Imperfect Desires

Fresh ice in the rocks glass with a chili salt rim along with a lime wheel. 

That's what was before Nora's eyes as she tried to read Xiu's expressions in the dimly lit corner of the bar. Although they had arrived at the hotel hours ago, they only just managed to sneak in the bar just a while ago after she was done dealing with her duties. What surprised her was the fact that no matter how tired Xiu was, she was still insistent on sticking close to her like glue.

She didn't find it a bother but since this behavior was so out of Xiu's character, it really disturbed Nora. But she had yet to voice out her worries.

At this moment, Xiu was staring intently at the Ghost Spicy Margarita that she ordered for herself while she was sticking loyally to her Cosmopolitan. She had to tell Xiu everything related to Ah-Si like she told her mother. Yes, she indeed kept some parts hidden which she herself wasn't ready to voice out but she thought the amount she told was enough for Xiu to get the gist of the situation she was going through.

"So..." Xiu began looking really confused. "You actually walked out on him?"

"No, he walked out on me!" retorted Nora glaring at Xiu.

Xiu shook her hand completely disagreeing with her best friend, "Let me ask you this... Did he try to contact you after that 'one-night stand' as you call it or not?"

"He did," answered Nora not knowing where this was going.

"How many times?" 

"...At least once every single day for a whole month."

"Fuck! You've lost your mind or what? He so desperately tried to get to you but you being insecure ass actually chose to ignore him? Just because you didn't want him to define that night as a mistake, you actually acted like a bloody bitch? What the actual fuck man!!!"

Seeing how stinging Xiu's words were, Nora chose to blame it on her choice of drink. She knew that spicy margarita was gonna bring trouble.

"Xiu, you're my friend or his? Why are you not taking my side? I was young and immature. When I was ready to talk it out, he left with his fiancee!"

"I'm your friend that's why I'm talking to you this honestly. You simply can't put all the blame on him for choosing to give up. Neither can you blame it at your young age. Because if you ask me, I'd say you're wrong for falling in love at such a young age then. He tried his best, you backed out on your own. A man can only have so much patience. He couldn't be waiting around for you. And now that he has a daughter and he has moved on, you still can't blame him. At least, unlike you, he's willing to live and love again."

Nora was left contemplating Xiu's words that felt like a bulldozer that was rushing in on her poor feelings. She couldn't bring herself to argue with Xiu. No matter how brutal Xiu was being, she knew she did it for her sake. She needed someone to knock some sense into her brain and only Xiu would be bold enough to insult her to the point of feeling anything again.

"The world can't wait for you just because you want it. People have the right to move on," said Xiu in a serious tone. "This is the reason why I hate this one-sided love. If you love someone just say it out, and get over with it. What's with keeping it a secret? It's nothing admirable!"

Nora narrowed her eyes at Xiu, "I don't think everyone can be like you. Just because you so easily chose to ask Darren out doesn't mean everyone else can." Nora sounded a bit upset as she continued, "And besides, your views would have been different if Darren had said no to you in reply."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Xiu tutted in reply. "No, my answer would have still been the same." Nora frowned at her response. "After all, if he had said no it meant that it was time to let go off my stupid delusion and fantasy. Trust me, uncertainty is worse than rejection. At least, with rejection, you know where you stand. But with that uncertainty, we only stand nowhere and that spells chaos."

"Shit! I hate it when you're right," grumbled Nora unhappily before she dunks down her drink and sighed out. "By the way, how come you look so energetic after drinking? Should I blame this snarky mouth of yours on this drink?"

"Don't look at me like that, you don't have to blame anyone. I'm being me and you know it better than anyone. I said what I felt right. It's not that I'm saying that the guy is right but what I said is that you both had done your fair share of mistakes to reach this point. So, stop mulling over it since it's of no use now. What's done is done. Now, the point is whether you still love him or not?"

Nora didn't even have to think before she replied, "I do. I still very much do."

"Great! As you have said, that he looked hurt seeing you which brings me to believe that he shares the same feeling as you. So, I say you better get your ass back into his life. That is if you don't mind accepting him with a daughter."

Nora furrowed her brows, "Why would I mind that?"

"Exactly what I thought, if you love him then him having a daughter shouldn't be an issue here." Xiu was like a love expert who sipped on her drink languidly and spoke as if she had been through it all. 

"But aren't we forgetting something here?" Xiu quirked up her brow while Nora added, "What about the baby's mother?"

"Ohhh..." drawled Xiu on purpose before waving her hand. "He said his life is all about his daughter that brings me to the conclusion that the baby's mother is out of the picture. Otherwise, he would have chosen better words to turn you down."

"Aren't you assuming way too much today?" voiced out Nora at Xiu's weird behavior. Was meeting her mother-in-law making her so jittery and talkative? Or something else was up with this girl again?

"At least, I'm assuming positively unlike you who again wants to give up without even trying. I say you go and knock on his door. Get that stupid guy to realize that he is doing the biggest mistake of his life by rejecting you. Know your worth and make it known to him as well. Don't just settle for anything."

"You suddenly sound really wise," said Nora unconsciously.

"Of course, I do. After going through a death phase, I also learned to have my wise moments." Xiu laughed to herself crazily making Nora feel shiver all over.

 Nora called in for another drink for both of them while she leaned back in her chair staring at Xiu's face curiously. There was something wrong with Xiu's expression but she couldn't put her finger on what exactly was it.

Heaving a long sigh, she started, "Xiu, what's up with you?" Xiu quirked her brows up in confusion. "You look different. I don't know what is it but you're making me feel like something is wrong."

"Something is wrong," said Xiu with a serious face and leaned over on the table while beckoning Nora to come closer who did exactly that. "I feel like someone's following me. It's just a feeling but it's scary as I feel like someone can watch every step I take. Every move I make. This weird feeling is the reason I'm not able to sleep."

Nora's eyes widened as she heard her confession, "Is that what you wanted to tell Darren?"

Xiu nodded her head without hesitation. "I wanted to but I won't now."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my problem and I can't pull him into this."

"That's ridiculous." Xiu shrugged her shoulders showing she thought otherwise. "Anyways, are you sure about this feeling though? I mean it's a possibility that it's just a feeling. You might have had a nightmare and it left a lingering impression or something."

Seeing how Nora was looking so worried all of a sudden for her, Xiu burst out laughing at her face. "Damn! My feisty Latina is really gullible eh?"

"What?"

"I was just joking with you. Hahaha..."

Nora hits Xiu's shoulder without holding back. "Have you lost your mind? You scared me for a second!"

"Sorry, I didn't think you'd fall for it so easily."

Nora finally heaved a sigh of relief after she was done venting on Xiu for scaring her like that. But what she didn't notice was that Xiu's eyes held an indescribable sincerity. Whether she was lying or not, she just didn't want to upset Nora. Knowing her best friend, she knew Nora would create a big issue out of this.

"Don't make such creepy jokes again. It gave me chills."

Xiu nodded at her and smiled in agreement.