Imperfect Desires

Francesca didn't think she'd end up running into her sister again. And that too, the very next day. She had just stepped out to get her favorite bubble tea from the nearest cafe and ended up bumping into the person she didn't wish to see at all.

And before she could turn and leave, Florence had already held her hand to stop her. "Can't we just sit down and talk?"

"Do we have to?" retorted Francesca.

"Just for five minutes," pleaded Florence. "I won't take long."

Francesca hesitated a little but seeing how everyone around them looked in their direction, she ended up sighing and sat down with her. 

As they both sat facing each other, Florence's eyes didn't leave Francesca even for a second while Francesca refused to even look at her. Although she had come to buy bubble tea, she ended up ordering black coffee instead. She needed something bitter to swallow this situation down.

"I remember you used to love Latte," commented Florence.

Francesca snorted at her, "The time you're talking about is long gone. In all these years even people change, I only changed my drinking preferences. What's odd about that?"

Florence bit her lip. She could tell that her sister's words held a sharp edge. It was like she hated her and she couldn't even blame her for that either. Sighing out, she asked, "How's our father?"

Francesca paused before she stared at her face and answered, "He is dead. He died only a few years after you disappeared."

The cup in Florence's hand shook and she instantly put it down in fear that she might spill the tea. She took a moment to gather her emotions before saying, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" retorted Francesca. "For dad's death? He's been gone for far too long now. You should be sorry to the living people instead. I believe there are a lot more people to whom you owe an apology. Not like it'll change anything but still, they deserve an apology from a selfish person like you."

"Francesca, back then I had to leave," said Florence.

"Oh?" responded Francesca in derision. "Please, do tell me why you had to leave? Give me an excuse for this selfishness of yours. No matter what you say at this point, it'll be an excuse. No reason can justify what you did."

Florence placed her hands on her lap and looked down as she said in a soft voice, "I wasn't in the condition to face anything at that time."

"Was that a good enough reason to abandon your newborn son?" asked Francesca. "What did he do wrong? Let's forget about what Zhou Xichen did. But what about the newborn son who knew nothing? What about that boy who spent years questioning himself, what did he do wrong that his own mother left him?"

"I told you back then as well. Zhou Xichen's family had broken me. I was mentally exhausted. I was depressed and felt betrayed. I couldn't look at the baby. He reminded me of what I had to go through."

Francesca sneered at her, "I don't even know why I expected better from you." She shook her head and slammed her hands on the table started Florence, "No matter what happened back then, it had nothing to do with an innocent kid who had barely opened his eyes into this world. You know, I can finally understand why it took you so many years to get pregnant back then. A woman like you didn't deserve to be a mother. You put your own feelings above everyone else's."

She turned to leave but stopped and warned her, "I hope we don't see each other again. My son is far better without you in his life." She took a deep breath and added, "And one more thing, my son was never a reminder of your bad luck. You left him because he reminded you of how weak your love was that one scheme tore you apart from your husband!"

Saying that she left and didn't look back at all. She didn't know what she was expecting really. Maybe a small part of her really wanted a valid reason for her absence. But she was bound to be disappointed in the end.

She didn't go back home yet, instead, she wandered on the streets without any destination. She looked heavenwards and asked, "Dad, are you sure she is my sister? How can she do this?"

While her heart felt heavy and she was close to shedding tears, her phone's ringtone pulled her out of her sadness. Seeing the name of her son flashing on the screen, made her lips pull up. She took deep calming breaths before she accepted the call.

"How's my son doing?"

Darren didn't reply immediately when he heard her voice. He had always been a sensitive person. It wasn't difficult for him to read his mother's mood. 

"I am not doing well," he replied to her.

"What? Why?" Francesca was immediately worried when she heard him say that.

"Because I miss my Mama," he answered making Francesca shake her head at him.

"You scared me," she rebuked him gently. "And is this your age to miss your mother? You're already a father of a son."

"All the more reason for me to miss my Mama," said Darren. He took a pause and called out, "Mama!"

"Hm?"

"You do know that I only ever needed you, right?" Francesca was startled when she heard him say that. "You are my only mother. And you'll always be. Even in my next life, I only want to be your son. Just yours!"

Francesca's tear fell down as she said, "Why are you saying this of all times?"

"Because I felt like I needed to remind you that there had never been and there can never be a better mother to me than you." He heard her sniffling and added, "Okay, now I didn't say it to make you cry. Stop crying already."

"Aaa... Aow... Eee..."

Hearing those incoherent noises from Darren's side, Francesca paused as Darren told her, "See? Your grandson is also telling you to stop crying."

"He can't even talk yet," said Francesca through her tears.

"But he can get the message across," answered Darren with a laugh.