I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

When I was eating dinner, my dad asked me about the matter with Xiao Qin.

Ever since he was slapped by Auntie Ren, half his face was swollen like a balloon, and he could only eat porridge for every meal. Just a few days ago, he was savoring Auntie Ren’s steamed sea cucumber bamboo chicken, retribution sure comes fast.

I reiterated multiple times that nothing happened between me and Xiao Qin, but he did not believe me.

He pointed to the school uniform hanging on our balcony.

“There’s no way that small uniform is yours, right?”

“It shrunk after being washed.” I said a blatant lie with a straight face.

“Stop trying to deceive me! Do you think I’m still drunk?” My dad said angrily, “Do you think I don’t know that there’s a difference between male and female uniforms for your school! There’s a red stripe on the sleeve of this uniform! It’s clearly a girl’s uniform! Why is it at our house!”

“Well, I wasn’t the one who took it off.” I picked up some stir-fried onions and stuffed it in my mouth while talking back to my father.

“It’s not okay even if she took it off herself!”

My old man stared at me with his swollen face that I could not take seriously, he wanted to have a serious conversations between us.

“No matter what, return their clothes after it dries. They have to have their uniform, right?”

I nodded, “Actually, it’s summer right now, so the spring uniform isn’t worn often anymore.”

“Also, that pair of running shoes also belongs to them, right? Hurry and return it!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll return it. You just focus on eating porridge, you won’t be full if you don’t eat more…

“Umm… Xiao Lin, you have to return that girl’s underwear too…”

Underwear? Where is there underwear! Did Xiao Qin not take her underwear with her?

“That day, after you went to school, I found a bra and a pair of underwear in the washroom… Since it was damp, I wasn’t sure if it had been washed yer, so I threw it into the washing machine and gave it another wash…”

That’s definitely Xiao Qin’s! Why did you wash it! It was completely unnecessary!

“Eh? I was wrong?” My dad knitted his brows while holding a bowl of rice, “Maybe, I shouldn’t have washed it? You have a use for unwashed underwear? You should have told me earlier!”

What would I use it for? You’re so considerate, next time, would you leave an original pair of underwear for me? I already told you to stop reading so much H manga! If you keep it up, your studies… Oh wait, you already graduated, I meant your job… Oh wait, your job is selling H manga… In short, if this keeps up, how would you live a rich and fulfilling life!

“Oh… I heard girls nowadays are obsessed with cleanliness, they probably don’t want anything an uncle like me touched. That’s why I used a pair of chopsticks to put the underwear in the washing machine! I’m pretty attentive, eh?”

Hmph, I don’t care if you touch it directly with your hands, it’s only a triangular piece of fabric. Why do you have to treat it like it has divine power?

“But, I forgot where I placed the chopsticks after I used it. Maybe, the pair in your hands right now…”

Fuck, I almost spat out everything! I was wondering why there was the taste of rainwater on these chopsticks! I can’t believe you still considered yourself to be attentive! It’s pretty normal to rub one out with a girl’s underwear, but I’m eating with underwear!

My dad was embarrassed after being stared at by me.

“Basically I washed it and dried it, you should find a good time to return it… By the way, don’t tell her I was the one who washed it, just say you were the one who washed it.”

I was able to finish my dinner with some reluctance after switching a pair of chopsticks, but I felt there was still a weird taste left in my mouth.

I decided to go out for a run at night. Lately, I have only been running one lap around DongShan Lake and I felt it was not enough.

The weather has been pretty abnormal recently, it changes quite frequently. The days are still hot while the nights are windy. I thought it would be best if I wore a pair of long pants.

Then my dad told me that he washed all my pants when he had nothing to do at home.

Dad, are you doing this for revenge! Did you feel bad because Auntie Ren hit you cause of me, so you want to strike back?

“Why don’t you wear the QingZi Academy uniform?” My dad reminded me.

“You looked pretty cool the last time you wore it.”

That’s right, I have not worn that coffee-brown western style uniform in a long time.

Compared to the uniform of 28 Middle, this uniform had better materials, and it was also tailored to fit. Even though the uniform does not add any charm to someone like Xing Xing, it gives off a good martial aura when someone with muscles like me wears it.

Also, this uniform had a longer top, the advantage to that design is: My legs seem longer after I wear it, it’s an amazing property of the uniform!

Thus before I left, I looked at myself in the mirror on the door of the washroom for the first time.

No wonder people say clothes make a man. I felt like my threatening aura decreased significantly after wearing this uniform. If my gaze can become a bit gentler, people might believe it if I said I was a good person.

I left the house empty-handed after I determined my dad was not going to go out tonight.

After running for 200m aimlessly, I decided to visit QingZi Academy since I was wearing the uniform anyway. I was going to check on Ai Mi, and I also had to speak with Peng TouSi.

When I arrived in front of the VIP building in QingZi Academy, I met Peng TouSi leisurely watering the flowers.

Eh? A retired killer, a current bodyguard, is also now a gardener?! Did you know you almost got me killed? Yet you are still watering flowers in a carefree manner? Can you face my soul that was already killed by Auntie Ren in a parallel universe?

Peng TouSi pointed towards the flowerbed and said: “These sunflowers will take another seven or eight months to bloom. Don’t forget to come by at that time!”

You could have grown anything, and you chose sunflowers! Are you unsatisfied with the radius of a chrysanthemum so you grew the extra large sunflowers? I really hope a group of zombies come and eat those plants that Peng TouSi is taking care of!

“If you’re looking for Miss Ai Mi, she’s not able to receive guests right now because she’s getting a massage.” Peng TouSi said as he glanced at the watch on his wrist, “If you wait half an hour…”

“No, I was just passing by. I’ll take my leave now if she’s not available.” I said in embarrassment, “Don’t tell Ai Mi I came!”

I was about to leave but I saw 004 and 005 exit the VIP building. They were having a heated discussion, of course, it was in English.

“What?” I laughed, “Are they discussing how to defend against Xiao Qin’s ball buster attack? It’s a move that has a long history…”

Peng TouSi shook his head, “It’s true they are afraid of the kick, but they are currently discussing the listening device…”

The black death god then lowered his voice.

“We actually planted a micro-listening device in Miss Ai Mi’s rain boots and some other places. It was how 004 and 005 were able to listen to the situation inside your house from the outside. But for some reason, there was some interference with the signal…”

“Interference? Are you using a cheap listening device?” I thought what I said was preposterous after it left my mouth.

“While I’m not an expert in electronics, it seems there’s another listening device that was operating on the same frequency. That’s what caused the interference —— are you also being monitored?”

Eh? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!??? Why is there another listening device in our house? My dad and I are nobodies, why do we need to be monitored with advanced listening devices? Is it the husband of the woman who almost shot the ‘Plain Chinese’ AV series with my dad? No way! If that was the case, her husband is way too effective! If he’s that good, he doesn’t even need to plant listening devices, he could just catch them in the act!

If it wasn’t for monitoring to my dad, is it for monitoring me? But, is there anyone with motives to monitor me?

Wait! If I think carefully, there is someone with a motive.

It’s Xiao Qin! She probably wants to hear the sound of me sleeping every night!

If it was Xiao Qin who installed the listening device, when and where did she install it?

—— Do I even need to ask? She only came to my house once, it was when she used the large thermos to deliver the bamboo chicken!

I still haven’t had the chance to return the thermos, it’s still sitting at home in the kitchen!

Was the listening device hidden in the thermos? Did she deliver food to me because she wanted to listen to my every move?

The time when Ai Mi slept at my house was purely accidental, there were no prior indications or planning. But, Xiao Qin said she felt it with telepathy, and she actually crawled outside our room in the pouring rain to look inside. She basically already knew that Ai Mi was already at my house.

If I put all the clues together, Xiao Qin definitely planted a listening device in my house!

What was that line they always say in Conan or Kindaichi? Right, there is only one truth! I swear on my grandfather’s name: the listening device is in that outrageously large thermos! Also, I heard that long-distance listening devices use a lot of power. If she uses the thermos as a medium, she can use delivering food as an excuse to take back the thermos and charge the battery!

Xiao Qin, you went too far! I can’t believe you would use these unscrupulous means to monitor my everyday life!

What should I do? Should I expose her plan in front of her? Should I make her kneel down and vow to never do it again?

No, I might not get good results. I should beat her at her own game. I will intentionally say hurtful lines to the listening device, such as saying “Xiao Qin is only a backup girlfriend, I’ll dump her after I’m done playing with her” or such lines to my dad. This way her attraction towards me would drop drastically.

After I made this plan, my body was filled with energy, and I felt like I was the master of the universe.

At this time, I heard a dog bark. Obama came out from the bushes and started rubbing against my feet intimately and shamelessly begged for food.

This husky was pretty dumb, but fortunately, it had a docile personality. It would not hurt anyone even if it was not put on a leash. I have not played with a dog in a while and my heart felt a bit itchy.

Hence, I asked Peng TouSi if I could take Obama on a stroll.

Peng TouSi thought about it carefully, then he nodded in agreement. Then, he gave me a thick leash for the dog.

“This dog is good at finding the way, Miss Ai Mi used him many times to get home, so don’t worry even if you guys get separated, he should still be able to find his way back —— Just make sure he doesn’t bite any kids. He doesn’t like to be petted, as far as I know, he only lets you and Miss Ai Mi pet him.”

Obama obediently let me attach the leash onto his collar. He wagged his tail happily as if he knew someone was going to take him on a walk.

“I’ll take at most an hour, then I’ll bring him back!”

I waved goodbye to Peng TouSi before leading Obama out of the school gates. Since we came out of the VIP building, the security did not really bother us. A lot of nearby students looked at me as if I was a deity.

Obama and I went for a run on roads that had fewer cars.

Obama had incredible stamina. He probably would not get tired even if I did. Thus, I reduced my pace to a walk and Obama followed behind with a blank expression.

We inadvertently walked to a small plaza paved with colorful bricks. There was a lot of exercise equipment on the sides of the plaza, there were a lot of seniors using it, and some were using it with their grandchildren.

This plaza was near the Love Pet Hospital. I came here a few times before with Xiao Ding, but since it was full of women and children, we called this place the ‘women and children square’.

I was not the only one walking a dog under the streetlights.

White Samoyeds, brown weiner dogs, golden pomeranians, and grey pekingese. Each was happier than the next, they were walking around with their owners and you can hear the non-stop barks and laughter.

But not all of the dogs were willing to get close to that person who was under the streetlight. All the dogs kept at least ten meters away from the streetlight. It was like there was a territory forbidden to dogs with a ten meter radius with the streetlight as the center point. It was as if that person was a doggy terminator, they would shoot any dog that steps into that territory.

The class leader stood with her back to the streetlight pole. She looked extremely lonely and sad even though she was surrounded by joyous pets. As an outsider, she could only watch from a distance, with no hopes of getting any closer.

Her expression was as if she was abandoned by the world, each strand of her hair expressed her loneliness, and she did not even notice when I came to the plaza.