Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen: When This Contract Ends

Christina's Arc: Bend or Break

"Okay, now speak before I truly lose my patience, hani. But before you do, tell me what you're going to give me that'll stop me from turning this car around and killing her right now," I asked Antwon, who refused to sit next to me because of my smell.

I flicked my sweat-drenched hair back and crossed my legs.

How dare he tell me that I don't take what he says into consideration? I'm in this ridiculous Crimson High PE getup because he nagged me about cleaning my uniform.

"Well—"

"That includes the orange-haired fool, too."

Antwon glanced at me.

…

"You better start talking, brat, before I pull this car over and beat the shit out of—"

"Tetsuzaki!"

"Sorry, Your Grace."

I yawned.

I never thought not killing people could be so exhausting. At least I can murder whoever I want in my dreams.

"Let's just ignore Jenie, okay? Kai is going to beat her down emotionally for saying dumb shit, but I promise you, Christina, it's nothing," Antwon said.

I nodded.

She is weird. I've always known that something is wrong with her. But I have my limits.

"I need you to say that you understand that Jenie doesn't want to have sex with me."

…

"Christina?"

How obstinate of that absurd girl to imply something I haven't even sanctioned. But to have heard her announce it to everyone in the fucking cafeteria! What was even more stymying was to have my fucking hani act so refractory to save her ass.

"Christina…"

Then he had the audacity to claim that I caused his panic attack, when I've done nothing but augment his fucking existence, accommodating his capricious desire to sleep in his premarital home against my better judgment.

"Christina, hello?"

Then some stupid fucking bitch holds his fucking hand, as if he wasn't already claimed, and he fucking allows it. What? Did he offer his neck? Did she learn his scent… did he learn hers? Did she promise him anything? It's nothing I can't match, tenfold. Maybe my touch isn't enough?

"Holy shit, Christina!"

"Yes, hani? What do you need?" I cooed.

"Um, you're turning red, and it's scaring me. Like, I've never been more scared of being in the same car with you," Antwon said with a shaky voice.

"Seriously, you are giving me Shizuka vibes."

Wow, that actually hurt. I'd never hurt him, or cause him any kind of significant pain if I didn't think it was necessary. But I'd never physically hurt him. The legal implications would be awful.

…

"You stupid piece of… Do you ever think before you open that dirty hole—"

"It's okay, Tetsuzaki. It's nice… finally understanding how you feel, Antwon."

"M-my queen, please don't let him—"

I groaned.

"Tetsuzaki, that's enough! I need you to focus on driving."

…

I stared at the floor between my legs and sighed.

I hate these stupid baseball sweatpants. I don't even like sports. I don't even like sleeping at someone else's house; I didn't mind the first time, but the novelty has worn off. I should just—

Antwon touched my shoulder and gently shook me.

"What is it, Antwon?"

"Christina, I just wanted to correct you on one important thing."

"What's that—"

He lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze.

"Christina, you'll never understand how I feel about anything. It isn't possible. If you got even a glimpse of the shit that goes on in my head, you'd lose your damn mind. I mean, your head would explode more than it does when you're about to kick someone's ass."

How arrogant.

"You told me that you l…"

"And I do, which is why your head would explode. But there is one feeling that I need you to understand right now: my gratitude for making Sakura walk home," he said, smiling.

Arrogant little asshole!

"I haven't told her to piss on it since we were twelve, and damn, if the look on her face wasn't perfect! Don't think I didn't notice that stupid grin on your face, Ayame—"

"It's Master Tetsuzaki!"

"—as Sakura ran up to me. You wanted an impact, but got as much air as Sakura."

Is he using me for his fucking amusement?

Antwon slid over to me, our knees touching.

"Your Grace, I-I don't like it when he speaks to me as though my station means nothing."

"Christina."

"What, what do you want now? Just go insult Tetsuzaki, or flirt with your friends! Clearly, you'd prefer protecting them from their own folly."

"Y-Your Grace," Tetsuzaki whimpered.

…

"I don't flirt with anyone, Christina, and I can't help it if they're fools."

The car hit a familiar bump in the road.

…

I sighed, sinking my back into my seat while staring at the floor.

I don't have the necessary strength or desire to defend Tetsuzaki's honor, or deal with his insults. The only silver lining to my present situation was the shower's availability… Fucking pathetic of me.

"I'll… let you kiss me whenever you want, but please understand that I need oxygen," Antwon said.

I gripped my sweatpants. I continued looking down.

I wanted to hear something like that, but… I don't know what to feel.

Antwon gently touched my hand, as if I were fragile, and brushed my rough knuckles against his cheek.

I want to touch you properly. I want so much for you, Antwon. But you won't let me be the woman I know I can become with you in my life. But when this contract ends, I'll show you.

"What are you doing, Antwon?" I grumbled.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you."

…

I am upset. I let the words of my consort… hurt me?

I sighed again.

"I'm tired. I'm probably going to turn in early. Do you need my phone to call your nerd friends? Antwon…"

When I looked at Antwon, he was asleep with my hand gently resting against his face.