Chapter 281: The Wounds He Never Outgrew

Erza suddenly had a very bad feeling.

"Sister Mary."

Mary calmly adjusted her clothes as though she were preparing to leave the sanctuary for an entirely ordinary reason. The gentle smile upon her face remained unchanged, but the faint green aura still surrounding her made it painfully obvious that there was nothing ordinary about the conversation she intended to have.

"I believe I need to have a conversation with the boy I raised."

The coldness beneath Sister Mary’s otherwise pleasant voice made even Erza hesitate.

"Sister Mary, wait..."

Mary glanced back toward her, and somehow her smile became even gentler.

"A very long conversation, my Queen."

Erza’s eyes widened slightly when Sister Mary actually began turning toward the pathway. Whatever anger Erza herself had felt toward Yuuta disappeared beneath an immediate instinct to stop Mary before her husband somehow found himself facing an enraged Holy Saint tonight.

"No, no. There’s no need for that, Sister Mary."

Erza quickly waved one hand before reaching toward her.

Sister Mary stopped, although the violet aura around her didn’t disappear.

"My Queen, I know Yuuta was angry. I know that foolish boy says things without thinking when his emotions overwhelm him, and I can understand why discovering another missing memory would affect him so deeply."

Mary’s expression gradually became more serious.

"But what you told me is something I cannot simply tolerate."

"Sister Mary..."

Mary slowly shook her head.

"I’m sorry, Your Highness."

For the first time since her anger appeared, the coldness in Mary’s expression weakened. What replaced it wasn’t calmness but genuine disappointment, and somehow that seemed far heavier coming from the woman who had raised Yuuta herself.

"I never imagined he would do something like this."

Mary looked away for a moment as she tried to reconcile the Yuuta she knew with the words Erza had just repeated to her. She had seen him angry countless times throughout his childhood and had endured more than enough of his stubbornness to know how difficult he could become, but hearing that he had reduced Erza to tears by attacking the very sincerity of her love still felt almost impossible to accept.

"I just..."

Sister Mary paused, visibly struggling to find the right words.

"I simply can’t believe he said those things to you."

Erza quietly watched her.

"I understand."

Her voice trembled slightly despite how much calmer she had become.

"It surprised me too."

Erza’s gaze slowly moved away from Mary and toward the moon visible above the sanctuary. Remembering the argument still hurt, but after finally allowing herself to cry and then telling someone what had happened, she could look back upon those moments with slightly more clarity than before.

"I never knew Yuuta had that side of him."

Sister Mary looked toward her again.

Erza remained quiet for several seconds while remembering Yuuta’s face during their argument. She remembered the anger in his crimson eyes, the accusations and the cruelty of his words, but now she also remembered something else that had been buried beneath all of it.

His desperation.

The way he had insisted that he was ready for the truth.

The way he had prepared for the possibility that she might erase his memory.

The way every answer seemed to matter to him far more than it should have if this had only been ordinary curiosity.

Erza’s expression gradually softened.

"But looking back at it now..."

She hesitated before continuing.

"I think he was scared."

Sister Mary’s brows drew together.

"Scared?"

"Yes."

Erza slowly nodded.

"I didn’t understand it while we were arguing because I was too hurt by what he was saying. I kept thinking he was simply angry because I erased his memory again."

Her fingers slowly curled against her lap.

"But he was desperate before that."

Erza remembered Yuuta trying to convince her that he could handle the truth, showing her his aura and refusing to let the matter go despite every warning she gave him. At the time she had interpreted his persistence as ordinary Yuuta stubbornness, but after everything that happened, it seemed considerably more complicated.

"He was searching for something."

Sister Mary remained silent and allowed her to continue.

"I don’t know exactly what."

Erza’s violet eyes lowered.

"But whatever it was, he wanted an answer badly enough that he prepared himself for me trying to erase his memory. He knew I might do it, Sister Mary, and he still continued."

A faint sorrow entered her voice.

"Then when he finally believed I was going to give him that answer, his body rejected it. He nearly died because of it, and the next thing he knew, I was taking the answer away from him again."

Erza closed her eyes briefly.

"I think he was afraid."

She swallowed.

"Afraid that he would never know."

Sister Mary’s anger gradually stopped growing.

Erza noticed the change but continued.

"And when I refused to let him keep searching..."

Her voice became quieter.

"He hurt me."

Erza didn’t attempt to excuse what Yuuta had said. The pain of those words was still there, and remembering them caused her fingers to tighten slightly, but there was no longer the same confusion surrounding why they had come from him.

"I don’t think that makes what he said right."

She looked toward Sister Mary.

"But I don’t think he said those things because he truly believes all of them either."

Mary stared at her for several moments.

Something Erza had said had awakened an old memory.

Afraid that he would never know.

Sister Mary’s violet aura gradually weakened.

"I see..."

Erza noticed the distant expression that appeared upon her face.

"Sister Mary?"

Mary didn’t answer immediately. Her thoughts had already traveled many years into the past, toward a considerably smaller and far more troublesome boy than the man Erza knew today.

"My Queen..."

Mary’s expression softened.

"Yuuta used to be like this."

Erza blinked.

"Like this?"

"Stubborn."

The faintest smile appeared upon Mary’s face, although there was sadness behind it now.

"Far more stubborn than he is today."

Erza stared at Sister Mary with genuine surprise.

"Really?"

Sister Mary nodded before slowly returning to sit beside her. The anger that had driven the Holy Saint to her feet hadn’t disappeared completely, but it had weakened beneath the weight of memories she clearly hadn’t thought about in a very long time.

"Yes, my Queen. Whenever another child was adopted, Yuuta would become extremely difficult."

Mary released a faint sigh as she remembered those days.

"He would argue with me, raise his voice and sometimes even insult me because he wanted answers about his parents. He wanted to know where they were, why they had left him and why nobody ever came back for him."

Erza’s expression gradually changed as Mary’s words settled inside her.

During their argument, Yuuta had said something similar.

He had spoken about waking up without knowing who he truly was, about having no memories of his parents and about constantly wondering why he seemed to be the only person who couldn’t understand his own past. At the time, Erza had been too hurt and angry to properly think about what those words meant, but now she remembered the desperation behind them far more clearly.

It wasn’t simply curiosity.

Yuuta had spent his entire life wondering why he had been abandoned.

Erza lowered her gaze.

"So that’s why..."

Sister Mary looked toward her.

Erza remained quiet for another moment before slowly asking something that had begun bothering her.

"Then how did you handle him?"

Mary blinked.

Erza’s lips curved faintly despite everything.

"If he was already this stubborn as a grown man, then I can only imagine how troublesome little Yuuta must have been."

Sister Mary actually laughed softly at that.

"Oh, my Queen, you have no idea."

Her smile became warmer as she shook her head.

"He was so stubborn that there were days when I genuinely became exhausted trying to reason with him."

Erza’s faint smile grew slightly.

"That sounds familiar."

"It should."

Mary sighed again.

"But eventually I found a way to make him stop asking."

Erza looked toward her curiously.

"A way?"

"Yes."

Sister Mary nodded.

"I told him that once he graduated, I would tell him everything I knew about his parents."

Erza’s eyes slowly widened.

Mary continued without immediately noticing the change in her expression.

"I made him promise that until then, he would stop pushing himself so hard trying to find answers. I thought giving him something definite to wait for would calm him down."

Erza remained completely still.

A memory surfaced almost immediately.

The first time she had truly come to understand just how strangely determined Yuuta was to continue living, he had spoken about a promise.

One year.

He had wanted one more year.

Even while standing so close to death, he had desperately clung to that single period of time because there was something he still had to finish.

Erza slowly understood.

"I see..."

Sister Mary turned toward her.

"My Queen?"

Erza’s expression softened with realization.

"Now I understand."

She looked down at her hands.

"That fool didn’t care about college because he loved studying."

A faint, bittersweet smile touched her lips.

"He went because of your promise."

Mary watched her quietly.

"He was waiting for the day you would finally tell him about his parents."

Erza’s smile weakened.

"Even when he was dying..."

Her voice became softer.

"He still wanted one more year."

Mary’s expression changed slightly.

Erza remembered Yuuta asking for that time with such desperate stubbornness that she had once found it ridiculous.

Now it made perfect sense.

"He wasn’t trying to finish some ordinary goal."

Erza swallowed.

"He was trying to reach the answer he had been waiting for since he was a child."

Sister Mary nodded slowly.

"Yes, my Queen."

Erza leaned back slightly against the bench and looked toward the moon once more.

For several moments, she said nothing.

The argument began returning again, but this time she saw Yuuta differently.

Not as the man who had stood before her deliberately insulting her love.

Not entirely.

She could also see the abandoned little boy Sister Mary had just described, someone who had spent years watching other children leave with families while he remained behind without knowing why nobody ever came for him.

And then Erza had unknowingly become another person standing between him and an answer.

Her chest tightened again, although this pain felt different.

Sister Mary noticed the change in Erza’s expression.

"Don’t misunderstand me, my Queen."

Erza looked toward her.

"What Yuuta said to you was still wrong, and I am certainly not taking his side."

Mary’s voice became serious again. Understanding where Yuuta’s anger had come from had softened some of her earlier fury, but it hadn’t erased her disappointment in the boy she had raised.

"He still needs a very serious conversation."

Erza stared at her for a moment before a small smile slowly appeared upon her lips.

"A serious conversation?"

For some reason, those words brought back another memory. She remembered Yuuta standing outside on the balcony long ago, desperately begging for forgiveness after managing to upset her, looking so pitiful while trying everything he could think of to escape her anger and begging god for forgiveness.

The memory unexpectedly amused her.

"I see."

Erza’s smile became slightly more noticeable.

"I think I would enjoy watching you punish him."

Sister Mary gave a small nod, seemingly pleased that Erza was finally beginning to smile again.

"Yes. He certainly needs that."

Erza slowly nodded.

"I think he does."

Neither woman spoke after that.

A strange silence gradually settled between them as Erza raised her eyes toward the moon once more. The sanctuary remained peaceful around them, with the faint rustling of leaves and the quiet movement of water from the nearby pond filling the space their conversation had left behind.

Erza’s smile gradually disappeared.

She found herself wondering what Yuuta was doing right now.

Does he still hate me?

The thought appeared before she could stop it.

Perhaps Yuuta was still angry. Perhaps he truly meant what he had shouted from the balcony, and now that she was gone, he was finally enjoying the freedom he had accused her of denying him.

Maybe the apartment felt more peaceful without her.

Maybe he was relieved that the troublesome Dragon Queen who constantly interfered with his life had finally disappeared.

Erza’s fingers slowly tightened together upon her lap as her chest began aching again. She didn’t understand why merely imagining Yuuta being happier without her hurt so badly, especially when she had been the one who told herself she wouldn’t return home tonight.

Yet another feeling quietly disturbed her.

For some reason, she couldn’t imagine Yuuta smiling.

Instead, whenever Erza closed her eyes and tried to picture him, the image that came to her mind was entirely different. She saw him sitting somewhere alone, his crimson eyes lowered and his face hidden while tears quietly escaped them.

Erza frowned.

Why am I imagining him crying?

She didn’t know.

Perhaps it was simply because she knew Yuuta too well, or perhaps some foolish part of her still desperately wanted to believe he regretted what he had said. Whatever the reason, Erza couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that Yuuta was hurting somewhere beneath the same night sky.

She eventually looked away from the moon and turned toward Sister Mary, intending to say something, only to stop when she noticed that Mary had become unusually quiet as well.

The Holy Saint wasn’t looking at her anymore.

Mary’s gaze had lowered slightly, and the distant expression upon her face made it obvious that her thoughts had wandered somewhere else entirely.

"Sister Mary?"

Mary didn’t respond immediately.

"Sister Mary."

This time, Mary blinked before looking toward her.

"I’m sorry, my Queen."

Erza tilted her head slightly.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

Mary paused, seemingly uncertain whether the thought occupying her mind was even worth mentioning.

"I was simply remembering something."

Erza’s brows drew together.

"Remembering?"

"Yes."

Mary’s expression became thoughtful again.

"I was thinking about Yuuta Habit."

The moment his name left Mary’s lips, Erza’s expression softened.

"Yuuta Habit?"

"Yes, my Queen."

Sister Mary remained silent for another moment. Her earlier memories of Yuuta as a child had apparently led her toward something else, because the concern gradually appearing upon her face was very different from the anger she had shown only minutes earlier.

"I was wondering..."

Mary hesitated.

"Has Yuuta eaten anything?"

Erza froze.

The question was so unexpected that she simply stared at Sister Mary for several seconds, waiting for some explanation that didn’t immediately come.

"What?"

Mary looked toward her.

Erza’s violet eyes had become completely serious now, and the sadness that had occupied them moments earlier was quickly being replaced by genuine confusion.

"What do you mean, Sister Mary?"

Sister Mary noticed the seriousness in Erza’s eyes and immediately realized that her simple question had caught the Queen completely off guard.

"Nothing, my Queen. I was simply wondering whether he has eaten anything."

Erza’s brows drew together.

"That’s what I’m asking."

Mary remained silent for a moment, debating whether she should explain the thought that had crossed her mind. It had been many years since she had needed to worry about Yuuta in that way, and she didn’t know whether those old habits had followed him into adulthood, but something inside her had suddenly made her think about them.

"Well, my Queen..."

Sister Mary’s expression softened.

"When Yuuta was younger, whenever something truly hurt him, he had a habit of forgetting about himself."

Erza listened carefully.

"If he became deeply sorrowful or overwhelmed, he wouldn’t feel like eating. Sometimes I would discover that he hadn’t drunk enough water either, and if whatever was troubling him continued into the night, he would barely sleep."

Erza’s expression slowly changed.

Mary continued without initially noticing how much those words were affecting her.

"It wasn’t something he did to punish anyone. He simply became so consumed by whatever was hurting him that everything else seemed to disappear from his mind."

Sister Mary’s gaze lowered as memories of a much younger Yuuta returned.

"I would usually notice before it went too far. I could always tell when he was hungry, no matter how stubbornly he insisted otherwise, so I would find him, sit with him and make him eat something."

A small smile briefly touched Mary’s lips.

"Afterward, I would stay beside him until he finally calmed down."

Mary paused.

The smile gradually disappeared.

"I know he’s far away right now, and perhaps I’m simply worrying too much..."

She placed a hand lightly against her chest.

"But for some reason, I feel as though that boy is hungry."

Her voice trembled slightly at the end.

Erza’s hand twitched.

"What does that mean?"

The question came so quickly that Mary looked toward her.

"No."

Erza immediately shook her head, realizing she had asked the wrong question.

"I mean... are you serious?"

Her fingers slowly tightened.

"When Yuuta becomes that upset, he really stops eating?"

Sister Mary hesitated before giving a small, nervous nod.

"Yes, my Queen."

Erza’s eyes widened.

Then that meant...

Yuuta hadn’t eaten since last night.

To Be Continued...