I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

The class leader began to write the poem on the blackboard “Da Dao Zhi Xing Ye, Tian Xia Wei Gong, Xuan Xian Yu Neng, Jiang Xin Xiu Mu…” (TN: Not going to translate the poem, too much work :s)

I was assigned to write sentences from the poem ‘Ai Lian Shuo’. I was surprised I was able to remember and write down multiple lines from the poem.

Right when I was being complacent, I forgot the line after “Ju Zhi Ai”.

After old man Zhang gave us our tasks, he went to the back of the classroom and was explaining something to Little Smart, so his attention was not focused on us.

I took this opportunity to ask the class leader who was writing seriously on the blackboard:

“Hey, what comes after Ju Zhi Ai?”

The class leader cast me a glance and ignored me. Looks like she was not willing to help me cheat.

Hmph, cheap! If you won’t help, you think I won’t find someone else?

I immediately saw Gong CaiCai, who was sitting closest to the lectern.

When Gong CaiCai realized I was staring at her, she was scared to the point where her teeth clattered. She lowered her head as if I would not see her because she cannot see me.

But I would not let her off that easily.

“Hey, education committee member, what comes after ‘Ju Zhi Ai’?”

As the education committee member, you should definitely not help students cheat, but Gong CaiCai was too afraid of me, so she could only reply while shivering:

“Ju, Ju Zhi Ai, Tao Hou Xian You Wen…”

“Which Tao? The Tao from Taobao?”

“Yes, the Tao from Taobao… Wait, no, the Tao from Tao YuanMing!” Gong CaiCai clearly had incoherent speech.

“Don’t tell him!” The class leader interrupted Gong CaiCai, “If you know it, then you know it, if you don’t then you don’t. Why do you have to cheat!”

Gong CaiCai immediately turned silent and hid back behind her textbook like a frightened rabbit.

I was angry at the class leader for interrupting.

I was stuck for quite a while, even if you won’t help me out, you won’t even let someone else help me?

Thus I wrote ‘Shu Sha can view from afar but not partake’ after the sentence ‘Ju Zhi Ai’ as a prank. (TN: Ju Zhi Ai can mean love chrysanthemum (the flower) or love chrysanthemum (the butthole) ha)

The students in the class could not hold back and chuckled.

The class leader took notice of the random scribbles I wrote on the board and her face flushed between red and white. However, she straightened her back and did not make any compromises.

“You would reap what you sow once teacher Zhang turns around.”

Huh? You’re so courageous! Even though I embarrassed you by writing your name, you can still act so calm! It seems like I need to write something even more embarrassing!

So I picked up the blackboard eraser and cleaned my half of the board.

Then I wrote a fill in the blanks question:

( ), will you be my girlfriend?

I originally wanted to write: “( ), give me a child!”, but it might be going too far for someone as serious as the class leader. She would treat me like a hoodlum if I’m too blunt, it would be far more effective if I give off a pure and inexperienced feel.

My classmates did not know what I wrote since I used my body to block the key words. The class leader was the only one who saw the words.

It was as if she was doused by a bucket of red paint. Her entire face was red like a steamed crab.

I sent side glances at her while being calm and composed. I snickered as I held the chalk in mid-air as I prepared to fill in the blanks with a name.

I still remember the past incident when the class leader threw a ruler at me. It made her want to quit her position, and it cannot happen again.

Besides, if she rushes over here to try and erase my side of the board, the class will immediately see what I wrote once I move out of the way.

That’s why she pinched the hems of her skirt and was unsure of what to do.

I pretended I had a lot of difficulty thinking and muttered to myself:

“Ah, how difficult, we have so many girls in our class, whose name should I write?”

I said as I stiffly turned and looked at the class leader as if I only just realized she was standing next to me.

“I’ve decided! I’ll just write her!”

I wrote in one stroke, which was the first stroke for the first character in Shu Sha. I also shifted my body like I was prepared to move my body out of the way so all my classmates can see my passionate confession.

Xiao Qin would see too? That’s perfect, otherwise, I would never actually initiate my womanizer plan like North Korean soldiers who always talks about destroying America but never does anything.

After I saw the class leader still hesitating, I already finished writing half of the first character of her name. Right when I was about to continue to write, the class leader could not back anymore and said with shame:

“The correct sentence is ‘Lian Zhi Ai, Tong Yu Zhe He Ren’ —— hurry up and erase that!”

Hmph, that sounds better. I obtained another point in the battle of Metal-Blooded Lone Wolf vs Justice Devil.

I realized something after battling against Xiao Qin in these past days. If you act shamelessly, then if your opponent has more shame, they would often lose to you.

I thought the class leader would scold me after class, but she did not speak to me the entire morning. Instead, I received a text from her after lunch:

—— Don’t make those kinds of jokes anymore!

I am sorry, that will not do, your embarrassed face is really worth seeing! To me, it’s even more worth seeing that the nine great wonders of the world like the great wall or the pyramids! Why would I give up the opportunity to view such a enjoyable scene?

In the afternoon, I managed the store on my cellphone. When I saw the slow-moving products, I felt it was time to put the class leader’s brother to use.

When I found Shu Zhe near the flower garden, he was on the phone, and I scared him by appearing behind him.

Shu Zhe rapidly hid his phone behind his back and asked embarrassed:

“Brother Ye Lin, do you have a lot of free time?”

Is this brat communicating with the dog kidnapping group again? But his evil actions will stop today, I will definitely bestow punishment against him!

I ordered without allowing room for discussion: “Come to my house after school today! Tell your sister you’re going to a friend’s birthday party, understand?”

Shu Zhe had a difficult complexion: “I already used the birthday excuse three times this month…”

I gave him a glare: “You can lie for your girlfriend, but you won’t lie for your bro? Next time if you get bullied….”

Shu Zhe nodded in a hurry, “Bro Ye Lin, I was wrong! I’ll tell my sister! But, why do I have to go to your home?”

“Hmph, first of all, have you been in contact with those crooks again?”

“No, no way!” Shu Zhe kicked a pebble under his feet with unease and had a guilty expression, “I was only looking around for places to get amusement park tickets for half price! Since I don’t have other sources of income, I have to spend my allowance frugally!”

Who knows if he was telling the truth or not? But it was true his girlfriend spends a lot of money. If that’s the case, I will provide a legal and easy way to earn money! I am so kindhearted!

Thus I displayed a friendly face to Shu Zhe: “Do you feel like you don’t have enough money? I’ll give you some work tonight, I’ll give you pay along with a meal, how about it?”

Shu Zhe slanted his lips, “I’m not moving! Bro Ye Lin, go find someone else!”

Huh? How lazy! Such a young person without any congenital heart problems, but you don’t want to do any physical work?

But since he guessed I needed someone to move boxes, it is the same as what other students guess. If they heard our family has an online store, but they don’t really know what we sell.

I suddenly felt like I was tricking a child to eat some candy at my home.

“Hmph, which idiot would ask you to help them move? I only wanted your help to take some product photos, I wanted you to be my ‘hand model’!”

There’s not much difference between a rope model or a hand model. Wouldn’t you be a rope model if you tie your hand with some rope? I will just leave him confused for now.

Shu Zhe blinked his ignorant eyes, “Hand model? What’s a hand model?”

I stuck out my left arm and showed him the watch on my wrist.

“Do you see that? We actually sell watches! The store name is quite fashionable, it’s called… ‘I bought a watch last year’! Watches only look good when someone is wearing it. But my wrists are too thick to wear some child and female watches, and it looks bad cause my skin is too dark, so that’s why…”

This incited Shu Zhe’s interest, “Bro Ye Lin, so you’re saying you’ll pay me as long as I wear some watches and let you take some photos?”

“That’s right!” I said with excitement, “You don’t get such a good opportunity everyday! If you don’t want to do it, I’ll ask my childhood friend Xiao Qin!”

Shu Zhe panicked once he heard a good opportunity was about to fall into the hands of another person:

“Damn! Why would I not agree! Don’t hand models only need to take photos of their hand? I could be sitting when I take the photos, right?”

Huh? You are so finicky! Don’t worry, your legs might not even hit the ground, since I will be hanging you from the ceiling!

Shu Zhe also haggled for dinner and his final salary. He happily agreed to follow me after school when I agreed to order Pizza Hut and pay him 200 dollars for every 10 photos.

Hmph, you might feel like you are getting a good deal. 200 dollars might be a high price for a hand model, but it is nothing for a rope model! Once I lock the front door, it will be too late! No one will save you even if you scream your heart out!

Of course, I won’t let you make your voice hoarse because I don’t want the class leader to find out. I’ll use socks to stuff your mouth!