Chapter One-Hundred And Five: Day Five: A Stranger With My Brother’s Hands

Christina's Arc: Bend or Break

This is crazy. I went from a rebellious young woman whose parents died to a Court enforcer turned Blood Blossom. But now, I'm sitting in the passenger seat next to my mentor's deceased mother, who is driving us to school, except she's not dead yet. If past Yuuka could see me now.

"Why do you keep looking at me with sad eyes? Are you alright, hani?" Christina said to Antwon.

I hate that pet name.

Oh, and my dead brother, whom I've wished back three times, is sitting in the back seat of the car with my future boss. But I'm not sure if he's actually my brother because the genie who granted my wish used different souls to fill his body.

"Don't shake your head no. Speak to me," Christina cooed.

I knew she was going to die during Trish Tetsusen's next war against the Ash because the future Ayame Tetsuzaki told me Yua died saving her. Ayame got caught alone and lost her right arm in the process. The one-armed witch is what we called her during training, but she lost more than her arm that day.

"Can I touch you, hani? I'll be gentle."

I sighed and pressed my head against the headrest of my seat. Yua smiled and focused on the road.

"Go ahead, Christina. But can I ask you a question?"

"Do you feel—trapped at all?"

What a stupid question. Why would Christina Tetsusen feel trapped when she has control over everyone in her territory?

"Forgive me for not understanding your question, but I'm inclined to say no."

I looked out the window at the students walking to school in their light blue uniforms.

I wonder if Tanaka was still walking to school? I never thanked him for making me feel better during Antwon's absence. I guess I can tell his sister during baseball practice.

"I don't know—I just thought maybe you wanted to be something else, but you didn't have a choice, or something. Nevermind. It's a stupid question."

Idiot. Hopeful, but an idiot nonetheless.

"Antwon, since day one, I knew I would rule the Iron Fan Court, so I didn't fantasize about being a doctor, or something, and it's not a stupid question."

Yup. She was born with a blade.

"Well, if you could be something other than a…queen, what would you be?"

I looked over at Yua, who had the dumbest lovesick grin I'd ever seen, and it made me smile, too.

"If I could be anything, I'd be with you, Antwon Carter."

Wow! I didn't see that coming. It was sweet.

"Whoa. That was…disgustingly cute, Christina."

Figures. The most powerful future queen in Kokiri opens up to him, and he just waves it away like a fly too close to his food.

"Why the hell is that disgusting?" Christina's voice cut through the air.

It was such a nice car ride, too. But there was no off switch to my brother's stupidity. At least we were close to the school.

"Hey, Carter. Do you want to know why Tetsuzaki was pushing so hard?" Yua asked. Her lovesick smile was gone, replaced by…irritation. I turned in my seat to see why she felt it necessary to ask that question, and Christina was putting holes through Antwon with her stare. I guess she didn't like how he brushed off her moment of weakness.

"I-I would like to know, Ms. Kurogane," I said, hoping my curiosity would be enough to redirect their focus.

"I don't care about that pen-cutting asshole," Antwon said, crossing his arms.

"It was just a fucking pen. I'll buy you all the fucking pens you want," Christina said, crossing her arms, too.

Why were they so much alike? I didn't spend a lot of time with future Antwon until our parents died, but I don't remember him having a shitty temper.

I looked back at Yua, who seemed exhausted, as she hunched over the steering wheel. But her response seemed natural, so how often did this happen?

"Well, Tetsuzaki wants you to…fertilize Her Grace's garden, so she can do the same."

My jaw dropped, but not because of the implication, but because Tetsuzaki didn't take a husband in my future. She was the longest-running joke in the Iron Fan Court because of her inability to court a man. But I had to make sure.

"What do—"

"So, that reject is making Jun wait for something that isn't happening? Now, I feel bad for setting Jun and Ayame up," Antwon said, making the ugliest frown ever.

"The fuck you mean never? I'm counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds, Antwon. So, don't get ahead of yourself."

"So, we're back on this shit again, Christina. What, do you have your ownership papers on you to prove your point, or am I allowed to be human?"

Tetsuzaki claimed a boy.

Tetsuzaki claimed a boy, and my idiot helped?

Tetsuzaki is going to have a kid, but that never happened.

I've got to tell Jenie!

"Oh, hani. You're more than a piece of property, and this morning proves it."

"Are we there yet?" Antwon groaned, sinking back into his car seat.

Yua pulled into the student parking lot and sighed. "We're here."

"Did you hear me, Your Grace?" Yua asked, still hunched over the steering wheel.

"Yes, I did, Kurogane. I think it's cute that Tetsuzaki is making Jun wait for us, and I would love to be her maternal sister and raise our daughters together. Call Tetsuzaki while I'm in school, and tell her that I said it would be an honor."

Shit. I almost want him to do something with Christina to lock this change in, but does that make me a bad sister for wanting a girl to contaminate him?

Yua sprang up and started clapping her hands. It scared me half to death, causing me to jump in my seat.

"Oh! She's going to freak out so hard. If you think she kisses your ass now, just wait until—"

"Pft, it's my ass she should be kissing," Antwon said, getting out of the car.

But Christina pulled him back by the waist just enough, then bit him on the butt. Antwon yelped, then got out and slammed the door. He pressed one hand against the injury.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Antwon screamed through the closed window, and he was pissed because I could see the veins in his forehead. "You can't bite people; Yua, muzzle her or something."

"That's my ass, and no one gets to put hands or lips on it besides me," Christina declared. "You want to muzzle me, do it yourself."

Tetsuzaki's going to be a mommy now.

"Remember, Yua, we have clubs after school, so you'll have to find something to entertain yourself with."

I opened the door, carrying more weight than I could have ever imagined.

***

I used an excuse to cut my third-period class short. But when I actually get my period, I'm screwed because my teacher is going to mark that shit on her calendar. Besides, I didn't need Kokiri History 101; I knew how the next few years would go. Jenie and Antwon were always the first at lunch, so I'd catch them in the hallway, split them up, and talk to Jenie before everyone sat…down.

"Jenie, where's Antwon?"

She approached me slowly. Her unchanged orange hair and deadpan expression had given me reassurance for some reason. Maybe because I knew that she could answer my questions about the future or provide insight.

"Jenie, I have a question. May we?" I asked, extending my hand so she could read my mind.

Without words, she took my hand, and we stood silently in the empty hallway for about fifteen seconds. I was fortunate that no one saw us.

Jenie let go of my hand, and we walked toward the cafeteria.

"Interesting. I am genuinely vexed as to how an unsanctioned life will affect the threads of fate that govern this world. However, Ayame Tetsuzaki has not manifested life within her being. Therefore, her fate continues to bend as it once had," Jenie said.

"Right, but if she does—you know, and she—you know—becomes a mother, will that change her fate?"

…

"Sakura, why do you refrain from identifying common household practices, as if they violate cultural norms? By addressing sex as the act of cultivating human existence, I could have produced a coherent answer with efficiency."

We waited by the cafeteria's red doors.

"I-I don't know. I guess I'm afraid to slip up around Antwon. Ya know, I don't want him to hear me saying it, because he'll think it's okay."

"Then be mindful of what you've already deduced: encouraging Antwon to sire life with Christina Tetsusen may create impactful changes to Kokiri's fate since many lives adjust to her ebb and flow. You should encourage Antwon only if you are certain that erasing Christina's descendant will yield the desired results."

Just like that, I mentally played with Christine's existence. A girl whom Christina and I spoke about, and the positive changes Christine's personality would bring to the Iron Fan Court. The girl Christina wished she could be.

"Jenie, I know I've asked this before, but I need to know, right now. And don't do that thing where you don't give me a direct answer," I said. The weight of my question caused my shoulders to slump and my knees to wobble.

"Shit," I grumbled. "Is he my Antwon?"

"No, he's Christina's Antwon."

"That's not what I meant!"

A strange sound came from Jenie. I thought she was broken for a moment, and then the nerves in her face started to twitch like they were dying at the same time. Her mouth twitched super hard, flashing teeth and grunting. Then it came to me at the end of her episode. Jenie was trying to smile, and I wanted to scream for her to stop.

"Yeah…good one…Jenie."

"Thank you. Kai informed me that my lack of humor saddens him. I'm attempting to foster an agreeable method of communication for Kai."

I can't believe I'm going to think this, fuck you, Kai. You should be punished for making me see what I can't unsee.

"Sakura," Jenie said, and then she paused.

I started to worry that she was thinking of another joke.

"Sakura, I could provide you with a definitive response. However, I will give you time to decide if the future I witnessed when we interacted is worth the sacrifice."

"I know, but— Wait, I understood that," I said, bringing both hands to my mouth. "Jenie, you're doing such a good job, coming back down to earth… I'm sorry, that's my brother speaking."

She walked past me, moving toward the cafeteria doors.

"Jenie, wait," I said, following her in.

The cafeteria was mostly empty. The lunch shutters were still closed, and there was no food on display. Did they really get here this early? What did they do while they waited?

Jenie took her usual seat. It was close to the start of the lunch line and the door, but not so close that anyone else would choose it first. I made my way to Jenie and sat down.

"I wanted to ask—"

"Is death wrong, Sakura?"

For a moment, Jenie's stare became something I couldn't look at, so I stared at the table instead. Her question was in line with my question, but why did she have to ask now?

"I-it would depend on how they died, right?"

Jenie cupped her hands and brought them together as if she were holding water.

"Life and death are of the same cycle, Sakura. Think of it as a renewable energy source, fueled by the lives it creates and takes with fluctuating proportions," Jenie said, raising one hand above the other. "As life flourishes, a salient deficit rises—"

"A-and?" I asked, but Jenie's eyes looked beyond me. I turned around. Antwon walked into the cafeteria alone and unhappy.

The bell sounded, and he made his way to us. But he was slouching, so something bad happened. When he sat down, he placed his backpack gently on the table, but he practically crashed into the seat and made the table shake a bit.

This morning, he was my brother, but now it feels like I'm sitting next to a stranger.

He pulled out a strange notebook. It looked expensive. Maybe Christina bought it for him. I'd never seen Antwon write anything down since waking up fifteen again. I honestly thought I had dreamed it all.

Students poured into the cafeteria, and Antwon placed the notebook back into his backpack.

I don't remember anything past three, and I thought I had dreamed Antwon. Then one day, when I was eleven, there he was, and that's when I knew my dreams had to be real.

Antwon pulled out three bento boxes.

But he was my age and taller than me. He was my Antwon.

"Sakura, where is your bento, or are you joining the line, because it's getting longer?"

He was so sweet that I was afraid he'd melt in my hands. But that didn't last. The older he got, the more he wanted to go to dangerous places, and the more attention he attracted.

"Earth to Sakura," Antwon said. "Fine, stare off into space. You can have some of my lunch," he said, sliding closer to me.

"But I don't have any chopsticks," I said.

Antwon opened the bento box and split the chopsticks.

"Always underprepared. Don't worry, I got you, but we've got to be quick. People get weird, and I don't want a certain blond-haired monster to lose her shit."

I smiled and opened my mouth. Antwon started shoveling food into my mouth, and the experience tickled me.

"Hurry up and chew, Sakura, before Christina discovers our sibling secret."

I laughed and spit up some of the food.

"Oh, we wouldn't want that, would we?" I said, forgetting my worries for a split second.