Imperfect Desires

Ying was flabbergasted by his accusation. The way he said that she hurt him almost made her believe for a second that she did it. But then she reminded herself that it wasn't possible at all.

"Don't throw accusations at me," she stated roughly.

"But you did hurt me and said you'd take responsibility as well..." he mumbled to himself and crossed his arms against his chest as if he was wronged. 

"What are you muttering to yourself?"

Han Bohai looked at her and changed his words, "I was wondering if you have alcohol amnesia."

"I don't drink alcohol though," replied Ying. She was not fond of alcohol and she was a bad drinker on top of that. So, she usually avoided alcohol at any cost. "But why are you asking that?"

He blankly stared into the distance as he replied, "Forget it. You don't even remember. It's pointless bringing it up now."

They both sat in silence and both of them didn't feel the need to talk either. Somehow the silence was growing comfortable between them. However, Ying found it quite strange since she was not such a silent person. She always had the urge to talk. But with Han Bohai, she felt like it wasn't needed. Words weren't needed at all.

But why was she feeling like this?

Ying finally broke this tranquil silence as she said, "I hope I returned the favor I owed." He glanced at her as she went on, "I know the food wasn't comparable to the delicacies you have tasted before but..."

"You're still trying to get rid of me?" He interrupted her words and snickered, "Do you hate the sight of me that much?"

"Hate is a strong word and a very strong emotion. I don't fancy it that much." retorted Ying blankly. "As for why I'm trying to shake you off, isn't it obvious?"

"It's not obvious to me. Care to enlighten me?"

"I don't want you to waste your time on me. You're a celebrity with countless admirers."

"Just because I have countless admirers, I don't have the right to admire someone?" 

His words left her speechless and she closed her mouth. Of course, that's not what she meant to say. Every person has the right to like whoever they want. Who was she to deny that? She wasn't even able to refuse the love Xiaoli had for Meihui.

"That's not what I meant. Even if you have feelings for me, it can't be that strong that you can't let go of it. It's still time, think about it. You shouldn't be wasting your time or your feelings on me."

"Isn't that up to me?" inquired Han Bohai while his brows raised slightly. "It's my time, my feelings."

Ying was exasperated by not just his words but also by the look in his eyes. "Why are you so insistent on it?"

"Because I don't like taking anything for granted in my life anymore."

"What?"

"Those who died yesterday had plans for today. Those who died this morning had plans for tonight." Ying was left gaping at him as he continued, "Everything is bound to change in the blink of an eye. So forgive often and love with all your heart and never shy away from saying or doing what you want. We might never get the chance to do it all over again."

"Why are you being so serious about it?" Ying tried to laugh it off playfully but she couldn't deny that his words hit a spot she even didn't know existed. 

"Did I say anything wrong though? You have no guarantee of your next breath, so why are you wasting it in thinking?" He took a pause as he continued, "Don't try to joke about it as I did. Because by the time I understood the meaning of her words, she was long gone." His hands clenched instinctively as he closed his eyes. 

That was something his Sister Xiu had said to him when he met her for the last time. If he knew that was the last time he was gonna see her smiling, he would have done anything to stop her. But she ended up teaching him one thing for certain, life was too short to mull over past or future. If the present was all he had, why was he not shaping that present how his heart desired?

"It's not that I want to force you or anything," he began again. "I'm not even trying to be a nuisance even if I say I am. It's just that I'm listening to my heart. It's not my fault that my heart wants to keep following you."

"You know nothing about me," said Ying with a heavy tone.

He smiled at her, "Indeed. I don't know much but... Who said love had such prerequisites? You know, the heart doesn't believe in thinking as our mind does. Heart believes in giving us signals."

"Signals?" she repeated with knitted brows.

He took her hand in his own and brought it to his own chest. She tried to take it back but he didn't let her. It was undeniable that his muscle strength wasn't just an exaggeration. He could really put up a fight with her. And Ying might have gotten into a fight if she wasn't startled.

The moment her hand laid flat on his chest, she could feel it...

Thump! Thump!

Her eyes lifted to his face as he said, "Do you see what you do to me?"

"I'm the reason your heart is beating so fast?" she asked in amusement and seeing him nod, she ended up laughing at his face.

Seeing her laughing, he was starstruck and his heartbeat fastened even more. Ying's smile vanished since her hand was still over his heart, she could feel it all too well. She pulled her hand back and avoided his eyes.

While him being his usual self, he clutched his chest and said, "Don't attack me with that smile so suddenly. At least, give me a warning."

Ying rolled her eyes at his reaction and pushed him. She almost pushed him off the car's roof but held his collar to push him back saying, "Don't play around or I'll stuff you somewhere no one will ever find you."

"If that somewhere is your heart, I don't mind being stuffed."

"You!"

"Hahahaha!"