Imperfect Desires

Just as Dylan observed both Darren and Xiu's interaction once more right before his eyes, he was really feeling strange. But it was a strange kind of good. As he recalled everything that Xiu just did, even though she was teasing him, he could tell that her possessiveness for Darren was real. Not only that, but he could also tell she was actually quite proud of Darren.

But then what was the issue with him? Why did her personality take such drastic changes around him? Out of the blue, he blurted out, "Do you hate me?" 

Xiu who was lost in the gentleness of Darren's gaze was suddenly brought out of her trance. She frowned slightly and tilted her head to give Dylan an inquisitive look. "I don't," was her simple two words reply.

Dylan's brows knitted together, "Then why do feel so happy teasing me all the time?"

Xiu looked at him as if he was an idiot and rolled her eyes, "Dear Dylan, don't you like to tease my boyfriend? You always find a way to bother him as well. So, you tell me why do you do that?"

Her question left Dylan in deep thought. He indeed loved to bother Darren. And if he wouldn't tease his own best friend then who else? He looked around as he replied, "Because he is very special to me. We have a special bond."

Xiu looked at Darren and he nodded as if allowing her to continue. Xiu smiled at him and took a step towards Dylan. Her hand lifted up and as her fingers approached, Dylan instinctively leaned backward. Xiu laughed at his reaction and shook her head. 

Her laugh was low and soft. But it could clearly be seen in her eyes. She gave the impression of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. The laughter seemed to be coming from within her heart. 

As Xiu put her hand down, Dylan raised his brow at her. "The reason why I love to tease you is also that you're a very special person to me." Dylan's eyes widened as he stared at her dumbfounded. "I might have found you an eyesore at first sight but trust me, the more I met you, the more you forced me to lose my prejudice against second-generation young masters. You never do anything by the norms. You're like a free soul. You might be an insolent brat but at the end of the day, I might not be able to find a more genuine person than you as well."

Dylan was really surprised to hear her saying that. "You are like that innocent kid who finds positivity everywhere. In both my lives, I have despised arguing with anyone. It was a hassle, I wasn't up for. But bickering with you had always been so fun that I couldn't hold back. As I said, you're like a kid. The more I tease you, the more you whine like one and it really gives me a giddy feeling. And this is the special bond we share. Squabbling like there is no tomorrow."

Seeing her laughing at him, Dylan puffed up his cheeks before pouting sulkily. He really didn't like it when anyone called him a kid. After all, he had been treated like a kid for way too long. He really thought that at the age of 28, being called a kid was certainly not a compliment. Yet everyone around him would love to baby him all the time.

His reaction earned him a giggle before Xiu lifted her hand to ruffle his hair catching him off-guard. But as he opened his mouth to show his displeasure, Xiu's hand shifted to the side of his face as she stared right into his eyes. As he saw, her eyes softened and so did her voice as she continued, "More importantly, Dylan, you're that special person who made me finally realize that Chen Xiu wasn't just a failure."

Dylan stared back at her in bewilderment while she added, "You made me realize that I never hated being an artist. In fact, I loved it when I could connect with people through my acting. But till the end, what I hated was being a celebrity. A celebrity who had no right to freedom. In fact, I wasn't even allowed to laugh, cry, love or hate. But everyone else was allowed to peep into my privacy. Everyone had a say about how I should love MY life except for me.

"You said Chen Xiu was like a breath of fresh air in your life. She was your smile. You said she made you fall in love with life itself, but do you know what life was for her?" Dylan was in a daze; just looking at the emotions stirring in her eyes. He could feel her pain through her words, so much that the rims of his eyes turned red as he shook his head. Xiu tried to offer him a smile as she went on, "Life was a prison for her. A prison she had no way of escaping."

"You're right, she lacked everything in life that you had. But that phenomenal way of her life that you described was wrong. You seem to have a wrong impression of me, I wasn't the goddess you actually believed me to be. The reason why I seemed so hopeful was that a caged bird only has hope. The hope of freedom. I was also like that. I only had hope in life."

She caressed his face as she breathed, "Thank you for loving Chen Xiu. Thank you for loving the girl who couldn't love herself. And thank you for making her realize that she didn't work in vain. Because trust me, it feels good to know that I was once able to inspire someone like you. Also, thank you for not letting the dreams of those kids break after I chose to give up on life."

"You know that?" Dylan croaked out.

Xiu nodded her head slightly, "My baby told me what you did for me. It means a lot to me."

Indeed, when Darren told her that the orphanage she used to visit had been taken over by Dylan, she was really shocked. And even more so when she learned that he had taken over her project of making others dreams come true.

Dylan couldn't help himself as a tear fell down his eye. Instead of saying anything, he hugged her and muttered, "You're an idiot if you think that you were a failure. You were anything but a failure. Actually, you're foolish. Do you even realize how many people had been graced with your kindness? How can you even think that kindness won't be returned? Even if people forget, the universe has a way to repay your kindness with kindness. Especially for someone like you who put a roof above hundreds of kids and put a smile on millions of faces."

At that moment, Dylan knew one thing for sure. The person before him was his goddess Xiu. But the real her. Not the version he had imagined, instead this was the real her; the one he didn't know. And realizing that she was really alive made him feel comfortable and relaxed.