Lost Bond

Shortly after our talk, the food arrives. Miguel ordered a steak and Sher Aka ordered a salad and a hamburg-steak with fries.

As they start eating, Sher Aak asks me, “So, how was living in the castle?”

“It was great! Everyone is super kind there!”

“Did you do a lot of fun things there?”

“Sometimes but I mostly just slept a lot while hugging mama.”

“You…Seem to have grown quite close to the Queen.”

“Gao!”

“If it’s too uncomfortable you don’t have to answer but…When you were going to imprint on me and your father took you away…What happened?”

“Ah…Well…Those aren’t good memories.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No…It’s okay. Back then…When I woke up. I was actually really happy because I felt a lot of love and I thought it was for you. But then…I-I opened my eyes and I saw…Him. At first I was really confused but then he explained to me how he was living this double life and that he deceived everyone. He told me he never loved or cared about me. He just saw my potential as an adventurer and wanted me to get a lot of fame for him.”

Sher Aka looks a bit confused as she asks, “He…Said that to you?”

“Yeah…Not even mama or manya knew about it. He also had that weird crazy laugh. I still remember how he slicked back his hair and just laughed in that weird way…”

“Right…What did the laugh sound like?”

“It was like ‘Muahahahaha’ or something like that.”

“I…See. It’s a bit over the top but I think I understand what he was going for…”

“Was he trying to intimidate me? Is that a common laugh for evil people?”

“I…Uhm…I’ll need to think about how to answer that. For now please continue.”

“Gao…When that happened I just felt so betrayed and scared so I tried to run away and jumped out of the window but that was a huge mistake…”

“Why was it a mistake?”

“Because it was so high that I nearly died from the fall. Even though I did the rolling technique that Uli taught me perfectly I still broke my arm and my foot. There was a bone sticking out and I was bleeding everywhere and a bunch of guards yelled at me…It was super scary! I…I really thought I was going to die.”

Giving me a hug Sher Aka interrupts, “There is no need to continue if it’s too painful.”

Leaning into her I take a few seconds to compose myself, “It’s alright…That was already the worst part. After that…When I was on the grass, bleeding, scared and shouted at, mama came flying down. She was really worried about me, got me to a doctor and then into her bedroom. At first, I didn’t really trust her that much but she was so kind to me…I…Sher Aka can you promise me that you won’t tell manya or ane about what I’m going to tell you?”

“Sure, I promise.”

“And you too Miguel, please don’t tell them either. I also don’t want auntie, uncle and Emillia to know. This has to stay between us, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Well…So, to be honest…I wasn’t feeling too great even before all that happened. But after that I…I really wanted to die. It really felt like…The only thing keeping me alive was you guys. It felt like I was just one bad thing away from eating poison and dying…Mama then convinced me that I should rest a bit and I thought it was just going to be a few days but then suddenly a month passed and then half a year and before I knew it I was there for almost two years.”

With a serious yet compassionate look on her face Sher Aka asks, “Please be honest. Do you still feel like you want to die?”

“No. I have so many wonderful people around me that I never want to die.”

Taking a deep breath Sher Aka sighs, “That’s relieving…Can you tell me a bit about your rest? It must have been great for you to find the joy in life again.”

“Yeah…At least I think it was.”

“Do you not know?”

“I’m not really sure. I remember moments, almost all of them were happy moments but I don’t remember most of my time there. If I really try to think about it I can remember more but it’s more that I feel a feeling when I think about it. A feeling of safety and warmth.”

Looking almost disappointed, Sher Aka avoids my eyes and says, “That’s wonderful…I’m glad that despite everything you had a good time.”

“Gao!”

“Can I ask you a question that’s a little selfish, Rose?”

“Sure!”

“Now that you have a mother, would you still want me as your mother?”

“Uhm…Do I have to decide between you and mama?”

“No you don’t. It’s also possible to have two mothers, especially since your father is not around to raise you.”

“Then sure!”

Sher Aka suddenly gets really serious and holds both my hands as she looks deep into my eyes and asks, “Are you really sure, Rose? Do you know what that would mean?”

“Gao! You’re a good person, I like you a lot and now that I know what a mother is like I think you are very similar. I’m sure you’d be a good mom!”

Hugging me really tightly, Sher Aka starts to cry as she says, “In that case I’ll make sure to take great care of you, my daughter.”

“Gao!”

We stay like this for a minute or so. I’m almost getting a little sleepy again when Sher Aka lets go of her hug, wipes her tears away with a smile and says, “Now how about you go eat something too? Your fish is going to get cold.”

“Oh! Right, I forgot I eat by myself now, kikikiki.”

“Hmm~ What do you mean?”

“Well, usually mama feeds me so I forgot I have to eat by myself now.”

In a sing-songy voice she answers, “Is that so~ Then let me go and feed you.”

“Gao!”

As Sher Aka cuts up the food for me I ask, “By the way should I call you mama now?”

She chuckles and answers, “Call me mima. It’s how we say mommy in Elvish.”

“Gao! Thank you mima!

“You’re welcome, Rose~”