Imperfect Desires

Xiu had been trying her best to push back her tears. She really didn't want to shed ugly tears before Xin Zimen. However, the moment Xin Zimen said, 'Don't get hurt.' Xiu lost herself to the grief that welled up inside her heart.

And just like that, she surrendered herself to the grief that had entered her heart like a tsunami to wreak havoc and destroy her. The moment her tears rolled down her face, Xin Zimen was startled. He was frozen at his place as he watched her sob painfully. She had finally accepted the emotional pain that's been knocking at the door of her heart trying to creep in and even Xin Zimen could see a heartbroken look in her eyes.

Her silent sobbing suddenly turned into an earth-shattering cry that shook everyone's heart in the room. Before Xin Zimen could even move, Xiu held his waist and hugged him tightly as her cries grew louder and louder.

The sound of her wailing was making it difficult for Darren to breathe but he found himself helpless in this situation. He knew there was nothing he could say or do to make her feel better. Nothing was gonna help. But maybe just maybe hugging Xin Zimen would help her. Even if he hoped for that, he still couldn't stop himself from shedding tears silently with her.

Currently, only Darren and Han Bohai could understand Xiu's crying. And it was painful to them. 

Xiu didn't care about how she looked, she just buried her face in Xin Zimen's body and continued to cry out. She hadn't cried so painfully since the time of her rebirth. But now, she couldn't stop herself. Today, she truly felt like crying her heart and soul out!

She wanted to scream, 'Daddy, your daughter had been hurt already! This world hurt her so much that she gave up on her life! How can you tell me to not get hurt now? I've already destroyed myself once! How am I supposed to tell you how much it hurt? How am I supposed to tell how the world treated your daughter when you weren't there to protect her?! How am I supposed to tell you that I lost the right to even complain to you because I killed myself? I killed your daughter! I lost the right to call you daddy! I lost it all because it hurt so much!'

She really wanted to scream it all out but in the end, she had even lost the right to scream it out loud. Just how was she supposed to say it all out loud? What right did she have now?

After being stunned for a long while, Xin Zimen hugged her head and said, "Little lass, why are you crying?" He didn't even realize that his voice was shaking just like his body was shaking right now. He could feel his shirt getting wet because of her tears but all he felt was like each of her tears was burning him. Not his skin, it was burning something else inside of him.

Whatever was burning inside of him, it was painful. It was making his heart ache. It was making his heart clench painfully. He didn't know why but each of her cries was tearing his heart ruthlessly. 

He tried to push her away to look at her face but she refused to budge. In fact, when he tried to push her, Xiu grasped onto him even more tightly as if she was holding onto her last shred of life.

From the moment he met Xiu, he had always seen her smiling. He had always seen her trying to look for something positive even in the worst of conditions. No matter how she got hurt, she didn't cry out in pain. 

But today, seeing her so vulnerable made him feel displeased. They say crying washes away the inner clutter but for some reason, he didn't want to see her crying. It hurt him to see her in tears. He didn't even know why he felt like he was choking up with tears right now.

"Dad!" Xiao Li shouted at his father as he came close. "Why are you just standing there? And why did you make her cry?"

"I didn't," replied Xin Zimen. "I didn't do anything."

"If you didn't, why is she crying so much?" Xiao Li shot back in anger. Even he could feel the pain of Xiu from just the sound of her cries. And honestly, he knew his father didn't do anything. But currently, his mind wasn't working properly at all. To him, all he could see was Xiu's tears and nothing else.

"Regan!" Xiao Li turned to Darren but found him in tears and when he turned to Han Bohai, he was also silently trying to hide his tears. This made Xiao Li even more confused. He didn't even know what was going on to make them all so emotional.

Clenching his jaw, he moved over and patted Xiu's back in a soothing manner as he said, "Xiu, why are you crying? Why don't you tell me who made you cry? What made you so sad? Just say it one time, I promise, I'll do anything to fix it, eh? Don't you say I'm your brother, then just tell me what is wrong? Your brother will solve it for you."

Hearing his words, Xiu cried even harder if that was even possible. Seeing that, Xin Zimen smacked his son saying, "What the hell are you doing? If you can't fix it, don't make it worse!"

Ah-Si who had been standing at the door didn't dare walk inside the room. From the moment, he had seen tears in Xiu's eyes when she looked at Xin Zimen, something tugged at his heart. He could faintly tell what was up with her. But he also knew he was just as helpless as she was in the condition. And the way she cried so painfully, made him didn't even dare to take another step.

"My little lass, if you continued to cry so sadly, it's gonna make me go crazy with fear. Please, say something. Your tears are hurting me now."

"Xiu, at least tell us what is going on? How can we do anything if you continued to cry like this?" 

Both Xin Zimen and Xiao Li tried everything to make her stop crying but the more they said something, the louder and painfully her crying got. It only made them feel hurt. As for Xiu, she cried until her voice grew hoarser, she cried until no tears were left to shed. She cried until she lost her unconsciousness from crying.

Ah-Si hurriedly called the doctor who asked them all to leave the room. Even Darren was moved out of the room. And just as they left the room, Xin Zimen stared at Darren and glared, "You know why she cried!"

Darren rubbed his temples as he replied, "Uncle Zi, just because I know the reason behind her tears doesn't mean I can do anything for her. This is the second time I'm feeling so helpless in my life. And I know she is feeling the same helplessness as well. We only cry when it gets too much. When we are not able to hold back our feelings any longer. It's better to let her cry like this."

Xiao Li looked at Han Bohai suspiciously, "Why are you here?"

Han Bohai was about to say something when Darren said on his behalf, "Xiu wanted to see him. You don't have to look at him so suspiciously. He isn't the reason for her tears."

"What the hell! If you won't say anything how will we know why she lost control like this?" shouted Xiao Li. Usually, he could keep his temper in check but today, he couldn't do it. Or more like, he didn't want to do it at all. He could still hear the sound of crying in his head and it seemed to be attacking him repeatedly now. "Does it make sense that a lively person like her suddenly started crying? One minute she was smiling and the next, she broke down like this? Without any reason at all? What does this mean?"

"It's not the first time," muttered Han Bohai in a low voice which earned him a lot of stares from the men around him. He wasn't fazed as he said, "Just because she is good at laughing, doesn't mean everything is alright. It just means before today, she didn't think of you as close enough to let you see her vulnerable side like this."

"Should I feel happy about the fact that now she thinks of me as someone she can depend on?"

Darren nodded to that, "Maybe you should. Sweets don't cry before just anyone."

"But I don't want to see her cry!" shouted Xiao Li and turned to his father. "Dad, why are you not saying anything?"

Xin Zimen's eyes were glued to the closed door of the room as he replied, "Xiao Li, stop talking. Let her wake up. We'll eventually know what's wrong."