Imperfect Desires

Sometimes we are in a dilemma with our own feelings. For instance, it's hard to determine whether we are haunted by the memories of the people we lost or we are haunted by the time when we didn't have to fake smiles - the time when we were a happy person.

Staring back at Dylan's face, Nora was also conflicted. For the first time, she realized that she was scared of both- the memories of people and the person she used to be. But most of all, she was scared of how his appearance could scrumble down the facade she got comfortable with.

Looking at her dazed expression, Dylan clicked his fingers before her eyes and said, "Cartwright, are you that dazzled to see me?"

Nora's brows knitted together as she noticed his cheeky expression. "Woah! What happened to you?" She lifted her hands and squished his cheeks as she added in distress, "What's up with this hoodlum manners? Where is the sweet, cute, and sensitive Hedi that I used to know?"

"Oh, I'm sorry if I disappointed you," said Dylan sarcastically.

"But I only accept apologies in cash," replied Nora making Dylan's face twitch while Xiu laughed at the side.

Giving her best friend a thumbs up, she said, "That was a good one."

Dylan observed Nora's face for a moment longer before saying, "You also don't look like the teenage fangirl I remember."

The smile on Nora's face stiffened. She sat down on the empty chair and picked up a glass of water for herself. She could feel Dylan's inquiring eyes on herself but she wasn't planning on saying anything before everyone.

"How do you guys know each other?" The question was asked by Xiu who had never seen both Dylan and Nora so quiet before. 

Nora and Dylan shared a look before Dylan answered, "We met at an old age home seven years back when both of us were volunteering there during summer vacations."

Xiu gave Dylan a weird look as she said, "You and volunteering? Why is it so hard to believe?"

Dylan rolled his eyes at her and was about to say something when Darren beat him to it, "He didn't go willingly. His mother forced him to do so."

Xiu had a look of 'thought-so' on her face with a smug smile. 

"Why don't you ask your best friend as well? She also wasn't there because of her love for humanity. She went just to see... OW!" Before Dylan could spill all the beans, Nora kicked his knee from under the table while glaring at him in a warning. "What was that for?!" Dylan wanted to holler but he could only whisper yell at Nora for such insolence.

"Watch what you say! Just because we haven't met in a couple of years doesn't mean I have forgotten all the secrets you shared with me," was Nora's reply to him with a sly smile. "Besides, I'm sure I'll find those pictures of yours somewhere if I tried looking. Do you want me to publish those pictures for the world to see?"

Dylan scoffed but he didn't know whether he was scoffing at her or himself. "No wonder you both are best friends." He said looking at Xiu and Nora. He shook his head before leaning close to her and saying, "My ice cream buddy, don't forget that I have your deepest darkest secrets buried in my heart as well. Don't test me as well."

Nora closed her eyes briefly before holding his wrist and dragging him with herself outside the hall. Dylan silently followed her. Bringing him to a quiet corner, she said, "You promised you won't repeat any of that ever again."

"I wasn't going to. But you started it first. Besides, do I look like a punching bag? Every single person is punching me these days." Dylan was really aggrieved as he remembered how every person was treating him these days. From his own mother to his best friend, every single person was out to get him. He felt wronged. Really wronged.

Nora took a deep breath and said, "Sorry about kicking you but at that time, I only knew that way to stop you from completing that sentence. I don't want Xiu to hear any of that."

"What? Why? Isn't she your best friend?" Dylan asked doubtfully. "Doesn't she know anything about that summer?"

"Hedi, does Darren know why you broke up with your girlfriend?" At Nora's question, Dylan was stumped for words. He looked unsettled as he looked at Nora. "Exactly, my point. Just like you don't want Darren to know about that. So do I. I don't want Xiu to know any of that. I'm scared of losing her."

They both stood silently looking at the night sky through the glass walls. When the silence thickened, Nora suddenly laughed and said, "By the way, when I first saw you with Xiu near your company, I wanted to tell her how I know you but the way she painted your image as a devil before me, I just could not bring myself to do so."

"People often see they reflection in others," remarked Dylan casually.

Nora hit his shoulder, "Hey, you can't call my best friend a devil."

Dylan looked her up and down before saying, "Honestly speaking, I didn't recognize you at all. At least, not until I heard your full name. You looked way different in your teenage years." As if thinking about the past, he smiled to himself as he added, "Those two pigtails with the dress that didn't even fit you. Wow, you looked cute and innocent even if you weren't. But now... Sigh. I have no words."

"All of that effort was..." Nora left her words unsaid since Dylan didn't need the explanation.

"You didn't see him after that incident?" Nora shook her head in negation at his question.

"What about you? Did she ever come back?"

Dylan snorted, "I'm not waiting for her to come back. As for you, I can tell you're still waiting for him."

"Don't spout nonsense! I'm not a lovestruck teenager anymore. I have had a fair share of boyfriends."

Dylan found her reply funny as he said, "If you weren't waiting for him, you wouldn't be scared of even talking about him. The reason you're so taken aback to see me is that looking at me reminds you of all the time, you spent with him." 

Nora didn't give a response. She was perturbed since she had no way to refute his words. Exactly, this was the reason why she had kept her distance from Dylan. He knew everything about her that she even avoided repeating in her loneliness.