Imperfect Desires

-Xin Villa-

After talking to his son, Xin Zimen had locked himself in his study. When it was close to the dinner time, he heard a light knock at his door before the door was pushed open and a dainty neck poked inside.

"May I?" 

Xin Zimen looked at Xiu's eyes that were sparkling strangely as he nodded and allowed her to enter. After entering the study, Xiu walked around languidly without a care in the world. It was only natural that she had remembered this place from her last visit.

Neither Xin Zimen said anything to stop her from touching his things, nor did Xiu held herself back. If the owner himself didn't mind her presence, she certainly was gonna do anything to curb her curiosity about a few certain things.

However, all this while, Xin Zimen's eyes followed her figure with narrowed eyes while his fingers tapped at his handrest rhythmically. 

"Xiao Zi, did I mention that you have a beautiful house?"

His fingers halted as he pursed his lips before voicing out, "Little lass, say what you really have to say. There is no point in dragging this anymore."

Xiu stopped pacing around and looked at him with a smirk on her lips. "Don't you get tired?" His brows shot up inquisitively and she added, "I mean, you're always reading between the lines. Reading every expression and figuring people out. Isn't it tiring?"

Xin Zimen placed his elbows on the desk and the fingers of his both hands intertwined with each other as he said, "I grew up trying to distinguish between a friend and a foe. Reading people has become a..."

"A habit?" Xiu offered a word from her vocabulary and frowned when he shook his head.

"Instead of calling it a habit, I'd call it instinct." He paused briefly before adding, "So, tell me what is it? What do you have to say? Or what do you have to ask?"

Xiu pulled a chair and sat down before him. "If you're being this frank then I guess I have no need to hold back either." He stayed silent as if allowing her to talk. He really was curious to know what she had to say. And somehow, he already knew why she was here. And his inkling proved to be right when she went on, "Why did you ask Ying Jie to follow me?"

Xiu had expected to see his face shocked. After all, Ying never told her who was behind her. She indeed wanted to see an expression but the one she received went against her imagination again because instead of staring at her with wide eyes, he was looking at her with a gentle gaze and a slight curve to his lips. 

Xiu furrowed her brows a bit unpleasantly, "You're the one who asked her to follow me, right?"

"Yes," he replied straightforwardly, and seeing how she nodded believing him, he questioned, "You believed it so easily?"

"I've finally managed to understand you a bit. If you aren't willing to tell the truth you'd rather stay quiet instead. I guess you don't like lying."

Xin Zimen smiled at her again. 

"You know most often people assume that I don't set my priorities straight but it's not true. Not completely."

"Oh? How is that so?" he wondered.

"I have so much going on in my life that it's becoming difficult for me to keep my mind sane. Perhaps, my idea of solving one thing at a time isn't favored by many but that's my way to cope with this reality of mine." Xiu didn't know why she told this truth to him. Even though she didn't explain her situation, her eyes were enough to express her struggle. Having to fight with her own bad memories and the one that belonged to a completely different person, wasn't something anyone could take lightly. 

Until now, Xiu had used up all her means to distract herself to keep herself sane. But she really didn't know for how long she was gonna able to hold on now. With each letter, the overwhelming feelings of Destiny and her emotions were getting to her. Even if she tried to keep up the pretense of a strong and cold person, in reality, she was still that pure and kind-hearted Chen Xiu at heart. She wasn't immune to the emotions of Destiny. In fact, Destiny's reminder was making her feel guilty.

The deeper she understood Destiny, the deeper her own heart was being scared for having this second chance at life. Her biggest question was, why her? Destiny wanted to live while Chen Xiu wanted to die, then why this twist of fate?

 "So, Xiao Zi, please tell me what connection do you share with Destiny Novell's father?"

Now, with that question, Xiu finally caught a flicker of emotion in his eyes. Her conjecture was actually straightforward. Even when she showed herself as ignorant, there was a lot that she couldn't overlook. 

Xin Zimen pondered over her words while his eyes didn't waver as he stared straight into her eyes. Xiu didn't back off either. She was willing to look challengingly and urgingly back at his eyes. There were too many unanswered things in her life. 

"You don't know who your father is?" he questioned after a moment of silence.

"If I did, I wouldn't be standing here. In fact, even if I do know who he is, I can't recollect that memory of mine. I believe you already know about my amnesia."

He sighed out heavily, "So, tell me... Which one do you want me to answer? Should I tell how I know your father or should I tell you who your father is?"

"Both," she replied firmly.

"What are you gonna do with this knowledge? Because if you're planning to go look for him, I won't allow it. Until and unless you have recovered your memories to tell me why you suddenly lost your memories in the first place."

Xiu frowned at his words slightly, "Do you have some suspicions?" He nodded his head without hesitation. "Are you worried about me?" 

Xin Zimen chuckled ever so softly as he said, "It might sound weird but I am worried."

"Then don't worry. I don't plan on finding him just yet. I just feel like this is something I should know now."

"Alright then... I'll tell you all about it."