Chapter 576: Inferiority and Fear

Chapter 576 -573: Inferiority and Fear

This was a fear born from inadequacy, a worry that he wouldn’t do well enough, that nothing he did would ever be satisfactory.

As a healer, he was terrified of his own abilities—afraid he couldn’t complete a healing, couldn’t fulfill his duties, couldn’t satisfy his patients.

Watching Poke tremble all over, Mo Ling finally realized that even this powerful race, possessing such wondrous strength, could be filled with self-doubt.

Fear stemmed from doubt, and doubt stemmed from inadequacy.

Poke carried a deep sense of inadequacy, and it brought him endless fear.

Recalling their previous experiences, Mo Ling couldn’t help but suspect that Poke had also been infected by those black spheres, causing him to inject his personal emotions into the healing process.

These personal emotions had led him to become abnormally obsessed with eradicating the parasitic plants. Even after so many cycles, he stubbornly persisted in this task.

Thinking of this, Mo Ling immediately asked Xi, “Xi, do you sense any strange emotions here?”

Xi immediately understood what Mo Ling meant, but he negated Mo Ling’s suspicion. “Senior, there are no strange emotions in Poke’s Healing Space, and I don’t see any of those black things either.”

“I checked the moment I entered. I didn’t find anything, but it’s possible they’re hiding somewhere I can’t find.”

Mo Ling was a little surprised by Xi’s answer.

“None?”

‘Could it be that Poke wasn’t attacked by those black spheres at all?’

Seeing Poke’s current dazed and oblivious state, Mo Ling could only advise, “Xi, after Poke wakes up, check his body and see what’s going on with his memories. If his memories return, there might be a clue.”

“I understand, Senior.”

As the parasitic plants were completely eradicated, everything in the surroundings began to shatter.

The surrounding rainforest, like shattered glass, tumbled down and then vanished without a trace, like smoke and dust.

And behind the glass shards was a sea of burning fire.

The sea of fire was also rapidly collapsing, and behind the cracks were those swelling plants.

Layer by layer, the environmental “textures” revealed themselves one after another. These were every scene Poke had experienced.

As these scenes appeared, Poke fell to his knees in agony, shaking the orb of light that was his head.

“Poke, what’s wrong?” Xi asked with concern.

“I remember… I remember…”

In that moment, it seemed all his memories flooded into Poke’s mind. He instantly recalled everything he had done in each scene, the disasters from every cycle continuously assaulting his psyche.

The sea of fire, the swelling, the glaciers, the desert…

At that instant, countless suppressed emotions rushed into Poke’s memory.

The “source” he had been pursuing was nothing more than a series of impossible healings.

His inadequacy and fear had compounded with each failed healing, twisting into a great shadow in his subconscious. Even though he had lost his memories, these experiences continued to affect him from the depths of his consciousness, making him even more inadequate, even more fearful.

“I understand now, why I trembled every time I healed.”

Poke said blankly, finally understanding the source of his inadequacy.

“Are you okay, Poke?” Xi said worriedly, placing a gentle hand on Poke’s shoulder.

A sudden influx of complex memories could easily cause a mental breakdown.

However, after receiving all of this, Poke actually calmed down.

“I’m fine. I feel relieved.”

‘Relieved?’ Xi almost thought the shock had caused Poke to snap.

“Of course. I’ve been through so many cycles and failed so many times, but no patient was ever truly harmed. Isn’t that something to be thankful for?”

Poke slowly stood up from the ground.

“These memories were subtly changing me. They used repeated failures to make me more inadequate, more fearful, making me unconsciously doubt my own healing.”

“You know, Xi? I actually knew my formula was correct, but I would doubt myself, I would run away. I would think that if I didn’t try, I couldn’t fail. My hands were always trembling.”

“This fear, which came from I-don’t-know-where, was always affecting me. Every time I mustered my courage, it would lead to an even greater failure. It made me instinctively resist being brave.”

Poke’s orb of light flickered, shining down on Xi. In that moment, the light of the two healers echoed each other, becoming the sole anchor amidst the shattering scenery.

“I doubted myself too much. That’s why I was so happy when you came. I needed a companion to verify my formula. That way, even if something went wrong, it wouldn’t be entirely my responsibility. I was trying every way I could to run from myself.”

“Actually, it was the same on Hundred Flowers Island. I didn’t dare make decisions on my own. I would always find you and have you decide for me…”

Hearing this, Xi interrupted Poke’s confession. “The fact that you were able to leave the Hua Sheng Islands already makes you braver than most healers.”

“That was also a decision you made for me, remember?” Poke asked in return.

Xi paused. “I guess you’re right…”

“Whatever.” Xi clapped Poke firmly on the shoulder. “There’s no rule that says responsibility has to be shouldered alone, is there?”

“Asking for help when you’re scared is a perfectly normal thing to do, isn’t it?”

“I get scared all the time, too. Everyone gets scared… But we’re companions, aren’t we? Companions are for sharing the fear.”

Hearing this, Poke also paused. “Is that all?”

“And for taking the blame together when things go wrong?” Xi said uncertainly.

“What else?”

“And… when you want to be lazy, you can make your companion work hard?”

“Huh?”

“Also, when you have a powerful companion, you can just ride their coattails. All you have to do is cheer from the sidelines… When you run away, you can split up and go your separate ways… And, when you’re attacked, you can hide behind your companion…”

“Why do I feel like this is getting a little weird?” Poke said, breaking out in a cold sweat.

Xi also realized his explanation had gone a bit off the rails and quickly changed the subject:

“You’re feeling much better now, right?”

“I’ve recovered, but there are still some gaps in my memory. They probably won’t come back until after we get out of here.”

As they spoke, the surrounding scenery had collapsed to its final stage.

As the scene of swirling yellow sand gradually shattered, a maze enclosed by black walls was revealed. This was the “bottom-most” layer, and also the scene closest to reality.

Upon seeing the black walls, Poke froze in place, as if he had suddenly remembered something.

His orb of light flickered violently, as if he had suffered some tremendous shock. In that instant, a crack appeared in his sealed memories…