Imperfect Desires

That dramatic pause that Xiu added for some theatrical effect irked Dylan as he waited for her to continue. Getting tired of her silence, he said, "What are you waiting for?" Xiu kept her eyes on his changing expressions as she observed him thoughtfully. "Are you testing my patience right now?"

Xiu shook her head in negation and said, "I can't test your patience, I already know you'll even fail in that." Dylan's veins twitched in anger while she laughed at her own joke. This time, Dylan waited for her to get over the hilarity of her not-so-funny joke. "Anyways, let's move on."

"Finally," said Dylan with an attitude that Xiu didn't give a damn about.

"So, I've been thinking lately and trust me, I've done a lot of thinking," said Xiu as she leaned back in the chair and crossed her one leg over the other. "You're my boyfriend's best friend and that means you're permanent in his life."

"There is no doubt about that," was Dylan's reply with a proudful look. Xiu couldn't help curling her lips into a faint smile as she noticed how proud he felt about this friendship. Just as she thought, their relationship was more than just friendship. "But where are we getting with this?" he asked after a moment.

Xiu tapped her fingers on the armrest of the chair as she said, "I think you have a misconception that I'm temporary in your best friend's life." Dylan's brows raised slightly since, in the beginning, that really was his opinion about Xiu and Darren. "So, let me clear this up for you today. I don't plan on being temporary in Regan's life. I can't speak for him but as for myself, I've never loved or liked anybody half-heartedly. I give my all or none. For me, he's someone I'd give my all for."

Dylan was surprised to hear that. The way he viewed Xiu, he'd never thought about hearing such words from her. "Are you in love with Darren?" he blurted out the question without thinking it through.

"Love? Mmm..." Xiu didn't think about it before but now that he mentioned it. She felt a rush of feelings overwhelming her. And those feelings hit her on another level since now all those feelings from her previous life had also burst out. She couldn't deny the fact that Darren was special even when she was Chen Xiu and he was still very special to her.

She still remembered how once she had joked with him saying, "Homie, you're really thoughtful person. It makes me jealous of your girlfriend. Why aren't you, my boyfriend?

"You didn't give me a chance to ask you out," he had replied in such a serious tone that it made her heart skip a beat. 

She still remembered how she felt like her heart had cheated on Zhou Jinhai by acting crazy over another man's voice or words. But thinking back she realized how she had cheated on her heart by not accepting the signs that it gave her.

Dylan clicked his fingers before her eyes to bring her back to earth as he said, "Don't zone out on me. I asked a very simple question, do you love him?"

Xiu blinked at him with a perplexed look as she asked, "Simple question? Do you think love is simple?"

"Yes, it is very simple," said Dylan with a solemn expression which really felt weird to Xiu.

She jokingly said, "Now don't say it's as simple as jumping off a cliff. You just close your eyes and take that step."

Dylan gave a sad smile before his eyes at her and saying, "Nah. In my opinion, love is when you have a million words to say and yet that one person's eyes make you speechless because you see the rest of your life lying inside those eyes."

As much as Xiu wanted to agree with him, she still had to retort, "If it's love, it gets complicated. Eventually, it does. There is no denying. I'm a person who believes in living a simple life. But I want to love extravagantly. It's not every day we fall in love." She took a pause to breathe before continuing, "I have feelings for Regan. Feelings that I can't describe in words. And they say, often the unexplainable feelings are named love. If that is true then yes. I am in love with Regan."

"I never thought I'd hear such words from you," said Dylan in surprise. "You really are a different person in my impression."

"The version of me you created in your head is definitely not my bloody responsibility!" was Xiu's reply. "Anyway, now that we have come to the conclusion that I'm not going anywhere from your best friend's life, let's have a compromise-treaty."

"Compromise-treaty? Do you mean a peace treaty?"

Xiu shook her finger before his eyes saying, "No, no, not at all! Let's face it, you and I are like fire and water, there is no peace between us."

"True," he couldn't help agreeing.

"That's why my proposal is compromise-treaty. You're not going anywhere neither am I. So, why not find a happy medium for Regan's sake. I don't want him to stress over the arguments we have. Also, you can't always jump in whenever he's with me," Xiu stated her other terms and stressed on her last line saying, "And don't. I repeat, don't you dare try to snatch my boyfriend from me. When it's my time, it's my time. You can't possibly be there."

Dylan thought about it for a while before saying, "Okay. We can find a middle ground if it's for Dazi's sake. Besides, I don't want his first serious relationship to end in shambles just because I don't like you."

"So, do we have a deal?" Xiu extended her hand towards him and while Dylan eyed her hand suspiciously, she rolled her eyes at him and said, "Scaredy Cat, there is nothing in my hand. I can't believe you have such little faith in me." She even showed him her hand as proof and finally, Dylan let his guard down and shook her hand.

"I can't help the suspicion. You aren't a very nice person and besides, your track record doesn't help much," said Dylan while Xiu shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.