Imperfect Desires

The innocence with which Jackson had spoken was remarkable. As they say that children's innocence always shines brighter than the rest of mankind. And that innocence is the reason that children always stands out from the rest.

"Cough! Cough! Cough!" Nora was coughing profoundly while Xiu was gaping at him in disbelief.

Xiu glared at Nora and mouthed, "This is all your fault for talking nonsense before him!"

Nora replied in the same way, "Alright, alright. Leave it to me. Let me handle this." Then she turned to Jackson and said, "Little brother, people don't only fall in love. Some even fall to their deaths."

Xiu facepalmed herself as she heard Nora's punch-in-the-face worthy reasoning. Was she crazy? How could she talk about death to a seven-year-old?

However, Jackson's reaction was even more unexpected as he said, "Fall to death or fall in love, is there even a difference? Sister, both things are the same."

Xiu held his arm and turned him to face herself as she tried to explain, "Jackie, it's not the same thing."

"Baby Xiu, death means you stop breathing. Love means your heart stops beating for yourself. In both cases, a person dies. The difference is when someone stops breathing, we hold a funeral. But a person in love dies inside. We can't possibly hold a funeral for that person. After all, even as an empty shell, that person is still breathing."

A strange and thick silence engulfed the room. None of them spoke again. Jackson's curious, innocent and young eyes blinked at both his sisters. As for Xiu and Nora, they both were trying to find a way to refute what he said. The only problem was that they couldn't find a way to refute the truth he laid bare before them in his innocence without even realizing it himself.

"Jackie, where did you learn all this?" Nora was lost in her own thoughts when Xiu asked.

"Baby Xiu, I'm seven. I'm young and curious. And the way adults are painting this world before me is becoming scary. You used to teach me that love is beautiful. I still believe in you but it's becoming difficult to believe in love now." His answer stumped Xiu for words yet again. It was dangerous to have genius kids around.

Xiu held his hands in her own and said, "Jackie, you are right... The way adults see this world is scary. But you're not them. Your way of seeing this world and their way has nothing to do with each other. Stop looking at this world through the peephole that adults made for you. Unless you open your own eyes to explore, the world will just be a scary place." She patted his head affectionately and added, "Don't you remember, I told you before that darkness is just an illusion. Sunlight might be late but it's always there. All we have to do is wait and believe. All you have to do is believe in your sister and look at this world in your own way. The world won't be scary anymore. And please, stop reading these psychological books."

Before she could get stuck with another awkward conversation, she stood up to leave and said goodbye to a very absentminded Nora and Jackson.

Xiu was still disturbed by the deep questions that Jackson brought up early in the morning. If she hadn't experienced it herself, she wouldn't have believed that a seven-year-old could say such things. But then again, that seven-year-old had the IQ level higher than her own. It was no wonder he was so perceptive and sensitive to everything around him.

"Ms. Bai, there is mail for you," the receptionist's voice startled Xiu a bit and she collected her letter from the front desk. 

While she was signing her name, she heard, "Morning, Sweets!"

Xiu turned her head and smiled at Darren while replying, "Morning, Mr. Salvay!"

"Is it just me or is this really your first time calling me Mr. Salvay?" Darren sounded confused as he walked with her towards the glass doors of the building.

"Hmm... It really is my first time calling you Mr. Salvay," replied Xiu while stuffing her mail in the purse. Her eyes wandered to his face and she frowned slightly as she asked, "Are you okay?"

"Abso-bloody-lutely!" replied Darren with his usual polite smile. Recalling something, he added, "On another note, did Dylan disturb you this morning?"

"How do you know that?" she narrowed her eyes at him with a skeptical look.

"I have my own spies around him," answered Darren in an ambiguous manner. "Come, I'll drop you off at your office."

Xiu looked at the car door which he had opened for her and said, "Nah! I should not take advantage of my boyfriend just yet."

"Only my girlfriend can take advantage of me and since you're the one with the title, then you should take as much advantage as you can," Darren sounded playful to her but she could tell he meant well.

"I'd love to do that but... What's the hurry? For now, I'll take the bus." It wasn't that Xiu didn't want to take up his offer. But she didn't want to depend on him so soon. If she got used to his care too much, and this thing between them really didn't work out... Sigh. Only she knew how scared she was of just this idea.

As she had crossed the road to walk towards the nearest bus stop, she found Darren walking beside her. "What are you doing?" Xiu asked doubtfully.

"Since I can't give you a ride, I thought I should accompany you to the bus stop. That's the least I can do." Xiu tried hard not to let his words touch her too deeply but it was hard. It was harder when she looked into his grey expressive eyes. Those orbs could suck her whole and she was certain of that!

To distract herself, she told him all about how Dylan spoiled her morning with his stupid prank. At first, he laughed and then he said, "Sorry about that. He... He just doesn't like you."

Xiu lifted her hand and beckoned him to come closer. Darren had to hunch a bit to come to her level. Xiu stared at his face and said, "That's what I don't understand. Imagine, just imagine not liking someone like me... me... A beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, smart, wise, phenomenal woman... Tragic, isn't it?" 

Darren's lips turned upwards slightly at her praising herself. He placed his hand on her head and looked into her eyes as he said, "It's really tragic."

Xiu smiled at his reply and kissed him on the cheek before boarding on the bus while waving her hand at him, "Have a good day, Mr. Official Boyfriend."