Imperfect Desires

It's fascinating how someone stays away from our sight but gets stuck in our minds. Darren might have been far away from her but Xiu couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. And the more she thought about him, the more she ended up missing him.

Xiu's simple two words 'Show up!' showed how much she was missing him. In fact, she herself didn't realize it that she had missed his presence. She was holding her head in her hands when her phone buzzed again. At first, she hesitated but eventually took the phone to check his reply. She was curious to learn what he sent.

There were only four words written in the text and reading those words left Xiu's heart in the chaos of emotions that she couldn't describe in words. Tears had brimmed up in her eyes making her eyes look glossy but there was a smile on her face as well.

She held the phone close to her heart along with the bouquet of flowers and closed her eyes. Tears of happiness rolled down her cheek while she read out his text. The four words he sent were... "I miss you too."

It was the second time in her two lives that she experienced tears of happiness and oddly, both of the times, Darren was the reason.

*Flashback*

~Chen Xiu's 23rd Birthday~

"Sister Xiu, your fans have sent gifts for your birthday," she heard Han Bohai's voice and only gave him a nod of acknowledgment while he continued, "I'm placing these gifts in the guest room. Oh, I heard the company is planning a birthday party for you but since your schedule is really hectic, it'll be over the next weekend."

Xiu scrolled down her Weibo and with her eyes on the laptop screen said, "Does it even matter?"

Han Bohai pursed his lips before sighing out. He placed all the fan mail to the guest room and came back to her side saying, "Sister Xiu, I'll take my leave for the day if you don't need anything else." Xiu waved him off. He stopped at the door and said, "I forgot to tell you, one of your fans sent a cake as well. It's in the refrigerator. And Happy Birthday, Sister Xiu!"

"Thank you, Xiao Han and good night," replied Xiu with a tired smile. After he closed the door and left, Xiu put the screen of the laptop down and got up to remove her makeup. It was eleven at night and only now, she had time to get back home for rest.

By the time she laid down on her bed after the shower and her night routine, it was only ten minutes left before twelve. Her schedule for the next day was gonna start at 5 which only left four hours for her rest. But with the news, she just heard about Zhou Jinhai's wedding, her mind was in conflict. It was expected that it was gonna be another sleepless night.

She had closed her eyes in hope of getting some sleep when her phone buzzed and she picked up the call without looking at the caller id.

"What are you doing?" came a very cheery voice from the other end.

Xiu felt like it was the dumbest question considering it was the middle of the night. So, her reply was, "I'm counting stars. Want to join me?"

Darren pressed his lips holding back his laugh as he responded, "Sorry, I don't do two things; counting stars and falling in love."

Xiu opened her eyes and frowned slightly as she asked, "Why not?"

"Both are waste of time," replied Darren and chuckled by himself making Xiu scowl.

"Are you done, Mr. I'm-Over-Smart?" asked Xiu irritatedly. "If you are, I'm hanging up."

"Wait!" Darren's sudden scream stopped her from pressing the disconnect button. "My Superstar is in a bad mood, eh?" Xiu didn't feel the need to reply to him as he added, "Ok, get up and go to the balcony."

"What for?" asked Xiu in confusion.

"Fresh air helps in lifting up the mood. Now, move already," under his insistence, Xiu groaned tiredly but still walked up to her balcony. "Are you there yet?"

"I'm here. Now what?" 

"Now close your eyes and take a deep breath," said Darren as if he was professional in therapies. "Did you close your eyes?" he asked to confirm.

"I did," Xiu lied since she didn't feel like playing along with him.

"Oho! Don't try to fool me!" Xiu rolled her eyes when she heard his warning. "Now be a good girl and close your eyes."

Xiu huffed out before closing her eyes and said, "Now what?"

"Take a deep breath," instructed Darren and Xiu did so. "Breath out," he went on. The process was repeated three times before he said, "You can open your eyes now."

"Finally," grumbled Xiu and opened her eyes slowly. However, her eyes widened in surprise by the scene before her.

Xiu's balcony overlooked the city's biggest LED billboard and right now, there was no ad playing on it. Instead, on the screen was her face. From her journey as a child star to Nation's Goddess Xiu was played in a five minutes video and at the end was written, "Happy Birthday, Ms. Superstar!" And right when those words appeared on the screen, the fireworks went off and the dark sky lit up.

"You still there?" she heard Darren's voice and only then realized that tears had rolled out of her eyes unknowingly. Her hand was covering her mouth while she couldn't help gasping at the scene.

"Yeah, I am," she said while wiping her tears with a huge smile on her face.

"Are you crying?" he asked in a worried tone. "It was just a birthday gift. Was it that bad?"

Xiu chuckled at his response and replied, "You made this huge mess and yet, this package didn't include a cake? Tsk. Tsk."

"What? You didn't receive the cake earlier?" came his prompt response. 

Xiu recalled how Xiao Han reminded her about a cake and asked, "You sent it?"

"Duh!"

"You're crazy!" she sounded helpless but couldn't hide her happiness at all.

*End of Flashback*

Even now Xiu could say that was the most beautiful and yet strangest way someone wished her on her birthday. But then again, Darren always did things differently. Just like today, he had sent forget-me-nots. A kind of flower that is often overlooked by most people.

But the meaning behind those was beautiful- A connection that lasts through time. Xiu's smiled widened. Forget-me-nots also meant true and undying love but Xiu was purposely convincing herself to not think in that direction as of yet.

Xiu opened her eyes and wiped her tears. The world seemed bright and clear after she had shed those tears. As if the pain of past had rolled down her cheeks leaving an aftertaste of hope and happiness. His words had brought a burst of courage inside her which assured her that the future held only opportunities and lesser tears.

She suddenly came to think... "Ah, this is what rebirth really feels like."