Chapter 496 - 249: Tit for Tat

Chapter 496: Chapter 249: Tit for Tat

"’Nothing ventured, nothing gained,’" Zheng Xiu repeated, then asked curiously, "It’s a metaphor. What’s wrong, didn’t you understand?"

"I understood." Situ Yong’s lips twitched as he nodded. Just as he was about to stop him, Zheng Xiu pointed at the bodice with a look of disgust. "Wrap it up for me."

Situ Yong caught a whiff of its faint fragrance from a distance, and his heart skipped a beat. After he wrapped up the still-warm bodice, Zheng Xiu held the bag with one hand and instructed the Orange Cat, "I’ll be right back. You’re the Pillar Cat. Keep a close watch for me. If anything happens, don’t hesitate to use your claws."

"MEOW!"

[Hmph!]

The Orange Cat crossed its front paws over its chest and looked away, the very picture of indignation.

"When we get back, I’ll have Feng Bei cook again. All the fried fish cakes you can eat!"

"MEOW MEOW?"

[Really?]

"A word from the Red King cannot be taken back, not even by a team of four horses!"

The Orange Cat extended eight of its claws and stared intently at the youth.

"MEOW MEOW!"

[Eight horses!]

The Orange Cat was haggling with Zheng Xiu over the strangest things.

"Deal!"

Zheng Xiu readily agreed, walked out of the private room, and went straight upstairs. Peering down through the carved wooden balustrade, he saw that the night’s song and dance performance had already begun below. On a raised stage, a Geisha skilled in song and dance wore a gossamer robe that hinted at what lay beneath. Accompanied by decadent music, her swaying hips and fluttering cloud sleeves sent the imagination soaring. The faces of the audience were flushed as they roared their approval.

Zheng Xiu ascended the stairs with practiced ease. The long corridor was deserted. The madam was nowhere to be seen. As he rounded a corner, still some distance from the courtesan Fragrant Maiden’s private chambers, Zheng Xiu noticed that the set of three items that had been propped by the door just a moment ago—the bamboo pole, straw raincoat, and conical hat—had disappeared.

Zheng Xiu’s expression hardened. He immediately took the Eternal World Painting from his waist and opened a group chat.

Several shadowy figures flickered across the mirror surface, each labeled with their Disaster Prevention Bureau codename.

Before Zheng Xiu could even speak, the Eternal World Painting was flooded with messages as everyone started chattering at once:

[Living Dead]: The Young Master is done already? That was a little quick. Ah, to be young!

[Shadow Puppetry]: Teeheeheehee!

[Book-Copying Maniac]: Waaah! My stomach hurts!

[Gold Medal Middleman]: What’s going on in there? What’s done? Who’s done? Where are they done? What do you mean, ’done’?

[Snake]: What are you all doing over there?

[Ye]: Snake, you don’t have to worry. Young Master, please be careful. Ye can hear a lot of noise from inside.

[Book-Copying Maniac]: My stomach huuuuuurts!

[Mei Miaomiao]: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW (Don’t forget my fried fish cakes)!

[Gold Medal Middleman]: ...Who gave Lord Pillar Cat such a bizarre codename?

[Book-Copying Maniac]: Can you guys just ignore that stupid cat for a second! My baby’s about to be born, doesn’t anyone care about me?! Waaaaah!

[Qingqing]: Heh.

[Mei Miaomiao]: Meow?

[’Book-Copying Maniac’ has been removed from the group chat by ’Red King’.]

[All members have been muted by ’Red King’.]

’This is exactly why I never wanted to make a "Disaster Prevention Bureau" group chat.’

’It gets blown up in minutes.’

’What a happy bunch of clowns.’

But right now, Zheng Xiu needed some peace and quiet.

Once the group chat quieted down, Zheng Xiu began to speak.

"Ye, Qingqing, Xi’er—watch the exits. See if a boatman wearing a straw raincoat and conical hat, carrying a bamboo pole, comes out."

"Same goes for you, Elder Divine Doctor, Shadow Puppetry—get out of your private rooms and find Bai Qiuyue!"

"His three-piece set is missing!"

"Snake, be careful on your end. I suspect they already know the pregnant one is in the inn."

At the Red King’s command, the Disaster Prevention Bureau’s "Vice Squad" sprang into action.

Zheng Xiu closed the communication channel.

He strode to the courtesan’s door and kicked it open.

The moment the door flew open, Zheng Xiu froze.

A bewitching woman with her robes half-open was leaning languidly against the window. A long expanse of her pale legs was visible beneath her skirt. Her head was bowed, intently painting her toenails a brilliant red.

In Zheng Xiu’s eyes, Fragrant Maiden’s face and figure began to twist and distort.

His surroundings seemed to transform into a magnificent Human World Fairyland. The crisp song of orioles rang in his ears as waves of floral fragrance washed over him. For a moment, a kaleidoscope of bizarre lights and shadows spun before his eyes. In the blink of an eye, he and the woman were floating among the clouds. Amidst the swirling mists, she struck various seductive poses, beckoning to him, her mouth forming the words, "Come on... come on... come on..."

「Meanwhile, in Fragrant Maiden’s chambers.」

The youth who had kicked in the door suddenly went vacant, his eyes losing their light. He stood stiffly in the doorway, like a puppet.

Fragrant Maiden walked toward the youth, step by step.

Had an outsider been there to witness her gait, they would have been deeply suspicious. As she walked, Fragrant Maiden had none of a woman’s seductive grace. Instead, she strode forward, head held high, her steps carrying the distinct, steady gravitas of an elderly person.

"Who... exactly are you?"

A hoarse, ancient voice issued from Fragrant Maiden’s mouth. Her long skirt lifted silently, and from beneath it, translucent tentacles began to snake toward the youth.

At the tip of each tentacle was a writhing little mouth.

The mouths had two plump, fleshy lips, looking for all the world like a pair of thick sausages.

The maws on the tentacles gaped open, their writhing folds like rows of sharp teeth.

...

After the call on the Eternal World Painting ended, a chill went through the hearts of the listeners. They understood the gravity of the situation from the youth’s hurried message.

The moon was dark, the wind high.

A bank of dark clouds rolled in, obscuring the bright moon.

The moonlight that filtered through inexplicably stained the edges of the clouds a strange, pale purple.

「Outside the Yan Chun Building.」

Xi’er stood suspended high in the air. Beneath her feet, countless threads, invisible to the naked eye, were twisted into a single knot.