Chapter 71

“Dinner, yeah, that sounds good,” Candice agreed. “I suppose I already know the answer to what you want.” She made a forced-sounding chuckle and stroked her chin. “Although I’m considering whether to just let you eat Lynn. The idea has a certain appeal to it…”

“Eh, she doesn’t have enough meat on her to be worthwhile,” Sophia demurred, shaking her head. “She’d be really bony and stringy, and she probably doesn’t taste very good.”

It’s good that wolves don’t have a taste for humans. Sophia shivered at the thought. The very idea makes me feel ill.

“Fair point,” Candice conceded in mock disappointment. “I guess she can be sweet sometimes, too; like, she helped me clean up glitter when I accidentally spilled a jar a couple of weeks ago. Or when she was helping Mom with Christmas dinner. And she did let you have her room during…” Her voice caught. “You know.”

When my mother died. A burning smell seemed to permeate the room as unwelcome memories bubbled up. That was the last time I was in Candice’s room, too.

“Yeah, she did do that,” Sophia agreed distantly.

Sophia, Mom was in an accident… She didn’t make it.

“Uh, I didn’t mean to…” Candice stammered, touching Sophia’s arm sympathetically. “I shouldn’t have reminded you of that.”

Her car was found rolled at the bottom of an embankment.

Sophia brought her own hand up to Candice’s and squeezed it gently.

Wolfess of Many Scents, will you be my life mate?

“I’m okay,” Sophia assured her, forcing a smile. “But Lynn is definitely not on the menu!”

Why did the mention of my mother make me think of Shadow? Grief gave way to intense longing for the wolf.

“So, we need some place with a lot of meat, I assume,” Candice said, very clearly happy to change the subject. “Well, there’s still that new burger place we were planning to eat at last week,” she suggested and walked over to her desk. “I think they deliver, and we can order online.”

I’m with Candice right now; I need to focus on being human. Fighting the desire to get back on all fours, Sophia followed her friend. Besides, switching back and forth is exhausting.

“Burgers sound good,” Sophia agreed aloud.

Candice took a seat and opened up her laptop. Immediately, it powered up, and the smell of warm electronics and plastic filled the space.

Her laptop is so quiet compared to mine. I’m jealous.

After a bit of clicking, Candice had the online order menu up.

“So, what do you want?” She asked. “I’ve heard good things about their smash burgers. You can build your own, but they have some pre-made options too.”

“Do they have bacon?” Sophia inquired, trying to read the screen over her friend’s shoulder.

Candice chortled. “What kind of burger place wouldn’t have bacon?” She continued to scroll. “I think I’ll have the house special with caramelized onions, lettuce, and tomato. That sounds good.”

I wonder if I’d be able to recognize her scent on its own? Sophia’s attention drifted towards investigating the air around her friend’s shoulders, hair, and neck. Hmm, there’s mostly her fleece and deodorant – and strawberry, of course – but I think I detect her smell beneath them. She leaned closer, trying to tease out the girl’s unique signature amidst the smell of her clothes. Bleh, she must have applied her deodorant recently. Shifting slightly, she bent towards an out-of-place odor in one particular spot on the other girl’s fleece pullover. There’s something on her clothes there; I’ll clean it off for her. Sticking her tongue out, she quickly lapped at the spot, catching a loose bit of fuzz clinging to the garment.

Candice squeaked and spun in her chair. “Did you just lick me?”

“There was something on your shirt, and I was cleaning it off for you,” Sophia responded, taken aback by her friend's reaction. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Didn’t I just tell you I find that really gross?” Candice snapped and then sighed. “Sorry, it’s kind of surprising to feel a tongue when you’re not expecting it. Please, just tell me next time.”

Why do two-legs find it gross again? I know I used to think it was too, but it seems rather silly now. Tongues are made for cleaning.

“It felt rude not to,” Sophia explained sheepishly. “It’s a wolf thing.”

“Anyway, what do you want to eat?” Candice asked, gesturing towards her screen. “I have my order in already. My treat, by the way.”

“Ooh, thanks,” Sophia said. “How many patties can I order at once?”

“Three, I think,” Candice replied, checking the menu. “Yep, three.”

“I’ll take three, then, with extra bacon and nothing else. Cheese is fine, but no bun or fries.”

Candice looked up from her laptop and arched an eyebrow. “Still having issues with carbs?”

“You mean starch?” Sophia corrected. “Yes, but I’ve experimented a bit, and I’m finding my stomach does okay if I don’t have a lot at once. I had a bun at lunch since there wasn’t much else, and have felt okay, but I’d prefer not to if I can avoid it.”

“Soph, you can’t possibly stay healthy with just meat.”

“I’ve been eating mostly meat for over a month,” Sophia argued stubbornly. “And I’ve been fine. In fact, I feel better when I don’t eat anything else.”

Especially when it’s more than just cooked muscle.

“Have it your way, I’m still getting the bun and fries, though,” Candice sighed, entering the order. “The price is the same with or without the bun, and I’ll give the fries to Lynn. Alright, order is in!” She confirmed the order with an emphatic mouse click and then jumped out of her chair, beaming. “Alright, now I can show you my dress for the dance! I’m so excited!”

I wish we could wait for dinner outside. Sophia forced a smile. But she’s been wanting to do this for weeks.

“Oooh!” She cheered, trying to kindle excitement. “I bet it looks amazing!”

“You bet it does!” Candice exclaimed, crossing the room to her closet. “I’m so lucky to have found it!” She turned towards her closet and then looked back at Sophia. ”You can use my chair, no need to stay standing!”

Candice waited for Sophia to sit and swivel towards her before sliding the closet door open. With a dramatic flourish, she pulled out a light gray, short-laced ball dress hanging between a number of dresses organized by color. Holding it in the light with a wide smile, she brought it to her chest, the hemline falling to her knees. The dress sparkled as she modeled it.

Wow, it’s like Bruin’s in here. No longer contained by the closet door, odors from every material imaginable found their way to Sophia. Eesh, I don’t know if I want to bury my nose in her closet or run far away from it all.

“So, what do you think?” Candice prompted after Sophia failed to react.

About which smell? Sophia cocked her head, confused. There are so many!

“About the dress, silly!” Candice laughed. “What else would I be asking about?”

“Oh! It’s gorgeous!” Sophia exclaimed after looking it over, unable to completely hide the strain in her voice.

“Want to see it on me?” Candice asked, an eager glimmer in her eyes.

Do I have a choice?

“Of course!” Sophia replied, trying not to get distracted by the dress shimmering every time it moved.

Stop it. You’re here for Candice; this is important to her.

Candice hung the dress up on the open closet door and took off her pullover and pants. As her friend changed, Sophia squirmed restlessly under the weight and irritation of her own clothes. The addition of a layer of residue from evaporated sweat didn’t help matters.

This is worse than school; I feel like I should be able to be myself around Candice, and I can’t.

“So, who’re you going with?” Sophia asked to distract herself as Candice pulled the dress over her head. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Mark from Student Council!” Candice answered as she pulled her arms through the laced sleeves of the dress. “I asked him back in December!”

“Ah, I don’t know him, but that’s exciting!”

“He’s nice!” Candice’s furious blush contrasted sharply with the gray of her dress. “And really cute...”

“Aww! Candice has a crush!” Muscles in Sophia’s back tried to flex as she put her hands over her heart. “Are you officially a couple yet?”

Candice somehow turned even redder. “Uh, we’ve met up a few times, but nothing serious. Like, not for a date. Okay, I guess they were kind of like dates, but it was just for coffee… and okay, a dinner. But it was a casual dinner! We kind of held hands last week, but it was just one time; it’s not like we’ve kissed or anything. But maybe…” She stammered and tittered. “We’ll see what happens!”

“That’s adorable!” Sophia’s laugh came out as more of a chuff. “I’m really happy for you! I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time next weekend!”

Candice quickly turned towards her closet, but not before Sophia caught her grimacing. 

“You know, there’s still time to get tickets. It’s going to be a lot of fun!” Candice said as she reached for something in her closet. “There won’t be that many people there, maybe a hundred fifty.” 

That’s one hundred fifty two-le… people too many for me. Anxiety at the thought of being surrounded by people flashed through her. School and work are hard enough without subjecting myself to it voluntarily.

Sophia lightly ran her fingers over an ear. “Do they let in wolves, yet?” she asked sardonically.

“Don’t bite anyone and you’ll be fine,” Candice teased as she turned back around, holding the shoes she had picked out with Sophia. “And don’t change anymore in the next week.”

“Not what I meant.”

“I mean, you could give human males a shot,” Candice snarked as she slipped her shoes on. “You know, someone with a life expectancy greater than a few years.”

That… hadn’t occurred to me. Ice ran through Sophia’s veins. Regular wolves don’t exactly live long; how long do Shadow’s wolves live? I could live for a long time after he dies.

“Anyway, how do I look?” Candice asked, twirling.

But better that than living miserably as something I’m not and being without him anyway.

“Sophia?” Candice prompted.

Sophia blinked, finally focusing on her friend. “You look gorgeous!”

“Thanks! I’m planning to get my hair and nails done next Saturday afternoon, after helping with setup in the morning,” Candice said proudly. “You’re welcome to join me, of course!” She pursed her lips. “If you’re not out dancing with wolves, that is.”

“Hah, if I’m not working, I plan to be.”

“Isn’t there anyone on two legs that you’d potentially be interested in?” Candice asked, slipping off her shoes. “Someone who you can actually talk to, who can take you in his arms, and make you feel happy and desired?”

“Shadow holds me all the time,” Sophia retorted, and then her eyes lit up. “And I’m learning to understand him!” Words started to tumble out of her mouth as her excitement rose. “It’s incredible, there’s an entire wolf language! I only know a little, but I’m learning quickly, and I hope to be able to speak it eventually.”

“You’re saying he, the wolf, can talk?!” Candice asked in disbelief.

“Yep!” Sophia nodded enthusiastically and then grinned. “Well, it’s all done in wolf sounds, of course. I call it ‘Wolfish’; get it? Like English, but with… oh, never mind…”

Candice just stared blankly at her.

 “What’s really weird is I’m starting to understand dogs, too. They don’t speak in the same way, and it’s a lot simpler, but many of the sound combinations seem to have the same meaning in Wolfish. Though I think it’s just instinctive for them, not really a language, like Shadow or humans use.”

Across the room, Candice was leaning against the closed half of her closet, her dress hanging loosely around her shoulders, half unzipped. She stared at Sophia as though the latter had gone rabid.

“I actually discovered that on the way here,” Sophia continued obliviously. “There was this one tiny wolf that tried to be really threatening.” She mock-snarled for effect and then chuffed. “I could tell he was actually pretty terrified of me, though, and I doubt he would have stood his ground. But his human was there, and it wasn’t my territory, so I let him be. After him was this really weird girl wolf that wanted to exchange scents, but didn’t seem to care about protecting her pack’s territory.”

I should talk. She paused as a wave of guilt rolled through her. Shadow is defending our territory all by himself. I haven't even done my part in marking it!

“Uh," Candice uttered, pulling herself off the closet door.

“Everything okay?” Sophia asked, sniffing towards the other girl.

“It’s just… a lot,” Candice replied, plopping onto her bed. “I mean, talking wolves and dogs? Territory? No offense, but do you know how crazy you sound?”

“Any crazier than me becoming a werewolf?” Sophia countered.

“Yeah, I guess we both got on the train to crazyville a while ago,” Candice conceded before closing her eyes and rubbing her temples.

“Hey, you’re the one who bought the tickets,” Sophia ribbed. 

“Yeah, but you’re the one applying to become the conductor,” Candice shot back.

Both girls broke out laughing.

“You up for a show until food gets here?” Candice asked after they had calmed down. “We have about forty-five minutes to kill. Maybe we can find one with wolves in it…” 

“Sure, that sounds nice,” Sophia said, trying to sound somewhat enthusiastic.

When was the last time I watched a show or movie? They’re just so… uninteresting when there’s nothing to smell.

“Coolies! Let me finish changing out of my dress,” Candice said, hopping off her bed. “Oh, I just thought of one! Have you seen any of Teen Wolf?”

Oh, was that it?For a show with ‘wolf’ in its title, there sure weren’t a lot of wolves. 

As the credits began to roll, Candice’s phone chimed, and Sophia quickly withdrew her tongue from cleaning off the salty sweat residue on what she could reach of her left shoulder. She tried to look innocent as Candice checked her phone.

“Food’s here,” Candice announced, pausing the show. “I’ll be right back.” She rolled off her bed, where the girls had sprawled out to watch the show on Candice’s laptop.

“About time, I’m starving,” Sophia answered.

“Me too, but you should probably wash your hands,” Candice commented dryly before she left the room.

So much for hiding it from her. Sophia quickly sniffed along her right arm, lapping at a couple of places that still smelled dirty. Fine, I’ll be “hygienic”.

Getting off the bed, she headed out the door and to the bathroom across the hall. Entering, she frowned as she noted a subtle lemon fragrance in the air. She quickly tracked the origin to the bar of soap resting on the sink.

Eh, I’ll skip the soap. Flipping on the light and closing the door out of habit, she stepped in front of the faucet and turned it on.

Her reflection caught her attention as she put her hands under the flowing water. Forgetting about the water already flowing over her hands for a moment, she tilted her head at an angle to get a better look at her ear. As she had already ascertained from touch, the outer rim had very noticeably changed and had pulled into a rounded point at the top. The inflammation of the past few days also appeared to have receded, and it was closer to its usual color.

Nice, but from the way Candice was reacting, I half-expected full-on wolf ears. She folded the tip of the point down to examine the back. They still have quite a ways to go for that, but it’s a start. Tilting her head the other way, she giddily confirmed her other ear matched its counterpart. I still can’t believe this is actually happening!

“You okay in there?” Candice asked through the door. “I’ve got food!”

“Yeah, just a minute!” Sophia answered, quickly rinsing and drying her hands.

As soon as she opened the bathroom door, her mouth watered as she scented warm beef and bacon. By the time she had stepped back into her friend’s bedroom, Candice had already divided up the order and had placed Sophia’s carton where she had been lying in the bed.

“I already gave Lynn your fries,” Candice informed her, busily squirting a ketchup packet onto her burger. “You’ll have to take the burger off the bun. Sure you don’t want any ketchup?”

“Very sure,” Sophia replied as she crawled onto the bed towards the delicious-smelling box.

Now, if there was blood I could put on it… Bending towards the box, she sniffed it. Heh, I sound like a vampire.

“If you could eat like a normal person, I’d appreciate it,” Candice commented dryly. “I’d prefer not getting grease on my blankets.”

Fine, I’ll use my forepa… hands. Sophia gave the other girl a sour look, but pulled herself onto her knees.

Trying to overcome her hunger long enough to remember how to open a box was more difficult than it had any right to be. Removing the burger from the bun without simply nosing the latter out of the way was even harder, but before long, she was licking grease off of her fingers and face. The emptiness in her stomach had been filled, but certain cravings remained.

I really want to eat the whole animal, not just processed parts.

“Pretty good, eh?” Candice prompted after swallowing a mouthful of fries. “Going to be hard to find charbroiled burgers and bacon if you go wolfy.”

“True,” Sophia agreed after licking off any remaining grease from her burger’s carton. “But on the flipside, I’d be able to eat the whole cow.”

Candice let out an uncertain laugh. “Yeah, but you’d still have to hunt and kill it yourself.”

“It tastes even better that way,” Sophia commented offhandedly and then immediately regretted it.

Crap.

“Uh, you haven’t actually… eaten any animals, right?” Candice asked, setting down her burger.

She was going to find out sooner or later.

Sophia closed her eyes for a moment before answering. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I have, and not just during the full moon. Well, I’ve eaten them, I kind of suck at the hunting part… except for one rabbit on New Year's Eve. Shadow has been…”

“Like, blood and all?”

“Yes,” Sophia confirmed, feeling a thrill run through her. “I mean, I’m kind of limited by what my teeth can handle, but you wouldn’t believe how tasty blood is! And, wow, the organs..!”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Candice’s face turned ashen as she looked down at her burger, and the room fell into uncomfortable silence.

What was she expecting? Sophia stared at the empty burger carton in front of her. I’m turning into a wolf. It’s not like wolves fire up a barbecue or something.

She glanced at Candice at the corner of her eye. The girl was still staring at her burger, her face tight. Briefly, Sophia contemplated nuzzling the other girl with her nose to comfort her.

No, that would just make everything worse. Maybe I should leave? It took her a moment to realize she had started anxiously licking her hand. I don’t know what to do.

“When you were talking about eating Lynn earlier,” Candice broke the silence at last. “You weren’t actually thinking of…?”

“No!” Sophia recoiled in horror. “I could never do that! Wolves don’t hunt people like in shows or movies!”

“That’s… something, at least. I just don’t understand how you could eat…” Candice stuck out her tongue in disgust. “It’s so gross!”

“It just doesn’t feel gross to me anymore,” Sophia shrugged. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I don’t know, I guess what I like has changed… and so has my stomach.”

Candice fell silent, staring blankly straight ahead.

“I’m sorry,” Sophia said, looking away. “I knew this would bother you.”

“I just thought…” Candice whispered. “I had more time.” She took a shaky breath. “And this wolf, Shadow, you really mean it when you say you love him?”

She’s doubted that the whole time?

“With all my heart,” Sophia confirmed. “To be perfectly honest, human males don’t interest me at all anymore.”

“And you actually want to…?” Candice made a hole with one hand and pointed at it with the other.

Sophia felt herself blushing. “Well, yes, I want to start a pack with him, have his pups.”

“But he’s an animal!” Candice blurted out. “It’s wrong!”

“Wrong? How?” Sophia asked in confusion. “He asked me to be his mate! This is what I want, my decision! He’s not forcing me to do anything.”

“He’s an animal, Sophia!” Candice insisted desperately. “He can’t understand right from wrong! It’s just instinct!”

Why is she acting like this is all new?

“He does, though!” Sophia countered, growing defensive. “He’s smart like us and even descended from humans who turned into wolves! Heck, he even has more self-control than a lot of human guys. You should really meet him before you attack him!”

“And when he dies in a few years, then what?” Candice plowed on. “You’ll just wander the mountains alone? What kind of life is that?!”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Sophia told her softly, but firmly. “I’m meant to be a wolf.”

“And what about you?” Candice persisted. “Even if you manage to survive, how long will you live? Will I go looking for you in my mid-20s, and you’re already dead of old age? Even if you’re meant to be a wolf, what’s the point of turning into one if you die after a few years?”

“Because it’s better than living as something I’m not!” Sophia exclaimed in exasperation.

She braced herself for the next tirade, but it never came. Instead, Candice just sat there, stone-faced with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Candice,” she said after an uncomfortable silence. “You’ll always be my friend, but I’m turning into a wolf; I want to be a wolf. I’m not going to change my mind on this.”

“Fine, be a wolf,” Candice said petulantly. “But when it turns out not to be everything you thought it would be, I’ll be here to tell you ‘I told you so’.”

Well, that’s sort of a blessing.

“I guess I should go home, then?” Sophia asked uncertainly.

“I guess so,” Candice replied, turning her head towards the window.