Imperfect Desires

The moment Xiu opened her eyes, she was flabbergasted at the sight. She was lying on a clear white floor. It was blindingly white and clean that made one feel some anxiety within. She sat up and her head spun. 

She found herself surrounded by mirrors. This room only had mirrors apart from her. And every single mirror reflected her current state. She didn't wear that gown that she downed for the wedding. She was wearing the same maroon silk gown that she wore when she said goodbye to the world as Chen Xiu.

Xiu's whole body shook when she saw this. She lifted her hand and touched her face as she stared back at herself through the mirror. The face reflected in the mirror was definitely Bai Xiu's but the things on her body were Chen Xiu's.

For instance, those signature earrings that she used to wear in her childhood that had 'Xiu' carved on it beautifully. Also, the maroon silk gown that she loved. And even the charm bracelet on her wrist.

She didn't know for how long she stared at her own reflection but she knew that the longer she looked, the calmer she got. It was strange but she never thought one day she wouldn't find looking in the mirror strange like she first did. Even the things on her body didn't seem odd at all. It felt like a part of her now. 

If one combined Destiny and Chen Xiu, wouldn't this be the picture? One's soul and one's skin?

'Shhh!'

Xiu's brows moved when she felt like she heard something. She turned her head and looked around. But except for her own reflections all around, she saw nothing else. Was she hallucinating? 

'Shh!'

Xiu looked again. This time she even tried to knock on each mirror as if trying to see if there was a door. Or maybe it was a two-way mirror and someone was able to see her from the other side.

"Who is it?" she questioned when she couldn't find an escape. She was calmer than any normal person who would find himself in a situation with no way out. In fact, Xiu was really very calm in her heart. The reason was simple, she had realized it wasn't real.

There was no way she was willing to believe that someone kidnapped her in the presence of her Regan. Her heart would never allow her to doubt him. 

With her clear mind, she even knew that she was supposed to open her eyes in a hospital room. She was very clear about her circumstances. But if she didn't, that means she hadn't woken up yet. That's the only explanation she was willing to believe right now.

'Don't you already know me?' 

Xiu's eyed moved, trying to find out where that voice came from. She still didn't find any abnormality. But the voice sounded familiar. As if she heard it every single day. How strange! "What are you? God? Deity or Demon? Angel or a Devil? Or maybe Grim Reaper?"

'None of the above.'

Xiu rolled her eyes in a languid manner, "Then what technology is making you invisible?" 

Xiu heard a peal of soft laughter that even made her relax instead of making her anxious. Her lips also curled up slightly. 

'I'm not invisible though. You can already see me.'

Xiu frowned and moved in a circle, "I can't."

'That means you're looking at the wrong place for me.'

"What?" 

'Look here. I'm right here.'

Xiu moved around again, "Where? Where is this here exactly?"

'Stop!' Xiu stopped moving her eyes around frantically. 'Look.'

"What am I supposed to be looking...?" Xiu stopped talking as soon as her eyes zoomed on her own reflection. She was definitely standing still, why was her reflection moving? Xiu lifted her hand and slapped herself on the face as she muttered, "I can't believe I'm drunk even in my dreams now."

'Sister Xiu, aren't you focusing on the wrong thing?'

Xiu's eyes widened. Only now, she figured where she heard the voice. She might be unfamiliar with this voice five years ago but now, she was most familiar with this voice. Wasn't that her own voice? Xiu felt like something clicked in her brain as she called out softly, "Destiny..."

She watched how her reflection smiled with an adoring gaze directed towards her. 'You don't look very surprised. I guess you already noticed the inconsistency. Didn't you?'

Xiu lowered her eyes before nodding her head. She might have thought it to be a coincidence once or twice. But she had come to a conclusion a while ago. It's just she didn't want to believe in her own conclusion.

"Your soul never left this body..." Xiu spoke in a very low voice.

It sounded bizarre but so did her rebirth. In fact, the first time she was made aware of Destiny's soul was back when she first opened her eyes in this body. Back then she spent day in day out suffering from a crushing pain while running in a mirror maze like the lost soul that she was. Until one day when she sat down tired, someone offered a hand.

Wasn't it that hand that led her to a new light? Or in other words, to this new life? She'd still be lost in that maze if it wasn't for that hand. 

To be honest, Xiu never really thought too much about it. But the second time she felt another presence was when she was locked in the elevator. The feeling of soul crunching pain and the suffocation she felt was so real that she felt like she was experiencing it herself. 

Later on, this feeling of having another 'personality' grew stronger. And many incidents just made that feeling more concrete.

Xiu looked up at her reflection as she asked, "You want your life back?"

The person reflected in the mirror had a complicated look in her eyes as she softly smiled and shook her head, 'I'm glad you're aware of my presence but you're wrong.'

"What?" Xiu was feeling even more complicated in her heart. Even though she always felt indebted to Destiny, was she really ready to give up this life?

'The soul has long departed... It's the unresolved fragments that are left behind.'