Imperfect Desires

When Dylan reached the hospital, most of the scene was cleared up. He still needed Cali's help to get inside. But when he reached the door of Darren's room, he stopped. He couldn't bring himself to open the door. It was like someone nailed him right there. 

On the way to his room, Cali had detailed him about everything that happened since her last visit and it left Dylan shaken. So much happened and he didn't know any of it. Just because he was trying to gather his strength to face his friend, he actually didn't even realize that his friend was in such grave danger.

He so desperately wanted to see his best friend but he couldn't bring himself to push this door open that had suddenly come up between them. There had never been anything standing between these two best friends. So, why did this door appear? Where did it come from? And why was it so difficult for him to actually tear down this door? Why couldn't he bring himself to open it? All he had to do was give a push then how come even that was so difficult now?

When did it become like this? How come he didn't even realize it? How come he never knew there would come a day like this as well? Maybe because he strongly believed, nothing could actually separate him from his best friend. He took pride in this friendship and now, he couldn't even bring himself to face his best friend. He couldn't stand before him with that playful smile ever again. For the first time, Dylan felt like he was actually losing a part of himself. And the thought really scared the hell out of him.

He loved playing jokes in his life. Now, life was trying to play on him. 

He was still standing at the door indecisively when the door was pulled open and Francesca stood before Dylan. Seeing her eyes, Dylan felt so much pain in his heart that he couldn't even lift his head before her.

Francesca had a complex look in her eyes as she stared at Dylan for a while and finally dragged him inside saying, "Why are you so late? Aren't you usually the first one to come for your best friend? This time, you're the last one! Let my Regi wake up, I'm gonna definitely tell on you! Let's see how you explain yourself."

The tears Dylan had been holding back fell down like a stream as he looked at Francesca, "France..."

Francesca wiped his tears and sighed out, "Why are you crying? Is this your age to cry? Regi is right about you, only your body grew, otherwise you're still a crybaby!" She tutted, "Such a shame! You're making me lose face now." She turned to look at Clara and said, "Don't mind him. He is a softie. He cries at everything. In fact, he still cries when he gets an injection."

Dylan's tears fell even harder. He didn't care if someone else was in the room. He just couldn't help it. Seeing him like this Francesca shook her head and hugged him, "Didi! If you cry like this, how am I supposed to stay strong? My whole family is falling apart, and I don't know when I'll fall apart as well. So, could you please not make it more difficult for me?"

"Why don't you hit me?" he choked out. "Curse me! Beat me! Tell me to get lost!"

"Why would I do that?" she retorted.

"Because I deserve it," he replied. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all really my fault." He kept repeating his words.

Francesca placed her hand against his face and said, "I do want to slap you." Dylan looked at her but because of his tears, he only saw a blurry image. "For crying ugly before me. Such a handsome man and yet you look so ugly when you cry. Ruined my appetite for the day." Seeing how his tears weren't stopping, she went on, "Didi, none of it is your fault. None of it. If I blamed it all on you, my son would be angry with me once he wakes up."

"How is it not my fault?" asked Dylan. "Even if I didn't do it with my own hands, I still can't separate myself from this crime. The one who hurt him is my own sister. I'm related to her. And it's the relationship, I can't even deny."

"I'll say it again, this is not your fault. Stop trying to take the blame that has nothing to do with you." She took a pause before adding, "Meihui might be your blood-related sister. But my Regi called you his brother. Not just called you one, he treated you like his younger brother. Right now, I only see you as my Regi's closest friend and his dearest brother."

Dylan continued to look at her as she forced out a smile on her face, "And I was serious earlier! Is this the time for you to show up? As a brother, you should be here! I'm definitely telling on you. With me, you can get away with your ugly tears but they won't work on Regi. If you cried before him, he is gonna beat you more!"

Dylan let out a chuckled mixed with his tears as he nodded, "He definitely would make me cry more."

"It's good that you know that," said Francesca. "Aiya! You made me forget. I was going somewhere. Now, get out of my way." She looked at Clara and called, "Clara, why don't you come with me?"

Clara noticed the peculiarity and nodded her head before joining Francesca to leave the room. But before leaving Dylan alone with Darren, Francesca said, "Don't leave his side until I come back. If you dared move an inch, I won't leet you off." Dylan nodded his head. "And get rid of those tears already. Don't try to add more depression to this depressing place. Or I'm gonna throw you out as well. My son doesn't need to see your ugly tears."

Dylan pouted sadly at her and lowered his head without a word.