Imperfect Desires

There are always moments in our life that make us want to wish for the time to stop. And the same way, there are moments when we want to fast-forward everything. However, time never works like that. The way time work is very peculiar; when you wish for the time to stop, it fast-forwards. And when you want to fast-forward through, it slows down and passes slower than a tortoise.

However, that's not actually true. We believe it is but it isn't. The time moves at the same pace. It's our own feelings that change. For instance, a moment of joy is always shortlived because you're so engrossed in your happiness that you didn't even realize when the time passed. The same goes for moments of sadness. We become so involved with our sadness that time seems like it's slowed down.

This was certainly Xiu's condition these days. It had been days and Darren still didn't come back. She had never missed anyone this badly in her life ever before. And the more she missed him, the more her feelings for him grew. Since she was constantly in a bad mood these days, Nora brought her out for dinner and even called Dylan to join them.

Sitting around the table, Xiu's head was placed on the table while Nora and Dylan looked at her.

"What's up with her? She's always mad at everyone in the office. People are scared to even talk to her. And I have never seen my employees this scared even by me," said Dylan looking at Xiu with a strange look.

"Cut her some slack. She's mad because she's missing Darren," Nora defended her best friend and touched Xiu's head as she added, "Xiu, cheer up. Darren's been texting you these days and even explained why he's suddenly so busy. Also, didn't he send you those red camellia flowers the other day?"

With her chin on the table, Xiu looked at Nora and said, "I don't want his flowers. I want him. And I know he's been texting me but I want to hear his voice. Darn it! Why did his company have to go through some crisis during this time?" She looked around at the restaurant filled with lovely couples and sighed out, "Look, autumn is right around the corner. Soon, it'll be cold nights. Imagine, cold night, long drives, my little king and me, 80's hit songs and no destination. What a beautiful night it'd be."

"Well, at this point, you can only imagine," said Dylan and Nora slapped him from over the table while Xiu glared at him but soon lost the interest to even argue with him. And when she put her head back down, he was shocked. Now, he really believed that she was missing Darren since she was nothing like her usual self.

But in Xiu's mind, she had dropped the idea of dropping a savage sarcastic comment because she felt like Dylan's small brain won't understand her elite humor. So, wasting her energy on him was worthless.

Seeing her not being co-operative, both Nora and Dylan decided to keep her out of the conversation. Dylan had actually thought about telling Nora that Xin Xiaosi was back but hesitated a little before saying, "Nora, I read a very interesting post. It went like sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you're still stupid. I felt that on a personal level. What're your thoughts about it?"

Nora took a deep breath, avoided looking at him and acted really cool as she said, "I don't feel it at all. I've changed my life full circle. A 360-degree turn."

"If you want to change your life around, you take a 180s turn, not 360s," both of them heard a muffled voice coming from Xiu who went on, "If you did a complete 360, it's like coming back to the same bullshit! Who would wanna do that?"

"Pfft!" While Nora thought about Xiu's reasoning, Dylan burst out laughing. "I never thought I'd say this but I have to. Kiddo is right this time." He purposely called Xiu kiddo but to no avail since the latter was a like log again. No movement whatsoever. Dylan was disappointed to learn that. However, from Nora's answer, he gathered one thing that he wasn't supposed to tell her about Xin Xiaosi. 

If the girl had walked out of her past's shadow. He had no right to push her back in.

"Hey, Xiu! Let's learn a little about each other. Tell me something you love to do, huh?" Dylan again tried to shake Xiu and sighed out before sitting straight up. It was his responsibility to cheer her up.

"The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out is enough to say it all," said Xiu with a straight face.

"You love to sleep," said Dylan.

"Bingo! Never thought you'd be this smart." Dylan could feel her sarcasm literally dripping. Xiu yawned lazily, something came to her mind all of a sudden and she said, "By the way, dear Didi, are you seeing anyone?"

"I'm seeing a lot of hallucinations, I'm thinking about seeing a therapist but as for seeing a girl, thank you very much but I'm fine." Dylan had purposely overlooked the way she called him. Unconsciously, he had come to make peace with the fact that she was Darren's girlfriend and she was allowed to call him as Didi. However, he wasn't gonna accept it outright.

The conversation after that was light and fun moving from one random topic to another. Since Nora and Dylan were acquainted with each other, it made the atmosphere more lively.

"How's your mom, Hedi?" asked Nora just out of curiosity.

"Don't ask. That evil mother of mine is always insulting me," said Dylan.

"What happened now?" She knew all about how Dylan's mother was. She had heard about her a lot. But had yet to meet her in person.

"Yesterday, I went to see her and I was using my phone while she was cooking. She came with a spatula in hand and hit me saying, 'Do you even know how many miles your thumbs have scrolled until now? If your legs had traveled for that many miles, you'd have gotten some world record or something.' Now, you tell me, what kind of logic is that?" 

Hearing his words, Nora couldn't hold back her laughter while Xiu had to press her lips to stifle her laugh.

Nora gave him moral support saying, "Don't worry. Mine is no better. The other day I went home and my brother wanted me to buy him some ice-cream. I went to the supermarket for it and texted my mom to let me know if she needed anything as well. So you know what her reply was?" Both Xiu and Dylan looked at her anticipating her reply. "She wrote: 'No thanks. I don't need anything. Help yourself and buy yourself some self-conscience .' I was shook!"

This time both Xiu laughed along with Dylan and said, "That's what I call a pair of savage mothers."