Imperfect Desires

Tonight was supposed to be a simple dinner with his new neighbors but this night became entirely something else to Darren. He was happy, sad, and felt a bit adventurous trying to coax the drunk Xiu. All in all, every moment was something that carved itself in Darren's memory perfectly.

With a towel in his hand, he was drying his hair after the shower with a lingering smile that was left behind as a reminder of the events that conspired tonight. In his walk-in closet, he parted the hanging coat jackets with his hands and picked up a mahogany box which was no bigger than a shoebox. 

He took the box and sat at the edge of his bed. He kept staring at the box in his hands for a long while with a complicated expression. It wouldn't be wrong to say that he was afraid; Afraid to open that box of memories. But he still did. 

What lied inside were indeed memories that he most cherished and yet those memories scared him as well. Because the person who gave him those memories was no longer around. He pulled out a black envelope; It was an invitation card to Golden Phoenix Awards.

Staring blankly at the invite, he was lost in the memory of that night...

*Flashback*

In the airport waiting area, he was going through his new designs on his laptop when his cellphone's message alert came. He ignored it completely. But his cellphone rang again but this time it was an alert from his WeChat.

Darren immediately picked up his cellphone knowing well enough who texted him. After all, there was only one person who had his WeChat details.

He unlocked the phone screen and read the text: [Knock, Knock!]

The corner of his mouth quirked up as he replied: [Who's there?]

The reply came instantly: [Wine.]

Darren shook his head and asked: [Wine who?]

[Wine Xiu! Hahaha! *Wink emoji*] Reading the next reply, Darren rolled his eyes but couldn't help chuckling.

Darren: [Are you drunk texting me again?] 

[Woooah! I'm not drunk. I'm just being awesome!] Darren facepalmed himself. Was it difficult to guess that she was drunk even after this reply? She always talked about wine when she was drunk. 

Darren: [Yes, and the awesome you is now drunk on wine. Because Goddess Xiu always drinks when she is upset.]

The next reply came after three minutes: [Why would I be upset? I just won three awards at the Golden Phoenix Awards. I should be happy.]

Darren: [You should be happy. But... Are you? Are you really happy?] When no answer came, he typed another text: [Do you think the wine will make you happy?]

[Oi! I sent you the invite, why didn't you come?] Obviously, she was trying to avoid answering his question. [Aiya! You didn't even come to cheer me.]

Darren: [How can you say I wasn't there?]

Goddess Xiu: [*shocked face emoji* You came? Why didn't I see you?] 

Darren: [There is a certain CEO in your life. With him around, can you really see an insignificant me?]

Goddess Xiu: [*grimacing emoji* Now you're taunting me.]

Darren: [I wouldn't dare. Anyways, what are you doing? I mean other than being a drunk wreck.]

 Xiu's reply was a voice message next as she slurred, [I'm looking for my hangover shirt. But I can't find it.] She sounded really depressed as she complained.

Darren: [Are you sure, you're not wearing your hangover shirt?]

The next voice message was filled with her hearty laughter. [How silly I am! I'm really wearing the shirt.]

Darren rolled his eyes at her again as he mused, 'As if I didn't know that.' Then he typed the next message: [By the way, my best friend told me the other day that hangover is a cheap word. We should be classy and call it wine flu.]

Goddess Xiu: [I like the sound of that. Wine Xiu is suffering from Wine Flu. That has a nice ring to it.] Before he could send his reply, she sent another voice message. [Welcome! I'm Wine Xiu with a Wine Flu. Today's specials for Wine Xiu are being an emotional and drunken wreck, lack of sleep and then some more lack of sleep. Also, our last special is low patience. Thank you very much for visiting. Please come again!]

Darren: [There is something missing in your today's specials.]

Goddess Xiu: [What?]

Darren: [Aren't you gonna sing?]

Goddess Xiu: [Ah! I totally forgot that. Let's do it. Would you like to hear a bit?]

Darren: [It'd be my honor.]

Xiu had a habit of singing whenever she was drunk. And Darren was one of those rare people who actually knew how much Xiu loved to sing. But she never wanted to sing for people or to make money from it and that's why she kept this secret in her heart.

Darren waited for a couple of minutes and her voice message came. He played and a soft humming sound could be heard. 

[♪♫ I saw the light in your eyes

I saw my life in your eyes

I took you for my destiny

Why are you becoming

just like my fantasy? ♪♫] 

Her voice broke at the end. There was nothing soothing in her voice that day. All he heard or felt was the pain in her voice that she was trying to wash down with the wine. However, the wine only added more pain to her heart and her voice. 

But why was the pain prickling his own heart? Why was that voice so painful to him? If only he could have understood the reason a bit sooner.

*End of the Flashback*

 Darren slowly opened his eyes and dropped the invitation card back inside the box with a heavy sigh. As he had told her, he had indeed attended the awards function at that time. He was supposed to meet the investors that very day but he still came for her. Only because she asked him to.

Even though there was a possibility that he might never get a chance to showcase his talent every again, he took that risk for her sake.

He hated it when she was upset but the funny thing was Chen Xiu; The Nation's Goddess was always upset. However, no one bothered to ask her if she was really okay. There were thousands of photos of her on the internet till date but he still couldn't find the one where she laughed with all her heart.