Imperfect Desires

Inside the room, Darren looked at the nurse before him and made a hand gesture. The nurse instantly understood and handed him a notebook and pen.

Since he didn't even look as he continued to scribble something on the notebook, tore the page, and asked the nurse to pass it to Xiu. The nurse did exactly as she was told and passed the paper to Xiu. Xiu took it with her right hand and looked at what he had written.

It read, 'Are you okay? Is it hurting?'

Xiu shook her in reply, "Didn't I say it just now? It doesn't hurt anywhere. I'm feeling perfectly fine."

He wrote again, and the paper was passed again.

- 'Liar.'

That was all written on the paper.

Xiu sighed out, "Okay, okay. I'm not perfectly fine. But it's really not hurting. I promise." She frowned and hurriedly asked, "Why aren't you talking? I haven't heard your voice in years!"

Darren chuckled silently and wrote something.

- 'Years? It's been a little over a day, Sweets.'

Xiu read it and scowled, "Regan, haven't you heard? One day feels like three seasons have passed." She looked really sad as she continued, "I truly feel like I slept for years. The only proof that I haven't slept for that long is that our baby is bean-sized."

Darren closed his eyes to give them the rest for a minute.

"You didn't tell me, why aren't you talking? Did something happen?"

Darren took a deep breath and answered with a string of words.

- 'I've been calling you for so long but you didn't even turn back to look at me. After that much screaming, I definitely would lose my voice, no?'

Xiu's brows jumped up, "Huh? When did you call for me? There is no way my Regan calls me and I don't turn around. Tell me when and where it happened?"

- 'In my dream.'

Xiu's eyes narrowed as she said, "How dare my dream self not turn around at your call? Is she looking for a beating?"

Darren smiled widely at her reaction. He realized what he had been missing. It was her random remarks. And the look in her eyes that seemed to scream how much she loved him and what he meant to her. To be honest, the love in her eyes was beyond overwhelming but he would never want it any other way.

"It's okay to not talk for a while. In any way, I'm the only one who talks in this relationship. So, even if you stay quiet for some time, it'll work."

Darren couldn't even argue with that statement. First, he would never argue with her. Second, she was indeed the one who mostly talked in this relationship.

- 'Yes, that's true. Only my Sweets can talk in this relationship. I'll just listen obediently.'

He gave the response.

"There is no need to be so obedient. Otherwise, people will curse me for being a bad wife who is trying to control her husband. I definitely have no plan of trying to control you."

- 'So, you don't care about what I do?'

He questioned.

She tried to shrug her shoulders but only one moved, her movement suddenly paused but she resumed it as if nothing happened. "As long as you're with me. I really don't care about what you do."

That momentary pause of hers had already been noticed by him. He pursed his lips and continued to stare at her face intently.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" she questioned.

- 'Since you think you haven't heard my voice in years, I also feel like it's been too long I haven't seen your face. So, I'm trying to make up for the time that I couldn't see you.'

Xiu tried to hold back her smile and said casually, "Then look. Look carefully. Don't you dare forget a single detail."

- 'Every single detail is already carved on my soul, how can I forget it? Even if I lose all of me, I won't be able to forget even a single frown of yours.'

Xiu looked at the nurses around them and lowered her head trying to hide her flustered look. She wanted to glare at Darren for writing something like this at a moment like this. Especially when the one who had been passing the notes to her had been a nurse.

"Don't say anymore," she said and turned her head away.

- 'If you look away, how am I gonna look at you?'

Xiu hesitated before saying, "Then don't look. Close your eyes and go to sleep!"

- 'You're finally awake. How do I go to sleep now? Do you know for how many hours I had to suffer through the silence around you? I love it when you talk. So, keep talking. I don't even care if your words make sense or not, just don't stay quiet. Okay?'

Xiu felt her heart beating painfully when she read those words. She could feel his despair in those words. It truly showed how much he had missed her. Even if she was right beside him, he wasn't really reassured. He desperately longed to hear her voice.

And oddly, when she looked into his eyes, she felt something different. The emotions swirling in his eyes were more prominent. She could feel herself losing in those distinct emotions. But then again, when had she ever not lost herself in his grey eyes?

She smiled softly and said, "Then don't close your eyes. I'll keep talking, but you have to listen."

- 'Don't worry about your arm.'

Xiu's expressions didn't change when she read it. She licked her lips and smiled at him, "Why would I worry? The doctor said everything will be fine. And since you're here, everything will be fine." She took a pause briefly and went on, "And even if by any chance it doesn't work ever again, what's the harm? Will you stop loving me because of it?" 

He forced his voice out and said in a whisper, "Never!"