Imperfect Desires

Hearing what Ah-Si said, Dylan was feeling apprehensive. It wasn't the first time that he heard about Yan Ying and Xin Xiaoli's possible marriage but somehow, he had never felt this worried before. He knew how long it had been since Xin Xiaoli had been trying to court his sister, Qiu Meihui. But his sister's stubbornness had always come in the way.

What if his Li bro was also tired of chasing after his headstrong sister?

Dylan really couldn't tell how long Xin Xiaoli could avoid this marriage. After all, Yan Ying was a gorgeous woman with her own merits. And unlike his own sister, Yan Ying was neither divorced nor was a single mother. Not to mention, Yan Ying was like a very treasured daughter to Xin Xiaoli's father as well. 

Even Dylan had heard how fond his Uncle Zi was of Yan Ying. And he also knew that Xin Xiaoli had never gone against his father's wishes. Not even once in his life! But then again, who would dare to stand against his Uncle Zi? Wouldn't that person be courting death?

Dylan's reverie was only broken when Xin Xiaoli spoke in a distant tone, "Ying, why are you here?"

The bright smile on Yan Ying's face faltered a little but she concealed her disappointment very well. It wasn't the first time that his first question sounded so distant. She should have been used to it but... she still wasn't!

"Li, can't I come to see you without any reason?" retorted Yan Ying while desperately trying to keep her smile look as real as she could. However, she couldn't shake off the sadness in her voice. "I know you don't even wanna be friends anymore but there is no reason for you to shed all cordiality between us now."

Dylan frowned as he listened to their conversation and whispered to Ah-Si, "Friends? Weren't they just playmates in their childhood?"

Ah-Si gave a look to Dylan as if looking at an idiot, "Which world are you living in? Ying Jie 1and bro had been best friends. It's only been a year since they grew a bit distant."

 Dylan had a look of enlightenment. Besides, Ah-Si wasn't lying at all. Yan Ying and Xin Xiaoli were of the same age and because of their family's relationship, they both grew up together as well. There was even a time when if you had to find one, you could just look for the other. Because these two always stuck to each other like glue.

Ah-Si didn't know how they fell apart but he did know that Yan Ying didn't change from the time he knew her. It was only his own brother whose attitude towards her changed. And it didn't take a genius to know that it had something to do with the marriage discussions between Xin and Yan family.

Xin Xiaoli looked at his best friend's smiling face and frowned. He knew her very well. How could he not see that she was hurting? Then why was she here? When she knew she'd only get hurt more!

"Ying, don't you hate me?" asked Xin Xiaoli and Yan Ying quirked up her brows at his sudden question. "Everything I said to you last time and what I did, isn't that enough for you to despise me for life? Or are you still holding on to an impossible dream?"

Yan Ying's hand trembled as he so outrightly reminded her of what he did and said to her. She had to fist the side of her dress to hide her trembling hands. Tears were making her feel choked up but she willed herself to never cry in front of him ever again. And she wasn't willing to break that promise she made to herself.

She looked into his eyes and replied, "Ying has only learned to love you, Li. Ying doesn't know how to hate you." Her words not only startled Xin Xiaoli but even Ah-Si and Dylan were stunned at their place. "I told you before, let me say it again... Just how you have the freedom to not love me, I also have the same freedom to love you." She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and continued, "Don't look so worried, this time, Ying is not here for you. I won't bother you, I promise. I have no desire to dream again."

Before Xin Xiaoli could say anything, his phone's ringtone distracted him. Seeing the caller id, he immediately excused himself and went upstairs to take the call. Yan Ying's eyes followed his receding figure until he disappeared completely from her line of sight.

Sighing out, she turned to Ah-Si, "Little Si, how about dinner?" she looked at Dylan and knocked her head, "Oh, where are my manners? Dylan, why are you just standing there? Freshen up, I'll ask someone to bring the dinner for you both."

Dylan nodded his head and went to the guest room to take a bath. As she was about to turn towards the kitchen, Ah-Si held her wrist and as she looked at him in confusion, he said, "Ying Jie, don't you have pride?" Yan Ying dropped her smile that she had kept before Xin Xiaoli and Ah-Si finally saw her anguished look. "If this love hurts this much, why are you torturing yourself?"

"You of all people shouldn't be lecturing me, little Si," replied Yan Ying as she patted his shoulder and added, "My only pride in life had been my love for your brother. All of you who want me to stop loving him, why don't you guys understand that you're actually asking me to lose my pride? Will I be left with anything after that?"

Ah-Si really didn't know what to say to her. "But don't you feel tired? This road of love that you chose has no destination."

Yan Ying looked at Ah-Si with a gentle gaze. Just like Ah-Si was the most precious younger brother to Xin Xiaoli, he was exactly like that to her as well. She lovingly ruffled his hair saying, "Aiyo, my dear Si, not every person is looking for a destination in life. Some just like the journey they are on."

Ah-Si was lost for words. As much as he'd love to stand by his brother's side. Sometimes, he really felt like she was the one suffering the most. And her only crime was that she fell for someone who didn't love her back.