Imperfect Desires

Dylan actually didn't go far from the hospital. He still wanted to see his best friend. But every time he thought of taking a step closer, he'd be reminded of the time Darren shielded Xiu's body and how the blood gushed out of his wound. Each time he would feel like he was the one responsible for his best friend's condition.

Perhaps there was no one who knew better than him about the love Darren had for Xiu. Either it was Chen Xiu or Bai Xiu, he had seen his best friend losing himself before her. Even though it was the same soul, he watched his best friend fall in love with the same person twice. And each time it was harder than before.

And because he knew the dynamics between Darren and Xiu, he also knew how scared his best friend must have been seeing Xiu in danger. Darren would never be able to see Xiu getting hurt again. He would rather hurt himself than let her face any danger. If Xiu had gone through life and death, Darren hadn't been much different. Sometimes, he even thought that Darren was even more pitiful because he neither got the chance to express his love nor did he manage to save her. 

In the end, he even had to suffer alone. And his suffering was to live. Live in a world where she didn't exist anymore. People who die end their pain but the ones who are left behind have to suffer the endless torture of time. And he suffered through it all alone.

Maybe that's why he was feeling so angry right now with his sister. He already knew she was not any good but today, she really showed him just how low she could possibly go. It wasn't like he never cared about his sister, but he was tired. He was tired of trying to understand her now. The more he tried to understand her the more he felt like a sinner. It had become an endless cycle for her to act willful and expect everyone to stand up for her. As if the world owed her something.

Cali placed his coffee before him and sat down beside him as she placed her hand on his. They had come to a nearby cafe since Dylan didn't want to go home.

"Stop thinking already. Xiu sent me to you so that I can distract you. But it seems like my presence is not really helpful."

Dylan looked at her as he asked, "Xiu sent you to me?" Cali nodded her head honestly. "Why?" he frowned. "Shouldn't she be angry with me right now? I didn't stand on her side."

Cali shrugged her shoulders, "If she was so easy to read, she wouldn't be Xiu." She took a sip of her coffee and went on, "Although you didn't stand on her side, you didn't stand against her either."

"I tried to hold her back," reminded Dylan.

"I know," said Cali. "But that was only because you didn't want her to get hurt." She smiled at him reassuringly as she added, "In fact, she just doesn't want this incident to affect your relationship with Darren. So, stop beating yourself over this. In my opinion, you couldn't do much in that situation. It was Xiu's fight, and she needed to do everything on her own. She'd never blame you for this. Even if you stood against her, she'd still not blame you."

Dylan listened to her words attentively and suddenly laughed out, "How can I forget? No matter how the outer shell changes, she is still the same Xiu in her heart who is indeed an angel. Too good for this world! I hate it that she doesn't blame anyone for anything she went through. It's making me hate myself that she doesn't want to blame me for this either."

Cali didn't know what underlying meaning he had but she still agreed with his words. He indeed couldn't understand Xiu. 

He suddenly heaved a long sigh and said, "It really blew my mind when I learned who her father is."

Cali leaned back in her chair and spoke sadly, "My mind is still reeling from this information. In just a mere day, I've lost the last family member." Then she placed her hand on his arm and continued, "Now I only have you. So don't think about getting cozy with your ex-girlfriend."

Dylan's expressions changed, "When did I get cozy with her?"

"Right before I showed up," retorted Cali showing her displeasure.

"Stop overthinking it. I'd never go back the same route in my life. She's someone I left way behind." He ruffled her hair lovingly, "I've left that past a long time ago. Now, I have got nothing to do with her."

"I heard she has tricks up her sleeves and she is persistent. How else would she have gotten you back then?" Cali didn't even bother hiding her jealousy. Not even a little.

It really pleased Dylan who was feeling down. "She indeed has a lot of tricks but it won't work this time."

Cali stayed silent and continued to drink her coffee. She was thinking of something on her own and couldn't stop herself from asking, "Why is it that your mother is biased towards your sister so much?"

Dylan tapped the table as he said, "Maybe because she thinks she is responsible for the twisted personality my sister has." He looked at the cup of coffee before him as his eyes narrowed, "And she isn't wrong either. She is responsible for how Sister Meihui turned out to be. But it wasn't because she neglected Sister Meihui, it started when she began to overlook Sister Meihui's willful nature. If she had stopped her back then. None of this would have happened."

He took a brief pause and continued, "But right now I'm more worried about dad. He is in a difficult position. He has always loved his daughter more than anything. However, the person standing opposite him is his sworn brother; Xin Zimen. Uncle Zi is more than just a friend to my dad. When my dad's own family left him, he not only stood with him but also helped him reach where he is today." He let out a bitter laugh, "Because of my sister's one action, a lot of people are about to suffer. The friendships that people envied for decades are finally shaken merely because of a crazy girl's obsession."