I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

According to gramps, Chinese martial arts were only composed of two aspects, ‘Fa Jin’ and ‘Hua Jin’, where the former is for offense and the latter for defense. Yin Yang Sanshou shouldn’t even be taught to outsiders in the first place, so I’m already lucky enough he is teaching me ‘Hua Jin’.

But humans are greedy and are never satisfied. I don’t learn martial arts to only defend and excel at getting beaten, I still want to win in fights.

So when I saw gramps supporting himself on the bench in a weird posture, I thought of secretly learning his techniques.

But his posture was too strange.

The gramps had both his hands on the bench with his head lowered. His shoulders were tight and his back was exactly parallel to the ground. He was completely motionless and he had sweat dripping down his bright red face.

Does this skill take that much effort? It seems gramps can barely handle it.

I waited for the gramps to change a position, but he stayed completely still even after ten minutes.

I suddenly came to a realization.

Ye Lin… don’t waste gramps’ efforts. He’s purposely trying to pass off Fa Jin to you so you can learn it.

Normally around this time, I would already be practicing with gramps. Even though I was hiding in the shrubbery around twenty feet away, gramps should already know I had arrived.

He doesn’t want to go against the wishes of his ancestors, but he also wants to be able to pass on Yin Yang Sanshou. That’s why he’s purposely showing me so I can learn on my own.

What a noble act.

Don’t worry gramps, I understand. I’ll open my eyes wide and ingrain the posture of Fa Jin in my mind.

But, this posture seems a bit graceless.

It kind of seems like where someone lifts their ass when they want to fart. Does it really help with hurting your enemies?

Whatever, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I should take the chance to learn.

So, I grabbed a tree trunk and also lifted my ass up.

Um… it’s a bit embarrassing. Hopefully, no one sees me.

I tried to exert a bit of strength on the tree trunk while maintaining the position, but it felt awkward and I couldn’t even use thirty percent of my power.

… I understand. It’s not a posture used for fighting, but for training. It’s kind of like how Master Roshi makes his disciples wear turtle shells. If you train under unfavorable conditions, you’ll be able to get a hundred times stronger when you actually fight!

I struck the trunk of the tree again in excitement. But no matter how hard I tried, I could never turn my face purple like gramps with sweat pouring down my face.

I clenched my teeth to try and change the color of my face, but I didn’t even need a mirror to know it was fruitless.

I was lifting my butt while looking constipated, the level of embarrassment increased once again.

No, I can’t be rushed. Gramps only got to where he is today through years of hard work. I have to persevere every day to reach gramps’ height in this amazing martial arts.

Once I reach that point, I’ll be able to topple this tree with a single strike.

Haha, the time when I’ll be invincible is just around the corner! I will follow the level up route of “Boxer → Giant Boxer → Super Boxer → Saint Boxer → God Boxer”!

Perhaps I was too excited and gramps saw the tree shake.

I think he saw it, but his eyes were really focused. It was as if an inner force insider his body was making disturbing him such that he wouldn’t recognize me even if he was looking towards my direction.

How considerate, he’s pretending to not notice me.

I felt my talent was lacking as I watched gramps use a lot of energy on his amazing martial arts. I might not even understand the trick even if I watched longer, so I walked near him to tell him to rest.

When gramps saw me walk out slowly from behind a tree with admiration on my face, his face became even more purplish, his eyes bulged, and he cursed at me:

“Fuck, Xiao Ye Zi, if you were already here, why didn’t you help me when you saw I pulled my back!”

Ha… pulled his back… isn’t it supposed to be a martial arts move… wasn’t your face turning red because of your neigong… I imitated him for nothing…

I helped gramps change a posture so he could lie down on the bench. He was finally able to take a breath of relief, his face was no longer purple and he was no longer sweating, then he snorted:

“My body can’t take it anymore. Looks like I could bite the dust anytime.”

I respected gramps a lot, so in order to not look down at him, I kneeled down beside him and laughed:

“Don’t worry, you only pulled your back. Based on your physique, you’ll be able to dominate Jianghu for a while.”

Gramps spat on the ground.

“Jianghu? Where? The old generation is gone, and the new generation won’t do their duties. Martial arts are all going to become extinct sooner or later.”

I wanted to say “You should make an exception and pass on Yin Yang Sanshou to me so it wouldn’t be lost.”, but it wasn’t the right time or place so I held it in.

Gramps pressed on his back and sighed:

“I’m 81 this year. I married late and gave birth to a son when I was 24…”

Well, 24 is considered late for back then, but currently, it’s not even old enough to level up to a wizard.

“Once I had a son, I headed out to travel across the country and learn with martial art masters…”

It was probably fighting instead of learning, otherwise, why would you only leave after you had a son.

“There are a lot of cunning and sly people who use tricks on the Jianghu and there aren’t many actual masters. But I learned a lot from those few masters, those twenty years were well worth it.”

Twenty years, did you not go home for twenty years? What about your wife? Wow, woman back then really abided by their roles. If it was now, your wife probably would have had a lover after you left for two months.

“We didn’t have good communication back then, so a lot of the folks back home thought I was dead. Everyone was really happy when I came back and our village celebrated for three days, it was great…”

It looks as if gramps was submerged in his memories.

“Then, my wife gave me a daughter. But she wasn’t able to have a good life and passed away from sickness soon after giving birth…”

“A lot of the masters I met when I traveled around the world were as crazy for martial arts as I was, but many were not able to make it to the end. There were some who fell at the hands of petty men; there were some who went mad with power and got struck by lightning; there were some who were tricked by bad men and were eventually executed by the law; there were some who protected the people during the Cultural Revolution and were shot to death; but it was the one who was the weakest, the one who everyone ignored, who changed his name and became an abbot at a monastery, who is trading stocks every day and living a good life…”

Gramps sighed:

“Sigh, I have more friends and family in the netherworld than the world of the living. Perhaps they might be beckoning for me soon.”

This scene is too sad and doesn’t really fit you. Weren’t you just happily scamming the dude a couple of days ago?

Thus I ignored my legs becoming numb and continued to speak to gramps while kneeling:

“Master…”

“Don’t call me master.” gramps got angry, “I already said you’re not my disciple.”

“Fine, fine.” I said, “Gramps, your martial arts skills are unrivaled, what’s the big deal with pulling your back once in a while? We youngsters sometimes even pull our backs when playing basketball. You’ll be better after two days of rest.”

“How about this. I’ll still come to the lake to run for the following two days, but I won’t practice with you anymore, you should stay home and rest… it’s actually more tiring practicing with you than running, so I could also take two days of rest…”

Gramps said in a fit of anger: “Bastard, martial artists can’t be lazy. I could rest, but you can’t.”

Then he stuck his hand into his bosom and pulled out an egg.

I accepted it and thanked gramps in a hurry.

“Gramps, you’re too kind, you even bought an egg for me as breakfast…”

“You idiot.” Gramps hit me on my head, “It’s raw.”

“Huh?” I had a dumb look on my face, “How would I eat it raw?”

“It’s not for eating, it’s for practice.” gramps snorted lividly, “I already felt my back was feeling a bit off when I left the house this morning, so I took the egg with me… listen closely, I have to rest for a few days, but in these few days, you have to keep it on you whether you’re going to school or taking a shit, and you can’t break it.”

“Do I put it in my pocket?”

“It can be anywhere, but you can keep it in your pocket. After my back is healed, you better return the egg to me intact.”

“Um… how would carrying an egg with me help with Yin Yang Sanshou?”

Gramps glared at me to ‘shut up’ and I stopped talking.

“Let me tell you, it’s said that practicing martial arts is not about a person training martial arts, but martial arts training the person. If you want to train your body to do as you like, then you must develop the habit of moving your body purely out of muscle memory, without thinking too much. In short, the egg is good for you, treat it with care, but if you break it … ”

My face filled with fear.

“Huh, are you saying I can’t practice Yin Yang Sanshou if I break the egg?”

Gramps glared at me, “If you break the egg, then… you’ll have to buy me a new one. Right now, eggs cost nine dollars and forty per kilo.”