Imperfect Desires

The doctor examined Xiu and asked her several questions. Although the doctor didn't want anyone to disturb Xiu, the latter had her own plans. She insisted to see everyone who was anxious outside so that she could ease their worries and send them back home.

At that time, the door opened and a new bed was placed right beside Xiu's. Soon, Darren was brought inside and was instructed to rest. After giving instructions, both hers and Darren's attending doctors left the room.

Darren tried hard to keep his eyes open as he smiled at Xiu and said, "Don't worry about me. I'm just gonna sleep for a while. Okay?"

Xiu nodded her head obediently, "Go to sleep. I'll take care of you."

Darren chuckled quietly, "My dearest wife, you just take care of yourself."

Xiu pursed her lips and didn't say anything as she noticed him slowly succumbing to sleep. He was almost half asleep when she called out, "Regan!"

Darren instantly opened his eyes and asked frantically, "What? What's wrong?"

Xiu shook her head and said, "Nothing... It's just that... I love you."

Darren rubbed his eyes and stared at her face, "Suddenly?"

"Why? I can't say it without a reason?" she retorted.

"No, it's not that. It's just that it's usually me who keeps repeating that."

"Maybe that's why I wanted to say it today," she replied. Looking into his grey eyes, she stressed on her words as she repeated, "I really really really love you."

A smile bloomed on Darren's face as he said, "I don't know how to prove it but I love you more."

There was a sheen of moisture in her eyes as she smiled even brightly and said, "You don't have to prove it. I already know it."

"That's good..." his voice was very low. Xiu could tell that he was really asleep now.

She continued to watch Darren's face for a long while. She smiled affectionately as she mumbled, "I'm really an idiot that I never even noticed. Rebirth was never the second chance for me. It was always you. Fate brought you into my life all over again because you're the second chance I needed. Because everything I wanted, you'd give it to me."

In fact, Xiu even had a strange inkling. What if back then, Darren hadn't been a step late? What if he came to knock on her door before she jumped down that balcony? What if he had held her back? 

What would life be like? She couldn't help thinking back. If he had come, would she really have given up on life as she did? She really doubted it. For some reason, her heart was willing to believe that if that night Darren had really come early, she'd have held on. 

She wiped the corner of her eyes and smiled to herself. Any of that didn't matter. As long as he was with her, so what if she was Chen Xiu or Bai Xiu? None of that mattered. At the end of the day, he was still the first love that came back to her even though rebirth brought them together.

 Since Chen Xiu wanted a fairytale romance, she really got her fairytale romance. So what if this tragic tale of romance began as Chen Xiu and continued on as Bai Xiu. It didn't make this tale any less beautiful. It was indeed filled with tragedy, tears, and angst but it was the love that had been helping her throughout.

"Stop looking, he won't disappear." Xiu was startled and as she looked up, she noticed Nora who was the first one to enter the room with Jackie. The little master ran over and pushed himself up on Xiu's bed before hugging her. "Easy there, little brother! She is also not gonna run anywhere."

Xiu laughed at Jackie and rubbed his head. But noticing how he was shaking, she cupped his face and looked at his face. She was dumbfounded. "My little Jack-Jack, why are you crying?"

"I'm not!" he retorted resolutely and wiped his eyes saying, "There is so much fine dust in the air."

"Oh..." Xiu obviously wasn't gonna ruin his lie so she let him be. In fact, she hugged him even tighter to reassure him that she was fine.

"Weren't you being the strong one out there? You even disdained me for worrying about your strongest sister Xiu. What happened now, crybaby?"

Jackie turned his head to glare at Nora.

Xiu patted his back and glared at Nora saying, "If you're here to spoil my little brother's mood, get lost!"

Nora raised her hands in defense as she came and sat down beside Xiu's bed. She even ruffled Jackie's hair to annoy him and said, "You okay?"

"Absolutely!" replied Xiu while kissing Jackie's face. "Look my brother's handsome face got dirty because of stupid fine dust in the air. We should do something about it." Jackie didn't reply as he continued to bury his head in the crook of her neck.

"I've contacted your psychologist. He'll be here in a couple of days. And don't say you don't need help."

Xiu listened to Nora's words and silently nodded her head. She stared at the face of Darren before turning to kiss the top of Jackie's head as she replied, "Nah. I think I do need help this time."

Nora was stunned to hear Xiu's reply. Since when did it get so easy to convince her for this? It wasn't the first time she was gonna meet a psychologist. In fact, when she lost her memories back then, Nora and her family were very stressed for her. There were many occasions when her personality would flip and she'd do something out of the ordinary. 

At that time, they only thought it was because it was hard for her to cope with the new world with no memories. But later on, they had to get professional help. It's just a pity that Xiu was always strongly against professional help and would find any or every way to escape.

"You're not kidding, right?" asked Nora cautiously.

"I'm not kidding, Nora! I need to find stability." She smiled to herself as she added, "That's the only way I can give someone a stable home."