Imperfect Desires

Xiao Li carefully observed Darren's face before he said, "You know if you won't answer me, I can simply go and ask Han Bohai."

Darren's lips curved up slightly, "And do you think he'd give you the answers you want?"

"He gave me answers last night," said Xiao Li.

Darren scoffed, "Only because he wanted to tell everyone that his Sister Xiu was innocent. And he also wanted to tell everyone that she was wronged. But if you want to know something personal regarding Chen Xiu, forget about it! He is even more stubborn than I am."

Xiao Li frowned at his words, "And why is that?"

"Maybe because he doesn't trust people," replied Darren calmly. 

Xiao Li contemplated over his words before saying, "Then why don't you stop being stubborn and tell me what I want to know."

"It's not that I can't tell you anything," began Darren. "But I would like to know why? Why are you so interested in someone who is gone? You never even met her. If your curiosity is building just because of Liu Nuan's hatred, then let it be."

Xiao Li shook his head, "It's not because of Liu Nuan..." He stopped talking after those words. He was wondering what could he tell Darren? After carefully thinking about it, he told him, "I actually met Chen Xiu when she was alive."

Darren was taken aback by that. "When did that happen? How come she didn't tell me anything about this?" From the way Xiu interacted with Xiao Li, he was certain that she couldn't recall him. Even if she met Xiao Li as Chen Xiu, she definitely had no memory of that.

"Did she tell you everything back then?" asked Xiao Li curiously and with a bit of surprise.

Darren pressed his lips together. Although Chen Xiu told him a lot of things, she wasn't as honest and talkative as his Xiu was now. So, the real sharing part came in this life. Then how should he answer Xiao Li now? 

"Let's just say she did," retorted Darren vaguely. "And that's why I can't recall her telling me about you."

Xiao Li nodded his head and said, "Obviously, she wouldn't know." He remembered the time he found her in that hotel room. That day seemed too vivid in his memory even now. "She was unconscious when we met."

"Huh?" Darren's curiosity was piqued. "What happened?"

Xiao Li reiterated the whole incident of how Zhou Jinhai had asked him for help back then and he had gone to save Chen Xiu. Even when he didn't know anything about her, just one look made him want to protect her. She looked so defenseless, so vulnerable, and so broken. His hands clenched up as he thought about if he could have been able to save her if he knew what she was going through.

He had put a guard against Zhou Jinhai's mother so that she won't be able to trap that girl again. But how would he know that someone from his own family would end up taking that girl's life?

Hearing about this incident that Darren didn't know about, he didn't know what to feel. Even his hatred had a limit but people's maliciousness had no end. 

"If you knew about her," began Darren. "How come you didn't know about her downfall?"

"I had just taken over the Wen Clan," replied Xiao Li. "I had too many things to sort out within the clan. And I had to go through vigorous training daily to actually achieve the respect of the Wen Clan masters. It's needless to say that Wen Clan had all been about the strong one. There had never been a hierarchy except for one. You're either strong, or you're not. I had to do a lot to be accepted. Even if my mother was the previous Clan leader, no one would accept me if I have no talent or skills."

"That's understandable," replied Darren.

"And during that time, I missed out on a lot," said Xiao Li. "I had no access to the internet. I barely even got to make a phone call to anyone in those six months. But by the time, I got my freedom... Chen Xiu was already dead."

"So you really didn't know about Liu Nuan's miscarriage," Darren's voice was soft. Actually, he also didn't know about it. He was also busy with his mother back then and that's why he missed out on so many things. 

"I'm still not able to come around the fact that Liu Nuan was pregnant," told Xiao Li without hesitation. Seeing the confusion in Darren's eyes, he added, "I clearly remember Ying telling me how Zhou Jinhai and Liu Nuan are only married on a paper. They have no other relation." Xiao Li really felt like there was more to this story than he knew. He needed to ask Ying about this. Perhaps, she'd know something that he didn't know.

"Forget about that," said Darren. He neither wanted to hear about Zhou Jinhai nor about Liu Nuan. Both names made him feel a rage that seemed to be burning him inside now. To distract himself from all these emotions, he asked, "Tell me what you want to know about Chen Xiu."

Xiao Li was surprised that he agreed to tell him something. "Anything... Like what kind of a person she was."

"Haven't you already heard from Han Bohai last night though?" retorted Darren. "She was a foolishly good person." 

"That's it?" questioned Xiao Li with a frown.

Darren's eyes softened as he added, "She was a lonely person who desperately yearned for love in her life. And she was foolish because she thought by spreading love, she might be able to receive love in return. For some reason, she wanted to be accepted. That's why she worked so hard every minute of her life. The acting was her passion, not just because it helped her in spreading happiness and love, but also because as her fan following grew, she thought she was being accepted."

Xiao Li listened to him intently. He could clearly feel sadness and bitterness in Darren's words. He could also feel Chen Xiu's loneliness even without seeing it. 

"She was a beautiful person. But she was equally broken. Maybe because she was broken that's what made her so beautiful as well." He looked at Xiao Li and smiled sadly, "To be honest, I always say it and I'd do it again. I don't think my words would ever be able to do justice to what or who Chen Xiu was. Words can't possibly describe someone like her."

Xiao Li could tell that Darren didn't just say those words. He meant everything he just said. And hearing it all made him want to meet her once. Even if it seemed impossible. He really wished, he had met her.

*Thuk!*

Xiao Li held the back of his head where someone hit him and glared at the perpetrator. Dr. Ling was glaring back at him as she held a pen in her hand that she had smacked on the back of his head. "I clearly warned you not to agitate my patient!"

"When did I do that?" retorted Xiao Li.

Dr. Ling looked at the nurse who had been standing at the side. The same nurse had called for her earlier when Darren was about to leave in a rage.

"I didn't agitate him, he was just a little happy," said Xiao Li.

"Do you take me for a fool?" Dr. Ling shot back at him. She looked at Darren's vitals and her eyes narrowed again. "His heartbeat is still faster than it should be."

"His heartbeat always goes out of control when his wife is around?" 

Dr. Ling placed her hands on her hips, "Are you trying to be funny right now? His wife is not even here right now!"

Xiao Li rolled his eyes at her and said, "Why don't you give your lecture to your patient? He is the one eager to get out of this bed!"

"Mr. Salvay," Dr. Ling turned her attention to Darren. "I already told you not to be in such a hurry. This involves your whole life. A moment's carelessness can really destroy everything. So, have some patience. You'll be able to get out of this bed eventually."

"I have a lot to do out there, Dr. Ling," replied Darren.

Dr. Ling pointed at Xiao Li, "Use him!" Xiao Li raised his brows at her as she went on, "He is pretty useless around here anyway. Isn't it better to make him do your bidding? Put him to some use!"

Xiao Li glared at her, "You're really something, Wanwan."

"Thank you for your compliment!" replied Dr. Ling with a smile. Before Xiao Li could say anything, she looked back at Darren and instructed, "Mr. Salvay, please don't let your emotions get out of control. Even if it's happiness, keep it a bit down. Although your surgery had been successful, the brain is a sensitive and complicated part of the body. Even as doctors, we can't be certain about anything when it comes to brain injuries."

"I'll try my best," replied Darren. "Also, can you just call me Darren? I feel odd being called Mr. Slavay while I'm stuck here like a patient."