Imperfect Desires

Coming back to the couple who forgot about their respective best friends...

When Xiu asked, 'Who's Cali?', at first, Darren didn't notice her tone. It seemed like a very casual question to him. Perhaps, because he had never been questioned like that ever by anyone.

So, his casual reply was, "Cali's a friend."

Xiu turned her face slightly towards him and tried keeping her voice leveled and devoid of any jealousy as she asked, "Friend or ex-girlfriend?" 

Now, Darren noticed the change in her voice and laughed to himself as he said, "Sweets, I might have dated a lot but Cali could never be one of my ex's."

"Why not?" inquired Xiu curiously.

Darren turned her body to face him and held her face in his own making her look at him and said, "Sweets, Cali's been more like a bro than a girl to me. Not just me, actually, she's been like that to everyone. She's been a tomboy for as long as I can remember."

Xiu raised her brows at him in curiosity and he held her hand, making her sit at the dining table while he got busy with something in the kitchen as he continued, "She and I were in high school together. Her interests leaned more towards the... daring side. You can call her an adrenaline junkie. When she went to med school, all of us were shocked and when asked her why she did it, she said, 'Reviving a person from death, doesn't the sound of that gives you a thrill?' We were speechless at her reason."

Xiu had been listening to him attentively and when he stopped, she said, "She sounds really fun."

"Sweets, don't get impressed by her. She's the last person I want you to be an acquaintance of," said Darren clearly not liking the idea of Xiu being a friend of Cali.

"Why not?" questioned Xiu with a sulky look.

"Because Cali is literally dangerous and reckless. She takes life very lightly. She can convince you into doing a lot of dangerous things with her and I don't want you to be in danger," he said as he passed a plate of freshly cut fruits to her. Hearing his words and seeing his gesture, Xiu decided to push her jealousy away. While seeing her munching on the apple, he squinted his eyes and asked, "Why did you think that Cali is my ex-girlfriend?"

"Your best friend said that you have dated a lot back in the days. So, you never know," she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and continued eating.

Darren looked at her for a moment and asked, "What else Dylan said?"

"He talks a lot, mostly I don't pay attention," replied Xiu but after a moment, she recalled something and added, "But when he was slightly tipsy, he said you'll never forget her. I don't know who that 'her' is but my brain convinced me that he was talking about your first love. Everyone has one of those."

Darren touched the tip of his nose and stayed silent when she talked about this. Xiu noticed the silence and looked up at him inquisitively. Darren contemplated a bit before saying, "You're right. Didi was talking about my first love."

Xiu's hands paused for a moment but she reminded herself, 'Xiu, you can't possibly expect to be his first love. Since he's not yours as well. Don't be greedy. It's already good enough that someone like him is willing to accept a mess as you.' Her monologue managed to calm her down and she acted very casually as she questioned, "What kind of a person was she?"

"I think I should describe her as a..." he thought about it long and hard but only one suited her the best in his mind. "Goddess. That's what she was." Even though he hated it whenever Dylan used to say, Goddess Xiu all the time but now whenever he thought about her, he realized that she was really like a Goddess. Chen Xiu was a living angel. From his own understanding of her, she didn't like taking credit for things. 

For instance, once he asked her, "I heard you sponsored some teenagers for their study abroad."

Her reply was, "I didn't do anything. I was just a way for those kids to achieve something bigger. It was in their fate."

At first, he used to think that she was really weird and fake? But later, he realized that since she had been alone for most of her life. She perceived life very differently than other people. And that also made her extra sensitive towards things. She was never fake. 

Presently, Xiu noticed his daydreaming expression and grumbled to herself, "I was also a Goddess once. But you never called me one. You always said I'm a just a superstar with a pretty face, huh!"

Obviously, Xiu still remembered what he used to call her but she didn't know what he really felt. So, his words really hit a sore spot this time but she tried her best to overlook it. After all, first love never comes true. Besides, that first love was gone and only she was here now.

But in her heart, she knew that someone's memories can be more toxic than their presence. However, she didn't want that shadow of doubt and uncertainty to linger between the two of them and that's why she asked, "Do you still see her?"

Darren touched her head in reassurance and said, "Sweets, first of all, she and I never dated. It was just a one-sided love I came to realize when it was already too late. Secondly, no. I'm not seeing her. Even if I want to, I can't."

"Can't? Why not?"

Darren looked heavenwards before closing his eyes as if it was too hard for him to say. "She went too far away."

"Do you miss her?" Xiu questioned again. Before he could say anything, she said, "No, don't tell me that. I don't have to know this one."

Darren smiled at her and said, "You really need to stop thinking."