Imperfect Desires

"For an aperitif, I think French 75 will be good. For the entree, French onion soup."

"Madame, tonight's plat du jour - chicken paillard and Blanquette de Veau (Veal in Cream Sauce). Would you like to try?"

"Okay. And for dessert, Chestnut Pear Tatin. Hmm..." Francesca's eyes skimmed over the menu once again before she closed it and said, "I think I'm done. Xiu, do you want anything else?"

"I'll take winter salad with buttermilk cream. Thank you!" Saying that Xiu passed the menu back and smiled politely. 

The server took the order and walked away leaving Xiu to admire the soft but soulful French music playing in the background. Xiu had never been to this restaurant but the classic and simple style reminded her of a beautiful French dinner party. The light grey linen tablecloths adorned with glowing candles along with white plates and mismatched silver flatware. It was indeed a very comfortable place for dining.

"You seem to know a lot about French cuisine," Xiu began softly, and seeing how Francesca looked at her, she added, "Mom."

"That's better. Try saying that more often. You'll get used to it." Xiu smiled slightly in response. "And of course, I know a lot about French cuisine. It reminds me of home." Xiu's brows quirked up as she continued, "My mother was from France and the irony is, she named me Francesca."

Xu giggled softly at the way she said it. She really was a funny woman. 

The dinner was a quiet affair for Xiu only, mostly because Xiu was lost in her own world. But just because Xiu was silent, Francesca wasn't. She had been telling Xiu stories of all kinds to which Xiu only responded in mono-syllables.

"Something's bothering you?" asked Francesca when she noticed Xiu was only playing with her food rather than eating it. Xiu looked up and saw her concerned eyes, she was a bit startled. "You can say anything you want."

"If I really said what's on my mind, you'll start calling me crazy," said Xiu.

"But I already know that you're crazy." Xiu gaped slightly at her response. "Everyone told me what kind of a person you are. Even Brother Zi said that you say the most random stuff at the most random time with the most random feel to it. Wow! That's a lot of random there."

Xiu couldn't hold back her chuckle. Her words helped her in easing up a little.

"Actually, I had been wondering why everyone likes me?" Now it was Francesca's turn to gape in disbelief. There was a person like Xiu who had a problem with people liking her? "Don't take me wrong. I'm not complaining. It's just that... Let's be real, not everyone in our life can like us." Xiu was talking from experience. "I've gone through a phase where I did everything to please people. But the more I wanted them to like me, they somehow found faults within me. So, I'm not sure why you all think I'm good."

Francesca was listening to her silently and attentively. 

"I was actually certain that the people around Regan would not like me." She was still in disbelief that from Zhao Weiwei to Francesca Salvay, everyone turned out to like her a lot. They all made her feel welcomed and loved. They all showed concern for her. It was frightening for her who was not really used to this. "I'm just scared that you all will realize that I'm not worth it but by the time you realize it, I'd be too used to everything."

Today, she had come to think of it because of all those ads she saw on her way here. Once upon a time, it was her face on those screens and everyone loved her. But then they all realized she wasn't worth it and she was scorned. One couldn't possibly forget all about it so easily.

Francesca stretched her hand to touch her head gently. "You really have the most random thoughts." Xiu looked into her eyes filled with motherly affection. "You already know that either it's Qiu Jiayi, Xin Zimen, or me, none of us are actually blood-related." Xiu nodded her head. "But we still make a very good family." Xiu could only nod in agreement. "You see, we all come from different backgrounds, experiences. But... That didn't stop us from growing close and finding a family outside the boundary of blood."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe you're really not as good as we think you are. But that won't change the fact that my son is in love with you." Xiu looked astonished. "Actually, none of us ever really cared what kind of a person you are. All we care about is how much you make our Regi happy. And we all can already see how happy he seems with you in his life. Shouldn't that be enough for parents?"

"Besides, I think either it's Sister Wei, Brother Yi, or Brother Zi, we all are not that nice either. We also hate things. We also hate people. If it's every person's right to love someone, hating someone is also their own right."

Xiu was left in a dilemma. The way she said those things made sense to her but yet it didn't make sense. Maybe her worries were solely based on the fear that was instilled in her heart for years. But it made sense when she said that all of them liked her because Darren was in love with her. So, it really didn't matter to them what kind of a person she was. Because Darren's happiness was the only thing they were thinking about.

Since she was Darren's happiness, the rest didn't matter to any of them.

This one thought helped in easing her up a lot. 

"Thanks for saying all that," Xiu was genuinely grateful for those words. "But you didn't have to lie." Francesca frowned at her. "I know all of you are nice people. I don't think you all can even hate someone."

Francesca chuckled at her naivety. "Sweetheart, you're the one mistaking here. I didn't lie to you."

Xiu's smiled stiffened. "But I can't really believe that someone like you can hate someone."

"But I do," answered Francesca with a smile on her lips. "I hate my Regi's parents."