Chapter 279: Neither Knew the Other Was Crying

Location: Yuno City

Place: Yuuta’s Apartment

Evening had already settled over Yuno City by the time Yuuta finally returned to his apartment building.

He stood outside the entrance for several seconds without moving, staring blankly toward the third floor. His clothes were damp with sweat, his breathing remained uneven, and exhaustion weighed heavily upon every part of his body after spending hours moving from one place to another without allowing himself any proper rest.

He had searched everywhere he could think of.

Street after street, building after building, Yuuta had continued searching with only one desperate hope keeping his exhausted legs moving. He hadn’t expected Erza to forgive him immediately, nor had he imagined that everything between them could somehow return to normal with a few words.

He only wanted to see her.

Even a glimpse would have been enough.

He wanted one opportunity to stand before Erza and tell her that he was sorry. He wanted to take back every cruel word he had thrown at her in anger, even though he already knew some words couldn’t simply be erased after they had wounded someone.

But reality hadn’t been that kind to him.

Yuuta had found nothing.

He hadn’t eaten anything during the entire search, and he couldn’t even remember the last time he had stopped long enough to drink water. Whenever hunger or exhaustion began catching up with him, the memory of Erza crying before leaving had immediately pushed everything else from his mind.

He had wanted to keep searching.

Another hour.

Another street.

If necessary, the entire night.

Yuuta might have done exactly that if another face hadn’t suddenly appeared inside his mind.

Elena.

His daughter was still at home.

She had been waiting for him for hours, and by now she was probably hungry. Yuuta had already disappeared on her for most of the day, and no matter how desperately he wanted to find Erza, he couldn’t abandon Elena as well.

That thought alone had finally forced him to return.

Yuuta lowered his gaze from the third floor and entered the building.

The staircase looked considerably more exhausting than it normally did. His legs already ached from hours of running and walking throughout Yuno City, and the soles of his feet hurt every time he placed his weight upon them, but he grabbed the railing and slowly began climbing.

One step followed another.

By the time Yuuta reached the second floor, his breathing had become heavier. He briefly leaned against the railing before forcing himself onward, unwilling to remain there when he knew Elena was waiting above.

Eventually, he reached the third floor.

Yuuta moved slowly along the familiar corridor, passing several neighboring apartments until the number he had been looking for finally appeared ahead.

305.

He stopped outside the door.

For several seconds, Yuuta simply stood there and breathed.

Then he looked down at himself.

His clothes were dirty, his hair was disheveled and his face probably looked even worse after everything that had happened. Yuuta raised his arm and used the sleeve of his T-shirt to wipe the sweat and remaining moisture from his face.

His hand stopped when he noticed the faint wetness near his eyes.

Yuuta quickly wiped it away.

Elena couldn’t see him like this.

He took several deep breaths and rubbed his face before pulling his sleeve down to hide the dirt he had just wiped onto it. Then he tried to smile.

It looked terrible.

Yuuta let the expression disappear before trying again.

Still terrible.

"Come on..."

He quietly rubbed both cheeks.

"Just act normal."

Yuuta forced another smile onto his face and held it there for several seconds. It wasn’t convincing, but it would have to be enough.

At least for Elena.

He reached for the handle.

The apartment door creaked softly as Yuuta pushed it open, and he immediately prepared himself to greet his daughter as though everything were perfectly normal.

"Elena, Papa’s got...."

Yuuta stopped.

His eyes widened.

Elena was standing directly in front of him.

Her tiny arms were crossed firmly over her chest, her cheeks were puffed out and an unmistakably angry expression covered her face. She had apparently been waiting for him to return, and judging by the way her eyes narrowed the moment he entered, his carefully practiced smile wasn’t going to save him.

Yuuta remained frozen in the doorway while Elena continued staring at him with an intensity that felt disturbingly familiar. Despite being only four years old, she somehow managed to reproduce enough of her mother’s expression to make Yuuta instinctively straighten his back.

He swallowed.

"...home."

Elena’s eyes narrowed even further.

"Papa."

Yuuta’s nervous smile twitched.

"Yes, Princess?"

"Where were you?"

Her little voice still possessed the unmistakable softness of a toddler, yet she was trying so hard to sound cold that Yuuta almost forgot how exhausted he was. With her arms crossed and her tiny eyebrows pulled together, she looked like a miniature version of Erza attempting to interrogate someone.

Yuuta forced a laugh.

"Hehe... well, Papa was searching for..."

The word nearly escaped.

Mama.

Yuuta stopped himself just in time.

His smile faltered for the briefest moment as Erza’s crying face immediately returned to his mind, but he quickly buried the memory before Elena could notice. Elena didn’t know that Erza had disappeared after their argument, and Yuuta had no intention of telling her tonight.

If Elena learned that Mama was missing, she would worry.

Worse, she might cry.

After everything Yuuta had already done today, seeing his daughter cry because of another mistake he had made was something he couldn’t bear.

Elena continued staring suspiciously at him.

"Papa?"

Yuuta blinked and quickly recovered.

"Ah! Right. Papa was searching for..."

His mind desperately searched for the first harmless excuse it could find.

"...a toy."

Elena’s eyebrows lowered.

"A toy?"

"Yes."

Yuuta nodded far too enthusiastically.

"A really, really difficult toy to find."

Elena remained suspicious.

"Really?"

"Really, Princess."

Yuuta placed one hand against his chest as though his honor had just been questioned.

"Papa searched everywhere."

That part, at least, wasn’t a lie.

Elena stared at him for several more seconds.

Yuuta found himself becoming increasingly nervous beneath the gaze of a four-year-old.

Since when did she become this much like Erza?

The resemblance was becoming genuinely terrifying.

Elena’s cheeks suddenly puffed out again.

"Papa made Elena wait."

Yuuta’s expression softened.

Before he could apologize, Elena’s crossed arms suddenly separated and all the anger disappeared from her little face. She rushed toward him with tiny hurried footsteps before wrapping both arms tightly around his leg.

Yuuta looked down in surprise.

"Elena?"

"Papa is mean..."

Her voice had changed completely.

The cold little imitation of Erza was gone.

Yuuta felt Elena’s fingers clutch the fabric of his trousers as she pressed her face against his leg. Her tiny shoulders trembled, and when she spoke again, the anger she had been pretending to feel finally gave way to what had actually been hiding underneath.

"Elena waited for Papa..."

Yuuta’s heart tightened.

"And Mama..."

Her grip became stronger.

"But nobody came."

Yuuta’s forced smile disappeared.

Elena sniffled quietly against his leg.

"Elena was angry."

She paused before admitting the part she had clearly been trying to hide.

"But Elena was scared too..."

Yuuta’s chest tightened painfully.

Only then did he understand what the little girl had been doing.

Elena hadn’t been standing there with her arms crossed because she genuinely wanted to punish him. She had been alone, waiting for both of her parents to return, and when neither of them appeared, she had become frightened.

So she had done what she always saw Mama do.

She had tried to look strong.

Yuuta slowly crouched in front of her despite the pain running through his exhausted legs. The moment he reached Elena’s height, he saw the tears already gathering within her eyes even though she was desperately trying to keep them from falling.

"Princess..."

Elena immediately threw her arms around his neck.

Yuuta caught her and pulled her against his chest.

"Papa was gone for so long..."

Her voice trembled beside his ear.

"Elena thought Papa wasn’t coming back."

Yuuta closed his eyes.

Those words hurt considerably more than he expected.

He had spent the entire day thinking about finding Erza, apologizing to Erza and somehow repairing the damage he had caused between them. Somewhere inside that desperation, he hadn’t properly considered what Elena would feel when she realized both of her parents had suddenly disappeared.

Yuuta gently wrapped both arms around his daughter.

"I’m sorry."

His hand moved slowly across her little back.

"Papa’s really sorry, Princess."

Elena buried her face against his shoulder.

"Don’t go away like that..."

Yuuta held her tighter.

"I won’t."

His voice became softer.

"Papa won’t leave Elena alone like that again."

Elena sniffled several times before her tiny arms tightened around his neck, finally allowing herself to relax now that he was actually standing in front of her.

Yuuta remained crouched near the doorway with his daughter held against his chest. His body was exhausted, his stomach was empty, and some part of him still desperately wanted to run back outside and continue searching for Erza. Yet the small arms wrapped around his neck reminded him that another person he loved needed him right now, and he couldn’t abandon Elena simply because his own heart was hurting.

A strange sound suddenly interrupted the silence.

Grrrrrr...

Yuuta blinked.

He lowered his gaze toward Elena, only to find the little girl already looking up at him with an innocent smile. Whatever sadness had covered her face moments earlier had seemingly disappeared as she placed both hands over her stomach.

"Papa..."

"Yes?"

"Elena’s tummy is hungry."

Yuuta stared at her for a second before a tired smile finally appeared upon his face.

"Is that so?"

Elena nodded enthusiastically.

"Very hungry."

"Okay, Princess."

Yuuta gently wiped the remaining moisture beneath her eyes with his thumb.

"Wait a little. Papa will make something for you."

The moment Yuuta started getting back onto his feet, Elena immediately lifted both arms toward him.

"Carry me."

Yuuta looked at her.

"Elena, Papa’s legs are already...."

"Carry me, Papa!"

Both little arms stretched even higher.

"Carry Elena!"

Yuuta released a defeated sigh, although the faint smile remained upon his face.

"Fine, fine. Come here."

He slipped his arms beneath Elena and lifted her from the floor. Elena immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled triumphantly, apparently having forgotten that she had been glaring at him like a miniature Erza only a minute earlier.

Yuuta carried her farther into the apartment.

Then he stopped.

His eyes slowly moved across the living room.

Sheets of paper were scattered across the floor. Crayons were everywhere, several toys had been abandoned between them, a small pillow had somehow ended up near the television, and the television itself was still playing whatever Elena had been watching while waiting for him.

Yuuta stared silently at the destruction.

Then he slowly looked toward the little girl in his arms.

"Elena."

Elena immediately turned her head away.

Yuuta’s eyebrow twitched.

"Why does the living room look like this?"

"It’s not Elena’s fault."

"You haven’t even heard what Papa was going to say."

"It’s Papa’s fault."

Yuuta stared at her in disbelief.

"My fault?"

Elena finally looked at him again, her cheeks puffing out.

"Yes. Elena was waiting, but Papa didn’t come."

She pointed accusingly at him with one tiny finger.

"So Papa’s fault."

Yuuta opened his mouth, prepared to defend himself, but after several seconds he simply closed it again. He was far too exhausted to argue with a four-year-old who had somehow already decided that she possessed an unbeatable explanation for everything.

"Of course it’s Papa’s fault..."

He sighed and placed Elena back onto the floor.

"All right, Princess. You clean up the living room while Papa makes dinner."

Elena immediately puffed her cheeks.

"But Elena is hungry."

"And Papa can’t cook and clean this disaster at the same time."

Elena looked around the room as though only now realizing how much of a mess she had created. After considering her options for several seconds, she reluctantly crouched down and picked up one of the crayons.

"Okay..."

"Good girl."

Yuuta was about to turn toward the kitchen when something among the scattered papers caught his attention.

He stopped.

A drawing lay near his foot.

Yuuta bent down and picked it up.

At first, there was nothing particularly remarkable about it. The lines were uneven, the proportions were completely wrong, and several colors had escaped far beyond whatever boundaries Elena had intended for them. It was exactly the kind of drawing anyone would expect from a four-year-old.

Yet Yuuta recognized everyone in it immediately.

Erza was sitting on the couch.

Her silver hair had been represented by several long grey lines surrounding a round face, while a large television had been drawn directly in front of her. Beside the couch was a tiny Elena surrounded by toys, and farther away, inside what was clearly supposed to be the kitchen, stood Yuuta.

He was cooking.

Yuuta’s smile slowly disappeared.

He remembered that day.

There hadn’t been anything special about it.

Erza had simply been sitting on the couch watching television while he prepared dinner. She had occasionally complained about whatever program she was watching, and Yuuta had been moving between the stove and refrigerator while wondering what he should cook because Erza and Elena somehow managed to have completely different preferences despite being mother and daughter.

Elena had been playing on the floor.

That was all.

There had been no battle.

No argument.

No questions about Aesthor.

No secrets he desperately needed answered.

There had only been Erza watching television, Elena playing with her toys and Yuuta cooking dinner for them.

At the time, Yuuta hadn’t thought much about it.

It had simply been another ordinary day.

Now, staring at Elena’s childish drawing, he finally understood how precious that ordinary day had been.

His fingers tightened around the paper.

The image blurred.

Yuuta blinked before realizing tears had gathered in his eyes again.

He still wanted answers. Perhaps some part of him always would.

But wanting the truth had never required him to hurt Erza in order to obtain it.

His gaze returned to the crudely drawn woman sitting on the couch.

Only a Day ago, that place had been part of their ordinary life.

Now it was empty.

Yuuta slowly lowered himself onto one knee.

For the first time since their argument, he wasn’t thinking about what Erza had refused to tell him.

He was thinking about what he had done when she couldn’t.

______________

Location: Liebus Agency

Place: Medical Room

Fiona’s eyes widened.

Loid’s words continued echoing inside her head no matter how desperately she tried to push them away.

Yuuta doesn’t love you.

And you don’t love him.

You both simply needed each other because neither of you wanted to be alone.

Fiona had never seriously considered that possibility before. For so long, she had simply accepted that what she felt toward Yuuta was love, and because she had never questioned it, she had never needed to search for another explanation.

But now Loid had forced the question into her mind.

Do I really love Yuuta?

Fiona’s chest tightened.

The worst part wasn’t the question itself.

It was that she couldn’t immediately answer it.

Loid watched the uncertainty spreading across her face, and despite the pain burning through his damaged throat, he forced himself to speak.

"See...?"

His voice came out painfully hoarse.

"That’s the truth, Fiona."

Fiona looked at him.

"Even now... you’re thinking about it."

Loid swallowed painfully before continuing.

"If you really loved him... you would’ve denied everything I said immediately. You would’ve called me an idiot and told me I was wrong."

His tired eyes remained fixed upon her.

"But you didn’t."

Fiona’s lips parted.

"No, I..."

Nothing followed.

She wanted to deny him.

She wanted to say that he was wrong and that she loved Yuuta, yet something inside her refused to let those words come as easily as they once had.

Then another memory entered her mind.

Loid hanging helplessly from Erza’s hand.

His face losing color.

His body slowly becoming limp.

The terror Fiona had felt in that moment returned so violently that her stomach twisted. She remembered placing her own sword against herself, throwing it away, falling to her knees and begging Erza before thousands of people.

She hadn’t thought about Yuuta then.

She hadn’t thought about the Aesthor stone.

She hadn’t thought about power, pride or even herself.

She had only thought about Loid dying.

And she had been willing to do anything to prevent it.

Fiona’s eyes began to sting.

No...

She couldn’t follow that thought any further.

Because it was already too late.

She had told Erza she loved Yuuta. She had accepted the possibility of remaining beside him someday, and Erza had trusted her enough to consider placing something incredibly precious into her hands.

Yuuta.

And Fiona had seen what happened when someone betrayed Erza’s trust.

She had watched Loid nearly die tonight.

Fear suddenly mixed with the confusion inside her.

Loid noticed immediately.

"Fiona?"

"No."

The word escaped before she could stop it.

Loid frowned.

"What?"

Fiona raised her head.

"No, Loid."

Her voice was louder this time.

"You’re wrong."

Loid stared at her in genuine confusion. Only moments ago, Fiona had looked as though she were finally allowing herself to consider everything he had said, yet now something entirely different had appeared within her eyes.

"Fiona, what are you talking about?"

"You’re wrong about me."

She forced herself to look directly at him.

"I love Yuuta."

Loid remained silent for a moment.

Then his brow furrowed.

"You don’t believe that."

Fiona’s heart jumped.

"Yes, I do."

"Then why are you crying?"

Only then did Fiona realize moisture had gathered along her eyelashes.

She quickly wiped it away.

"I’m not."

"Fiona."

"I said I’m not!"

Her voice rose sharply enough that the monitor beside Loid seemed suddenly louder in the silence that followed.

Loid stared at her.

Fiona’s hands were trembling.

He slowly began pushing himself upright.

"Fiona, just think for a second. You don’t have to decide anything right now. I’m only asking you to stop lying to your..."

"Don’t."

Loid stopped.

Fiona’s expression hardened.

"Don’t make me repeat myself."

There was something different in her voice now. It wasn’t certainty that Loid heard, but desperation disguised as anger, and that only made his expression more troubled.

"I love Yuuta."

Fiona forced herself to say it clearly.

"And I can’t accept your feelings."

Loid’s face slowly changed.

"Fiona..."

"I never loved you."

The words hurt the moment they left her mouth.

Fiona knew they were cruel. She knew Loid had done nothing tonight except finally tell her something he had apparently carried since childhood, and some part of her desperately wanted to take the words back before they could reach him.

Instead, she made herself continue.

"So stop being a delusional idiot."

Loid stared at her.

For several seconds, neither of them spoke. Fiona couldn’t bring herself to look directly into his eyes anymore, because she was afraid of what she might see there and even more afraid that seeing his pain would make her take everything back.

She stood from the chair.

"Get some rest."

Loid’s lips parted.

"Fiona, wait."

She turned toward the door.

"Fiona."

His damaged voice barely managed to follow her.

Fiona didn’t stop.

She opened the door and stepped into the corridor before closing it behind herself.

The moment the door clicked shut, Fiona stopped walking.

Her hand remained wrapped around the handle as she stood there with her back against the door. She tried to take a breath, but it came out broken, and she quickly covered her mouth with one hand when the first tear escaped.

Then another followed.

Fiona squeezed her eyes shut as her shoulders began trembling. She had gone into that room believing she understood exactly who she loved and what place Loid held within her life, yet she had walked out unable to trust any of those answers anymore.

Worst of all, she knew why she had rejected him so cruelly.

It wasn’t because his words had convinced her that he was wrong.

It was because some part of her was terrified that he might be right.

On the other side of the door, Loid remained sitting silently upon the medical bed. His eyes stayed fixed upon the place where Fiona had disappeared, while the pain in his throat suddenly felt insignificant compared to the emptiness spreading through his chest.

He had waited years to tell her.

Perhaps some foolish part of him had always believed that once Fiona finally understood, she would remember the promise they had made as children and look at him differently.

Instead, she had walked away.

A tear slipped from Loid’s eye as he slowly lowered himself back against the pillow. He didn’t call her name again, because whatever else he wanted to say could no longer cross the closed door between them.

Outside, Fiona remained pressed against that very same door, silently crying with one hand over her mouth.

Neither of them knew the other was doing the same.

To Be Continued...