Chapter 482 - 243: "Human Form

Chapter 482: Chapter 243: "Human Form

Zheng Xiu used all his strength and grabbed ahold of Situ Yong.

Situ Yong shuffled forward slowly, inch by inch, until he couldn’t move at all.

Holding back the Divine Doctor alongside Zheng Xiu were threads nearly invisible to the naked eye. Xi’er’s fingers were taut, hooked around silky strands that shimmered like spiderwebs in the moonlight.

Mo Kuang was like a panicked first-time mother about to go into labor. His eyes were wide as he shrank into a corner of the bed, gasping for breath while watching the crowd. He had whipped out a book, its pages scrawled over and over with the words "Stay away!" He held the Miracle Technique in his hands, yet for one reason or another, he was too stunned to utter a single word.

HISS HISS HISS...

The Snake neither knew Mo Kuang nor could it empathize with him, but it couldn’t help flicking its tongue. The hissing sound it made was the very definition of misery.

"The moral of this story is that when you face hardship, you have to be strong and confront it head-on."

Ye dotingly stroked her younger sister’s hair, seizing the opportunity to teach her a lesson.

"What are you trying to do?"

Zheng Xiu was baffled.

Xi’er stared in shock and suspicion at the six Great Treasure Sabers hanging from Situ Yong’s waist. It was clearly the first time she had seen the normally eccentric Divine Doctor Situ decked out like a pig butcher. After a long, stunned moment, she asked timidly, "Divine Doctor, are you sure... this is how you’re going to treat him?"

The Divine Doctor declared with conviction, "Mild cases get mild treatments, but severe cases must be cut! If you don’t steel your heart and excise the root of the problem, how can you expect the knife to cure the disease!"

"I don’t want it! I don’t want it! I don’t want it!"

Mo Kuang finally snapped out of it and began muttering an incantation. Instantly, large golden characters materialized and flew like open palms toward Divine Doctor Situ’s face. However, just as he gathered his qi to chant, the child in his belly gave a playful kick, its little foot prodding his stomach. The pain made Mo Kuang break out in a cold sweat. The characters, which had started out menacing, went wobbly midway through their flight, losing all their initial resolve. Their winding, twisted forms now resembled a woman’s curves, giving them an almost coquettish air.

As the saying goes, the script reflects the scribe. When the others saw the characters, they were all taken aback. Divine Doctor Situ stared blankly for a moment before waving his hand. SWISH! With a flash of his blade, his sharp pig-butchering knife chopped the string of "I don’t want it"s into golden dust that scattered throughout the room.

Divine Doctor Situ snapped out of it and pointed at Mo Kuang on the bed. "See? He’s not actually resisting that much."

"I am resisting! I’m fucking resisting with everything I have! I’d rather die than submit! Just kill me now!"

Mo Kuang could see that his wimpy-looking characters had made them think he was just playing hard to get, and he wailed his protests.

MEOW MEOW MEOW~ ℴ

’Heh. Foolish Humans.’

The Orange Cat watched the chaos in the room, grinned, and let out a cheerful cry. Apparently, just watching wasn’t enough. It hopped onto the windowsill, reclined in the pose of an Imperial Consort, and took a loud CRUNCH out of a fried fishcake, settling in as a fishcake-eating member of the audience.

While Zheng Xiu was busy holding back Situ Yong, he heard the meow, and a translation appeared before his eyes. He couldn’t help but glance over at the Orange Cat. Zheng Xiu suspected there was something wrong with his Foreign Language ability.

’I must be terrible at Foreign Languages.’

Zheng Xiu reflected, heartbroken.

He tried to reason with the doctor. "Performing a caesarean section isn’t that simple. First, you need to figure out anesthesia and sterilization."

"Anesthesia and sterilization?"

Situ Yong turned to look at the young man, his eyes lighting up.

"Anesthesia is to prevent the patient from feeling pain. Sterilization is because your tools are covered in bacteria invisible to the naked eye. In mild cases, they cause disease; in severe cases, they’re fatal. A completely sterile environment is the foundation of any surgery, and the most common way to sterilize is with high heat."

Zheng Xiu gave the Elder Divine Doctor a concise primer on the basics of surgery. ’Of course, this is all just stuff I remember from TV shows,’ he thought. ’Who knows if it’s actually true. The important thing is to stop this knife-happy old doctor first.’

"Besides," Zheng Xiu added, seeing the Elder Divine Doctor’s expression waver, "once you cut him open, you have to sew him back up, don’t you?"

In the corner of the room, Snake and Ye exchanged a glance.

Snake raised a hand. "Hiss... My fangs can release a toxin. In a single moment, it can knock a person unconscious, their entire body losing all sensation."

Ye smiled gently, pulling a reed leaf from the folds of her robe. She placed it to her mouth, her lips leaving a moist imprint on the leaf.

"My reed leaf flute can induce hallucinations."

SWISH!

Suddenly, all eyes turned to Xi’er, who was still holding her threads.

Xi’er froze, then pointed at herself. "You can’t possibly... want me to do the sewing, can you?"

Everyone silently agreed.

Xi’er shook her head frantically. "No, no, no! I never sew living people! That’s what a Corpse Sewer does... Ptui, ptui, ptui! That’s not my Path! I have no intention of accidentally going down the wrong road!"

"Hehehe... What a coincidence." Jun Buxiao’s sinister laughter echoed through the room. As all eyes turned to him, Jun Buxiao held up a finger. With a soft *WHOOSH*, he blew on it, and a small flame magically flickered to life on his fingertip.

"I just so happen to know a little sleight-of-hand trick called Blowing Fire."

Zheng Xiu was stunned, too.

’How can everything be so convenient?’

’If you pool together the strange skills of all these Odd People, can you really... cobble together a C-section?’

’Is it that you’re just incredibly unlucky, Mo Kuang, or are the people I, the Red King, brought with me just too versatile?’

Mo Kuang’s eyes rolled back into his head. He began foaming at the mouth and passed out on the bed.

Even Divine Doctor Situ was baffled by how perfectly everything was falling into place.

"Enough."

Zheng Xiu’s face suddenly turned stern. He held the Red King Order high and declared, "From this moment on, everyone will be silent."

"COUGH, COUGH, COUGH..." Jun Buxiao, having choked on his own flame, leaned against the wall, coughing his lungs out.

The Snake retracted its tongue.

Ye silently tucked the reed leaf back into her cleavage.

Situ Yong thought for a moment. Perhaps it was because the young man’s earlier dissertation on the differences between high-class brothels and common dens of iniquity had won over this old connoisseur masquerading as a Divine Doctor. He nodded and looked at Zheng Xiu. "I’ll listen to you."