Imperfect Desires

-Xin Villa-

With a book in his hands, Xin Zimen was half-lying on the chaise sofa in the living area. However, his mind wasn't on the words of the books, his thoughts had long been wandering off to places, he couldn't even understand. 

"Xiao Zi, go to bed."

Xin Zimen didn't even lift his eyes as he replied, "Brother Kuan, even if I go to bed now, I won't be able to sleep." He closed his book and looked up, "You should stop worrying about me and go up to rest."

Xin Kuan rubbed his temples as he said, "How am I supposed to face my mistress in the afterlife? She asked me to take care of you."

"I'm not a kid, I can take care of myself. Besides, I'm absolutely fine."

"I don't know why but I think you're getting difficult these days," said Xin Kuan in a temper as he strode off leaving Xin Zimen alone in the living room.

He had just opened the book again when the maid called out, "Sir, Mr. Xin Zemin is here to see you."

Xin Zimen frowned at looked at the time on the wall clock before saying, "Send him away. It's no time to visit someone's home!"

Before the maid could take back his reply, another voice rang from behind her. "But it's the only time I can find you home." Xin Zemin walked over without any hesitation and sat opposite his brother. "Ah-Zi, how are you?"

"What is wrong with you?" Xin Zimen's face was passive but one could hear the sharpness in his voice. "You know I don't like seeing you, then why are you constantly coming back here?"

"I haven't seen my brother in two years and it reminded me how much I really missed you. So, instead of following your advice and staying away from you, I'm gonna come here again and again to see you."

Hearing his elder brother's response, Xin Zimen was at a loss. This was his third visit in the past four days! He really wasn't used to seeing his elder brother this often. It brought up some complicated feelings that he'd like to stay away from. Moreover, he'd always get agitated seeing his brother. 

"Are you sure that you're not just trying to annoy me?" 

His elder brother gave him a light and vague smile before turning towards the maid as he said, "I'd like to have some Longjing tea. Thank you!"

The maid was at a loss as she stared at her boss for some kind of response. Xin Zimen, seeing that his brother had already decided to stick around, looked at the maid, and nodded. The maid finally bowed her head and left the two brothers. 

During the time the tea was being prepared, both brothers were as always sitting in silence. Even when the maid came back to serve the tea, she could feel the tension in the air. They both had such a strong presence that it was frightening her. Especially, the underlying dangers behind their silence. They were like in a silent argument.

Xin Zemin took the porcelain teacup and took a sip elegantly before commenting, "Hmm... This is good."

However, Zizi wasn't very interested in saying anything. So, he continued to stare at his brother's face this time around. He didn't even bother to pretend that he was reading. Because this time around, he was solely focused on his elder brother. He wanted to see what he was up to and why he was coming back to see him again and again. There was no way he'd believe that his elder brother's so often visits had no hidden agenda.

"Little brother, do you have facial paralysis?" Xin Zimen quirked his brow up as his elder brother went on, "How come there is not a single expression on your face? Are you afraid to get wrinkles?"

"Can you get to business? I hate people who waste my time." Xin Zimen's reply was cutting and on point as always.

"Didn't I teach you, value people, not time?"

Xin Zimen sat up as he answered, "Since you taught it, I've all the more reason to not follow that advice!"

Before his elder brother could say anything to him, there was a bang at the door...

"Ah-Xin!"

That voice almost startled Xin Zimen. He turned his head and stared at the girl who was fuming in the doorway. Xiu's eyes were like fire was coming out of them as she glared at Xin Zimen. He was really taken aback by this. Why did he have a deja vu feeling? He craned his head and looked her up and down, after confirming that she wasn't holding her baseball bat, he finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Xiu walked up to his side and with her hands over her hips, glared at him. "You!" She lifted her hand as if wanted to pull his ear and Xin Zimen ended up flinching back in surprise. "I didn't even touch it yet."

"Oh." He sat up straight and pressed his lips together. "What's up, little lass? Why do you look so scary right now?"

"Because I'm angry," she shot back! 

"Why?" he asked instinctively.

"You!" Xiu really didn't know what to do. It's not as if he was a kid whom she could beat up. She respected him a lot and couldn't bring herself to do anything. "Hold your ears."

"Huh?" Xin Zimen was dumbfounded.

"Do it!" 

"Oh... Okay."

He obediently held his ears. It reminded him of those days when he would laugh at his wife for getting this punishment in school. Who knew he'd be getting it one day and that too, in this sort of way. However, it brought a nostalgic feeling to him and he couldn't help smiling softly.

"Aiyo! You're still happy? I'm very serious about this punishment!?

"I can tell," replied Xin Zimen in all seriousness. "But I'm wondering why I'm getting punished? What did I do?"

"You don't know?!"

Xin Zimen shook his head, "If I did, I wouldn't be asking you this. I really don't know what I did."

"Then why did you accept the punishment?"

"Because of you," he answered straightforwardly.

Xiu's fiery temper was suddenly extinguished with cold water. She sighed out, "Ah-Xin, I brought you a cake yesterday to say thanks and you said it's not necessary. You also said, there is no need for thank yous in the family. I believe that means you accept me like family."

"I genuinely do take you as a family," he was very sincere with his words and even Xiu couldn't deny that she could see his sincerity. All the more reason that she felt so upset for being oblivious.

"Then why didn't you tell me that you had been sick?" she questioned with a pained look. 

Her question caught him off-guard as he stared at her face for a long time before saying, "I didn't think it was important."

"How is it not important, Ah-Xin?!" exclaimed Xiu helplessly. "I called you twice on Monday and yet you hid the fact that you had a fever."

"But it was merely a fever," he argued back. "It wasn't even anything major. Why would I ruin your big day just because of such a minor thing?"

"I can't believe you take your health that unseriously," Xiu was furious again. "Just a fever? Would you only care if it's something serious? Won't you pay attention to yourself before that happens?"

"Little lass, calm down. Your face is turning red. Take a deep breath."

"I don't want to!"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I was wrong. Take a seat." He poured her a glass of water and added, "Drink it all. And relax. I accept. I was really really wrong."

"You don't mean it at all!"

"Of course I mean it," Xin Zimen didn't know what to say or do in this situation. He was truly feeling at a loss. He always felt helpless before this girl and it was truly showing how helpless he was before this pouting expression of hers. She truly was hurt knowing that he didn't tell her anything about his fever. 

After drinking the water, she again started, "Even when we met yesterday, you didn't bother telling me about it. Is this what your sincerity is like? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to see you frowning like this. Didn't anyone tell you that smile suits you the best? How can I bring myself to hurt you?" He took a pause before adding, "And let's face it. If this all happened again, I'd still choose to hide it from you. Monday was the biggest day of your life, even if I get countless chances, I'd still not spoil it for you. Not at any cost!"

Xiu was left so confused with his answer that she didn't know what to say now. He was thinking about her happiness and she was thinking about him. As for why it affected her so much, who knew? She definitely didn't need a definite answer for this question.