Imperfect Desires

Zhou Jinhai was left stumped for words, momentarily. The way she said it... He knew it was wrong. He never had any such thought but what if she was right? What if he was indeed selfish? Why did he wait so long for Darren to come to him? He could have easily gone to him. In his heart, he knew he never wanted to take anything that belonged to Darren. However, was there really a selfish part of him that wanted to hold on to everything that he was born with?

Xiu didn't even realize just how greatly she shook Zhou Jinhai with just a few words. She wasn't really trying to get back at him for anything by doing this. In fact, in her opinion, she merely stated the facts. As a wife, it was all the more necessary for her to make it clear what she thought of her husband.

"No wonder you make such a perfect pair with my brother," stated Zhou Jinhai in a soft voice. "You both have a sharp tongue. And you both know how to hurt."

"It wasn't my intention," replied Xiu. "I just said what I thought."

Zhou Jinhai nodded, "Exactly my point. You both don't care what these straightforward words' of yours might do to the other person." He exhaled a breath heavily as he continued, "By the way, do you think if I ever went to Darren, he'd take anything from me?"

Xiu didn't even have to think about this to answer, "No. My Regan doesn't like taking anything that doesn't belong to him. He'd rather not have anything at all than take what isn't his."

Zhou Jinhai was a little surprised to see the subtle smile that reflected in her eyes as she talked about Darren. It was so obvious that it could make one feel envious. But he felt really relaxed knowing that Xiu knew his brother so well. But a part of him felt empty as well seeing that pure endearment in Xiu's eyes. 

"I also used to think he'd never ask for anything," said Zhou Jinhai in a very low voice, heavy with emotion. "It's a pity that he asked for something even I couldn't give him." He looked at the ceiling as a distant memory flashed past his eyes...

'You said you'd give me anything I want. Whatever I ask for, as my elder brother, you'd give that to me. Didn't you?' Darren's eyes were bloodshot and swollen. It was easy to see how much he had cried.

'Of course, I'd do anything for you. Tell me what you want?' Zhou Jinhai had asked.

'Bring Chen Xiu back to life.' Zhou Jinhai's whole person was shook listening to his younger brother's request. 'That's all I want. Can you do that? Can you bring back her smile that gave hope to millions? Can you?'

'Darren...'

He tried to hold Darren's shoulder but the latter threw him off and shoved him saying, 'No, you can't! You can't bring back the person that brought a new light of hope in my life. You can't bring back that girl who shined brighter than any star in the sky. Because you're the reason, that star is no longer between us.'

Zhou Jinhai had no way to retort. He didn't know how to answer his brother. And that was the first and last time, his brother had asked him for something or rather someone but he wasn't capable of doing anything for him. Because at the end of the day, he was the reason that destroyed Chen Xiu. Whether he did it himself or people did it because of him, did it make a difference? It really didn't. 

After all, the only truth remained was that... Chen Xiu was no longer alive.

Xiu frowned at his words but didn't question what he was referring to. Neither did she try to disturb his daydreaming. The matters between Zhou Jinhai and Darren weren't something Xiu wanted to probe in. Although probing into others' matters was becoming a habit she needed to get rid of. But she couldn't really help it. She still wanted to help everyone she could. 

If that really made her a bad person all over again than so be it! But the last thing she wanted was to see a person close to her getting hurt. 

"I think I should take my leav-"

"Congratulations on getting married!"

Xiu's words were left hanging as Zhou Jinhai all of a sudden congratulated her. She stared right at his face with her eyes wide open in shock. 

"Although I'm a little hurt knowing that you both didn't invite me, the only consolation is that you guys didn't invite anyone else either."

"How do you know we got married?" Xiu really wanted to know why everyone was giving her surprises today. First, Zhao Huan knowing about her pregnancy and now Zhou Jinhai knowing about her marriage. Both were equally unexpected coming from these two people. That really forced Xiu to work her brain. 

Was she not paying attention lately? Just what really was up around here?

"Hubby!"

Before Xiu could force some answers out of Zhou Jinhai, a sickly sweet voice made her cringe inwardly. She looked over at Liu Nuan coming their way and sighed, "It seems you're in trouble, Mr. Zhou."

Zhou Jinhai didn't even bother looking over at Liu Nuan as he replied, "You should go back to your husband's side."

Xiu raised her brow at him while Liu Nuan came to hold Zhou Jinhai's arm which he threw off, not so very gently as he gave her a warning look. Of course, Liu Nuan covered up her hurt look like a professional white lotus. 

Plastering a smile on her face, she spoke, "I was just wondering what Ms. Bai was talking about with my husband all alone."

Xiu snorted, "Are you sick in your head?" Liu Nuan's smile stiffened at Xiu's blunt words. "If we wanted you to know, you wouldn't have been excluded from this conversation in the first place." Xiu didn't know why but her heart really didn't feel like keeping up the pretense of being nice around Liu Nuan. Maybe it was the so called mood swings during pregnancy but she felt really repulsed around Liu Nuan.

"Are you being rude here?" retorted Liu Nuan trying to keep her composure. "But I can't really blame you. I heard you're an orphan. No one must have taught you the manners of how to talk to someone older than you."