Imperfect Desires

That was the first time Liu Nuan faced the same treatment from her mother that her mother gave others because of her. It was truly like what goes around, comes around. Since she'd always been gloating seeing how her mother pampered her and settled every person against her, she had to face the consequences of that pride as well. Now she couldn't even look at her mother without trembling.

That night, she had almost lost her life. And the shortage of oxygen made her brain processing slower that's why the only dialogue she heard between Liu Mingfan and Xin Suyin was when the latter said, she'd kill her right before Liu Mingfan.

Describing it as fear would be an understatement. Because the fear slowly crawled into her bones. The day Chen Xiu committed suicide, she didn't know what went wrong with her mother but Xin Suyin was hysterical as she screamed and broke everything in the house. Later, she slapped Liu Nuan until her face swollen up like a pig. But even when she bled, Xin Suyin wasn't willing to let go.

If it wasn't for her father... She could hardly imagine what would have happened.

After that incident, her mother became totally indifferent. At her in-laws' home, she was abandoned by her husband. And at her own parent's home, she was hated by her mother. She really felt like Chen Xiu's death put a noose around her neck and slowly, it was tightening, trying to suffocate her. But the suffocation wasn't enough to kill her, but it was neither enough to let her breathe in peace as well.

She had hidden all of this from Qiu Meihui. In fact, she had never spoken a word about any of it with anyone else. She had always felt proud whenever Qiu Meihui talked about her dissatisfaction with her own mother. But now she couldn't do the same at all. Because at least, Qiu Meihui's mother didn't wish to kill her.

"Now that we do have time, how about spending some time with your mother, dear daughter?"

Liu Nuan's eyes widened as her body shuddered once again. She could clearly hear the killing intent in those simple words.

"Mom, don't you have to meet the guests here?" she could even go on her knees if she could find a way out of spending time alone with her mother.

Xin Suyin walked up and held her arm saying, "My daughter is my priority."

Qiu Meihui laughed at this, completely oblivious to the real situation, she said, "Go on, Nuannuan. I'll call you if I need you. Spend some time with auntie."

Liu Nuan looked at her best friend helplessly before she was dragged away by Xin Suyin. The grip around her arm was so tight that she felt like the flow of blood had stopped already however, she still didn't dare make a sound.

Xin Suyin brought her to a corner and flung her arm away making Liu Nuan crash into the wall. Her head bumped into the wall but she didn't even hiss loudly. 

"Are you that eager to die?" Liu Nuan turned around to look at her as she went on, "If I'm keeping my distance from you, shouldn't you be happy about it? Why are you courting death by missing me?"

"Mom--"

Her words were still in her throat when Xin Suyin pinched her face saying, "I've warned you several times, don't call me that. I'm not your mother!"

Liu Nuan's tears fell down, both from the physical pain and the emotional one. 

"And here you go on..." Xin Suyin loosened her group and stepped back. "Can you do anything other than crying?" She paused, "I can't believe that I raised a useless person like you. Without me, you're nothing. Since the time, I walked away from you, you got nowhere. But do you really think that those tears will solve everything for you? You're clearly mistaken!"

Even though Xin Suyin tried to appear as she usually was, one with deep perception could actually see the change in her. The change wasn't intentional. It was like vicissitudes of life really broke her. 

And it was true as well.

When she learned about Chen Xiu's death only then did she found out what the real meaning of crushing defeat meant. Every time she looked at Liu Nuan, it was like someone roared in her ear, 'Look! For this girl, you drove your daughter to death! You killed Chen Xiu! You did!!' The worst part was that she could never refute those words.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I warned you before, I'm doing it for the last time, don't show me your face. Whenever I look at your face, I want to strangle you to death!"

"But you're already killing me," retorted Liu Nuan. "Every time you talk to me like this, it breaks my heart. What have I done wrong to deserve this? What crime have I committed? Why do you hate me so much?"

The memory of Chen Xiu shouting the same words flashed past her mind making Xin Suyin feel like her brain was about to split open. In her rage, she clutched the hair of Liu Nuan. "Your crime? Even if I tell you, how will you wash it clean? You can't do anything about it. You can't do anything other than crying and that won't fix anything! So, don't make me say it either. Because once I repeated it out loud, I won't be able to watch you breathe again!"

With those words, she harrumphed and walked away leaving Liu Nuan crying in the corner on her own. It took a while to compose herself. She opened her pouch to take out the mirror to fix her makeup but the face reflected in the mirror made her stunned.

She whipped her head around and looked at her husband, Zhou Jinhai. She didn't know since when he had been there. But it didn't seem like he just came over. With his back leaning against the wall, he was languidly drinking his flute with a smile playing on his lips.

"Jin-hai!" her voice broke as she called out to him in despair.

Zhou Jinhai however shook his head and with a click of his tongue turned around to leave her pathetic self to suffer alone.