll and slowing her movements. So much so that when she came across a young rabbit that had the misfortune of attempting to cross the road in the path of an oncoming vehicle, Sophia couldn’t resist.

Only a few hours old. She cringed at the smell of asphalt and rubber on the rabbit’s broken body. Gross, but I don’t have much of a choice.

After instinctively checking for other scavengers that might covet her prize, she grabbed its broken neck with her jaws and carried it into the trees. Fifteen minutes later, she regretfully left the sizeable remains she couldn’t consume behind and returned to the road.

Definitely better fresh, and there wasn’t a lot under the fur, but it’ll hopefully be enough for the rest of the night. Ignoring her desire to find somewhere to curl up and let her body process the meal, she pushed her protesting muscles to resume working. 

Miles accumulated, and the time until morning dwindled. At some point, she became absorbed by the rhythm of her ‘paws’ striking the ground; she imagined she could feel Shadow’s presence, calling her, drawing her to him. Despite knowing it had to be a figment, it comforted her, gave her strength to continue, so she indulged it.

Wait, what happened to Patty’s car? She stumbled as an unpleasant recognition snapped out of her reverie. I can’t smell it!

Panicking, she slowed and then ran into the road with her nose down, desperately trying to locate the only guidance she had. A few of the vehicle smells were familiar from the other road, but none were the one she was looking for. To make matters even worse, she could somehow tell the scents of the night had nearly peaked and would soon be replaced by those of the approaching dawn.

It’s not here!!! How could I have lost it??? She whined as she looked back the way she had come. How long have I been following the wrong road??? 

Not knowing what else to do, she started running as fast as her hybrid limbs could carry her.

If it’s not too far, I can still find Shadow… She only made it a few dozen yards before her eyes registered the glow of oncoming headlights. Crap!Two-legs! A moment later, the smell of an oncoming vehicle reached her. I have to get off the road!

Panicking, she changed direction so fast that she nearly tripped over her own hand-paws. Half-running, half-tumbling, she managed to reach the treeline just as the headlights of a large truck illuminated where she had been moments before.

That was too… 

The land dropped unexpectedly, her stride lost all cohesion, and she found herself sliding down an embankment. She flailed wildly as she slid, frantically trying to dig her claws into the snow. Unfortunately, her momentum was too great, and the snow too loose, and she could only roughly steer around trees and rocks until the escarpment started to level out. Her pumping limbs carried her forward another few yards as she struggled to stay upright before she was able to regain control. Quickly pivoting, she looked up at where she had fallen.

Shit!No! Horror swallowed her, and she whined plaintively. No! No! No!

The incline was steep, too steep to quickly get back up, even with claws.

Shadow… Her nose burned from the acrid exhaust left by the passing truck. I’m sorry… Exhausted, she collapsed into the snow. I couldn’t make it.

She lay there, shaking and gasping for breath, her entire body sore. Cold from the snow seeped into the still sparsely furred parts of her, causing her to shiver.

Maybe, if I’m fast, I can get back to Candice in time. I can still find Shadow later this week; I hope. Half-heartedly, she moved her limbs back under her, pushed herself back up, wobbled, and then collapsed back into the snow. Too tired… Too hungry…

With the last of her fading strength, she pushed herself onto her side and curled into a ball.

Well, I wanted to live the rest of my life as a wolf; looks like I’m getting my wish. She licked absently at some snow that stuck to the fur on her right knee. While I’m wishing, I wish I could feel Shadow’s fur tangling with mine one last time, or even just experience his scent again.

She took a deep inhale through her nose without consciously meaning to. Inwardly shrugging, she closed her eyes and focused on the world it revealed. Through the scents of the forest, the road, and her own, she imagined she could smell his musk. A thrill ran through her as she pictured how it had complemented her own, its very presence making her feel complete.

I must be doing worse than I realized; for a second there, I thought I could actually smell him. She lifted her head to get a clearer read, ready to have the absurdity shattered. No, it couldn’t be…

Her ears and tail flattened as she focused all of her attention on her nose, then they both shot straight up in shock.

I don’t believe it! That is his scent! Well, his mark; where is it coming from?

Her heart soaring, energy she didn’t know she had flowed into her limbs, and she pushed herself back onto all fours. Without thinking about it, she shook her body, her strangely loose skin sending snow flying from her fur in all directions.  When she realized what she had just done, she chuffed.

Heh, that was fun!

With a few quick sniffs, she zeroed in on Shadow’s scent and bounded towards it. After a couple dozen yards, she found the source at the base of a large tree. Her heart sang while her tail wagged excitedly as she greedily absorbed it.

It’s a few days old, but it’s his mark, alright! This is our territory! Then, her tail stilled. He smells… sad, depressed, almost. He hadn’t eaten in days. She lowered her head while her ears drooped as guilt clawed at her. Was it because of… me?

Sophia closed her eyes and whined softly. The wind sent a shiver up her spine from her sparsely furred stomach and limbs. She rode the wave of grief, guilt, and regret until it ebbed fully.

Well, I’m here, and I’ll never leave you again. She opened her eyes and angled her lower body downwards, opening her airway. We can make everything right.

Raising her head, she opened her jaw, took a deep breath, and then howled as loudly as she could. 

‘I’m here, my mate! Answer me, my love!’

As she sang, she added her own inflections to the composition, creating a melody that was hers and hers alone. The howl echoed through the trees, telling the world its tale of love, pain, sadness, and hope. She put everything she could into it and only stopped when she had no breath left to expend. 

After recovering, she raised her ears and listened intently. 

Seconds ticked by, and then a whole minute, but there was only silence. Her heart thudded anxiously as she fought deepening dread.

Maybe he’s too far to hear me?

Again, she made her call, and again she was met with… nothing.

Why won’t he answer me? She shivered again as fear grew, and the faint tingling that heralded her inevitable transformation began to play across her skin. Is he okay? He wouldn’t have gone with his mother… would he?

Not knowing what else to do, she turned, raised her leg, and added her mark next to his. The combination of their scents buoyed her flagging spirit.

I have to have faith. She sniffed the air and then took off towards another mark left by her mate. We’ll find each other; we always do.

Soon, she had checked that mark, and then another, but they were all several days old. Her search became increasingly frantic as the tingle from receding lunar magic intensified – as did the intensity of her hunger.

Where is he? After climbing a ridge, she howled again, this one forlorn and desperate. He has to be here!

Then, her limbs shaking from exertion as she descended from the hill, she smelt it.

The scent was weak, but it was fresh, and definitely Shadow’s. It came and went with the shifting currents of the air disturbed by the heat of approaching sunlight, but it was there. Ignoring her burning muscles, she pushed herself towards it. For a time, she lost it as she descended below the trees and hills, but she knew its direction, and her determination was rewarded when she picked it up again.

Finally, she found the trail.

It’s only a few hours old! She sniffed at the trail gleefully as hope rekindled, but then she was confronted by a reality she had been trying to ignore. And his mother was with him.

The scent of the older wolf was unmistakable, and there was a quality to it that Sophia could only describe as self-satisfaction. Shadow’s, in contrast, broke Sophia’s heart.

His smell is so defeated, depressed. Her ears and tail drooped. And he still hasn’t been eating. Oh, Shadow, what are you doing to yourself?

She sniffed along the trail in the snow, trying to determine what direction they had been headed.

This doesn’t make any sense; they just keep going this way. Her chest felt like it was imploding as she trotted along their trail. He wouldn’t leave our territory, would he?

But their scent trail just kept going, well beyond the outer limits of his territorial markings.

No. Sophia’s legs gave out as she was forced to acknowledge her worst fear had been realized. He’s gone… He’s given up…

Whines spilled from her freely now.

It’s all my fault… I pushed him away, didn’t believe in him. Let his mother push us apart. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I give him a chance to explain? His scent taunted her now, tore at her more deeply than teeth or claws ever could. Please come back! I love you!

She lay in the snow, crying tearlessly, mourning what she had lost. For how long, she did not know. Finally, her anguish subsided, leaving only exhausted numbness behind.

How much longer do I have? The tingling now felt like electricity coursing across her body. Maybe an hour?I can smell a road nearby; I could try to make it to it. If I survive changing, someone might find me before I freeze to death.

Bringing her limbs under her, she painfully pushed herself up. She turned in the direction of the road, readied her body for the lonely trek, raised her hand-paw…

No, I can’t do it. 

She stood there, her front limb hovering above the snow. 

I have to; I’ll die for sure if I don’t. Even if I find Shadow, I’ll freeze.

Her heart thrummed as she stood there, unable to will herself to continue forward. Something, deep within her, still pulled her in the direction Shadow had gone.

I don’t care; he’s my mate, I love him, and we belong together.

Slowly, she put her hand-paw back in the snow.

Whether that’s in life…

She turned her body back in the direction her love had gone, knowing full well there would be no one to find her.

… Or in death.

Energy from reserves she didn’t know she had flowed into her exhausted muscles, and she took off, running as fast as she dared.

Shadow! I’m coming!