Imperfect Desires

Darren had been sitting beside Xiu since the time he came. He had already seen the bandage on her hand but didn't know who to ask what she really did now. He hated it that whenever she was hurt, she'd hide away from him. 

For the most useless things, she'd run to him. For instance, she would run to him just to remind him that she was missing him. Or that he had to eat well. Or that he had to take care of himself. But why was it that whenever she should look for him, she would try to do everything on her own?

He hadn't realized how or when he had laid down beside her, hugging her. He wanted her to know even in her sleep that he was there with her. That it was okay to lean on him a little. 

"Snuggly, snuggly..." Xiu murmured in her sleep as she snuggled up even closer to his body. Her face was buried in his neck and her hot breath was fanning a very sensitive point on his neck. Darren raised his brow in amusement at how her hand was now wandering all over his chest while she kept mumbling, "I know this body."

As if something clicked in her mind, her eyes fluttered open and came into contact with those grey orbs that every single time managed to make her knees go soft. And her heart go wild. 

Even now, her breath hitched as she gasped to see him this close. Her hand touched his face, "What is this? You're really here? Why?"

"Why?" he only repeated this and his mouth twisted making Xiu feel like she said something wrong. "So, I shouldn't come to see my sick girlfriend? Who apparently forgot to tell me that she's been feeling sick for the last few days now."

"I..." Xiu didn't know how to look into his eyes without giving herself away but she also didn't know how to look away. You see, those eyes had a spell-like effect on her. She'd always feel like those eyes had captured her and her soul. It was impossible to look away.

"Sweets, how can you hide something so important? I'm supposed to be the first one to know what's going on with you. What's happening in your life but you always shy away from doing that. I never push you to say anything because I know how difficult it is for you to open yourself. But I'm yours. You're a part of me now. And I'm a part of you. Shouldn't we know at least know this much about each other?" 

Xiu pursed her lips while the corner of her eyes crinkled a bit.

"When I had a fever, I told you. Whenever I am going through something, I make sure you know it first. Why can't you try to share this much with me?"

"I don't want to bother you. I don't want to become a burden you'd get tired of," she had her insecurities so deep within her that she didn't dare repeat those things. 

Darren sat up as he said, "I told you so many times that I want you to bother me. I want you to bother the hell out of me. How could you be a burden? You're my girlfriend. You're my love. You're my responsibility! Is it that difficult to believe that I'm here for you and I'm here to stay? I'm not leaving you for anything."

Xiu nodded her head as she sat up slowly as well. "It is difficult to believe that. Everybody who said, 'I'm here for you.' eventually left."

Darren held the side of her face as he stared into her eyes. No, he was looking into her heart. He was probing her soul with that piercing gaze of his. "But I'm not everybody! I'm Regan Darren Salvay! I'm your Regan. You're stuck with me for life. I won't leave even if you push me away. I'm gonna be like that annoying bubblegum in your hair."

Xiu giggled softly at his reference. She was loving the way his palm was against her jaw while his long fingers were buried in her hair. It felt so good to have him simply sit here with her. But she felt at a loss when he pulled away.

She seemed to have caused him to worry. And she needed to apologize for that. It wasn't her intention since she herself didn't know her health was deteriorating. 

Xiu held his hand and pouted her lips, "Baby, are you angry? But Xiu didn't want to worry you. Xiu really didn't know that Xiu had a fever. Also, Xiu didn't want to disturb her baby and his mother. How can Xiu do that? It's not that Xiu doesn't want to share everything with Regan baby but Xiu doesn't want Regan baby to worry about her so much." He squinted his eyes at her act while she dragged her words while saying, "Xiu is sorry, naaa! Aaa... Forgive Xiu, pleaseeee!

'But I'm not even mad at you,' he wanted to say that but he held himself back. She looked so adorable acting like this that he couldn't bring himself to tell her. 

While Darren pressed his lips together, he was trying to conceal his smile that every single time came out whenever she was around. But since he was trying too hard, his appearance to Xiu seemed like he was mad at her. It made her heart drop. 

Xiu held both his hands and kissed his forehead. "Just one last time, forgive Xiu? Pleaseee! Xiu can't live without her Regan baby. And it's all your fault."

"How is it my fault?" he retorted in a curious tone.

She kissed his right eye as she began, "It is your fault." She kissed the other eye. "If you hadn't made me obsessed with you." She kissed the tip of his nose. "I wouldn't be in this condition." She kissed his one cheek. "Where I can't even imagine a future without you." She kissed the other cheek. "You know I'm addicted to alcohol." She trailed soft kisses down his jaw. "But now you've become a drug to me." Her lips stopped right before his. It was so close but she didn't touch his lips with hers as she went on, "You're the drug that makes me feel drunk without alcohol. And I'm addicted to you now. Besides, there is not even a cure for this addiction."

She was leaning closer but just when Darren expected her lips on his own, she stopped and pulled away.