Imperfect Desires

A single moment of distraction can bring a disaster upon you. One tiny mistake and everything can end right before your eyes. It was exactly that kind of moment for Dylan as well.

When he looked at the front, a car was passing from the front and on instinct, Dylan swerved the steering wheel to the right and the car hit the pole. But because of the slow speed, the hit didn't do any damage to both Dylan and Xiu. The same couldn't be said about the car though.

Technically, earlier he was supposed to stop at the red light but since the road they were on had very few cars, he really didn't realize it until he had broken the signal and had almost hit the car coming from the other side. If it wasn't for Xiu, they'd have been in a bigger problem. 

The other car didn't stop to ask and left. As for Xiu and Dylan, they both got out of the car to see the damage. "This is all your fault," said Dylan as he put all the blame on Xiu's shoulder.

"How is it my fault? You're the one driving!" replied Xiu in defiance.

"If you hadn't said that about Chen Xiu, I wouldn't be so mad," said Dylan in anger.

"Oh, come on! Did I say anything wrong?" 

"That is why I don't like you no matter how much I try to. You always find a way to insult my Goddess Xiu and I don't like that." He took a pause before saying, "You know what, sometimes I think you're also a fan of my Goddess Xiu."

"Me?" Xiu pointed at herself with a weird look on her face. "Where did that come from?"

"Yes, you..." nodded Dylan and went on, "You're a fan in denial. You know so much about my Goddess Xiu that only her true fans would know. That's why I'm saying, you're also a fan of hers. Just a bit jealous one."

Xiu looked at his face with a blank look before she burst out in laughter. Clutching her stomach with her hand, she said, "Oh my GOD! I can't believe it. I haven't heard a funnier joke in my life before." Dylan didn't know why she was being hysterical about it but he was left dumbfounded when her face went back to a poker-faced look and she continued, "The person I hate the most in my life is named Chen Xiu. I hate her with all that I have and all that I am. She really didn't have anything to be envious of. If anything she was pitiful. Ask your heart as well, at one point in your life, you also pitied her, sympathized with her."

She was poking Dylan's chest forcing him to remember that pity he had felt for Chen Xiu. Because in truth, he did feel pity for Chen Xiu. Even if it was for just a moment. He couldn't deny it.

"If I was envious of that life, I wouldn't have chosen death. Do you think I chose death as a joke? Just for fun? Or maybe to make people feel guilty for what they did to me? No! I did not! I never wanted anyone to clear my name of all those scandals. Why would I want to? Scandals were an everyday thing for Chen Xiu, then how could a mere scandal push her to death? Being the other woman in a married couple's life, was it the first time she was accused of that? No, she had been through it plenty of times."

Xiu was panting at the end of her pent up frustration and ranting that she never got to let out. At this point, she couldn't tell what she was spouting. As for Dylan, he was in shock at how much she knew but mostly because she talked like she was talking about herself. As if she had lived through all that.

Xiu crouched down and wrapped her arms around her knees as she said, "I chose death because I was tired. Not of all those scandals and people leaving me alone. I was tired of living a life that wasn't even mine, to begin with. I, Chen Xiu lived a life of a lie. An identity that wasn't even mine. A life that wasn't mine. Just like I loved someone who wasn't mine."

 Dylan's eyes widened as she said the last sentence. First, she called herself Chen Xiu and then the biggest truth of Chen Xiu's life. The truth that he only found out recently because of Darren, how did she know that Chen Xiu's whole life was built on a lie?

He held her shoulders as he questioned, "Who are you? How do you know all this?"

As he shook her shoulders, Xiu's dazed eyes finally focused as she stared back at him in confusion. Realizing how she rambled on and on and on, she facepalmed herself inwardly. Before she could say anything to explain, they both heard the siren of a police car as it stopped right beside them.

As the officer moved closer, the stench of alcohol caught his attention and he said, "No wonder, there is an accident."

While Dylan was still focused on Xiu, she got up and tried to say, "Officer, we can explain."

"No need for that. Drunk driving, breaking traffic rules, causing an accident and damaging the property. I have enough reasons to take you both with me," said the officer making Xiu close her eyes helplessly.

She tugged at Dylan's arm saying, "Do something, dumbass! You got us in the accident, get us out of this mess now!"

Dylan was shaken awake from his whirlwind thoughts wreaking havoc in his mind at that moment. And after getting the hang of what was going on around him, he said, "If a certain dumb person hadn't distracted me, this wouldn't happen in the first place." Obviously, even now he had to blame her for this. 

"Oh, really?" challenged Xiu and while Dylan was about to retort, the officer cut him off.

"You both can stop your lover's quarrel for now. Drink driving is an offense, please co-operate or we'll have to..."

"We are not lovers!" they both spoke at the same time but seeing the officer's warning gaze, they both said,  "We're co-operating," simultaneously as they silently followed the officer to the police car.

Xiu leaned close to Dylan to whisper, "Doing the same thing twice lose its thrill. A ride to the police station was also only fun when it was the first time."

While Xiu was trying to act normal, Dylan was wondering how was she able to talk and joke around so normally after breaking that bomb on him? Or was she just messing with him? On any other occasion, Dylan would have accepted that she was messing with him. But his heart wasn't ready to accept that she was pranking him this time. It just didn't feel right at all.